[Homegirl 50]

It was around a month. And yes she did. With one of her guy friends. Only she didn't even tell him when she was hanging out with her friends.

So he jumped right into a relationship with you and is making you pay for what she did. You can't have any guy friends, you have to tell him where you are going, you have to be home before dark... Don't you see what is going on here? Not only are you a rebound, but you are the tool he uses to fix what he perceives to have gone wrong.
This relationship is not healthy.

[mmeade0038]

So doing everything he says and never disagreeing with him is your way of not hurting him?

Well I know he's very attached to me, and he often says that he'd never be able to live without me. That I saved him. He's talked of getting engaged.. not for a few years of course, but still.

[Wondergirl]

Well I know he's very attached to me, and he often says that he'd never be able to live without me. That I saved him. He's talked of getting engaged.. not for a few years of course, but still.

Saved him from what?

[mmeade0038]

So he jumped right into a relationship with you and is making you pay for what she did. You can't have any guy friends, you have to tell him where you are going, you have to be home before dark...Don't you see what is going on here? Not only are you a rebound, but you are the tool he uses to fix what he perceives to have gone wrong.
This relationship is not healthy.

I don't think I'm a rebound, they usually don't last this long. And he does have feelings for me... whether they are physical or emotional I can't always tell.

[mmeade0038]

Saved him from what?

From a life filled with pain and loneliness. He was going to join the army after his ex, because he didn't care if he lived or not.

[Wondergirl]

from a life filled with pain and loneliness. He was going to join the army after his ex, because he didn't care if he lived or not.

Oh, my! Now if only I had a bridge to sell you...

And you believe this? (He never gave himself time to heal after his breakup, and there you were to "save" him.)

[mmeade0038]

Oh, my! Now if only I had a bridge to sell you....

And you believe this? (He never gave himself time to heal after his breakup, and there you were to "save" him.)

I find it hard to believe but I didn't question it. I know that people heal in different ways. I've only just now gotten oven my last.

[Wondergirl]

So where are you now with this?

[mmeade0038]

So where are you now with this?

I think I'm going to talk to a few of my friends... see what they think, and probably go on the trip anyway and deal with whatever consequences arise.

[Wondergirl]

If you can help him learn to trust and to relax his grip on you, you would be giving him a huge gift. I truly hope that will happen. If anyone can do it for him, I think you are the one.

[Homegirl 50]

I don't think I'm a rebound, they usually don't last this long. And he does have feelings for me... whether they are physical or emotional I can't always tell.

You have only been with this guy 7 months. You were a rebound and he will stay with you as long as you let him run your life and treat you like a child. He was not over this girl, he was angry and hurt. You are a pliable band-aide.
As puritanical as he is how does he feel about the fact that you are not a virgin?

[mmeade0038]

You have only been with this guy 7 months. You were a rebound and he will stay with you as long as you let him run your life and treat you like a child. He was not over this girl, he was angry and hurt. You are a pliable band-aide.
As puritanical as he is how does he feel about the fact that you are not a virgin?

He's okay with it, he isn't either. We haven't had sex together though, we both agreed to wait.

[Homegirl 50]

He's okay with it, he isn't either. We haven't had sex together though, we both agreed to wait.

Well that's good. I hope you wise up and leave this boy alone or at least stop allowing him to run your life.