[Kitty Kat]

I've been single for nearly a year. I am 24 and good looking. I go out and socialise regularly and I do meet guys however either they are attached or they are long and nothing progresses or they just want sex. I am so worried that I will end up alone and lonely- I'm nearly 25 and panicking. All my friends are attached and I often feel like the loser- I get jealous and I do not want to be jealous of my friends. I really want a relationship I have so much to give and I really would like to share a special bond with someone. I've had three boyfriends- my first cheated on me and got someone else pregnant we were together for 3 years the second wanted to keep us a secret and the third was a womanoiser also. I went on a date last night and before hand the guy and I had texted a lot and spoken on the phone and he seemed really sweet and considerate. However he spent a lot of the time on the phone to a female- who could have been a friend I guess however I found that rude nevertheless and then we were talking about a particular club in town and he asked me if there were girls ther- stupid question as of course there are- but its like he wanted to wind me up he seemed so different form his messages. He then asked me for a hug and I Refused because it felt forced and I like things to happen naturally and I felt like I was on the spot- I know its only a hug but that's how I felt then he sulked. My question is am I doomed to be single forever? I feel like its never my turn and I'm discouraged with things never going anywhere with guys. Are there people out there who end up being single forever? Will I end up being one of them- I feel left out and less of a person without a partner- like everyone is thinking there is something wrong with me. I don't think there is I'm well educated, witty , understanding, reliable and good looking - no I'm not everyone's taste but I'm not unattractive- so what is the problem-how can I improve my chances of finding the one?

[Geoffersonairplane]

Well, it sounds to me as if you go for the wrong type of man. You do sound like a very thoughtful person who has considerable depth. This is why I think you are going for the wrong type of man and can do better than you have got so far. I doubt very much you will be single forever since you have the quality of being attractive on the inside too and that is more important than anything. Why not stop focusing so much on getting a partner and just focus on you? So what if your friends are all partnered off? I am 27 next month and I have been single for 6 months since my ex left. I still consider myself very young and I am in no rush after my ex left to find someone else to get engaged to e.t.c. These days, people get married later anyway and I know you are not suggesting you want marriage, you are just yearning for a soul mate, for companionship, but sometimes and quite often, it happens when we least expect it and I put my bet on this happening in this way for you.

[Geoffersonairplane]

And you are no loser just because you don't have a boyfriend at the moment, you really are not that so quit calling yourself one..

[Kitty Kat]

Thanks for your reply and advice- very much appreciated and nice of you.

K

[Wildcat21]

Plesase!! YOU ARE WAY TOO YOUNG TO BE WORRYING ABOUT THIS!!

Be busy doing other things - Mr. Right doesn't come along until you least expect it.

[TrueFaith]

Hey kittly I'm young as well :) I've had so many relationships and I have found that it takes a stronger person to be alone that to be with someone.

We could all easy stay with someone that we kind of like.. but there are the few of us that want to be with the right one! And if it takes a little more time so be it. But in the end it is so worth it. The whole world is like oh get married at the age of 10 have kids etc live happy. Trust me its not like that..

We make our own rules in life..

You'll find someone who is perfect for you :)

Don't you think that's worth the wait?

Take care

[Geoffersonairplane]

Plesase!!! YOU ARE WAY TOO YOUNG TO BE WORRYING ABOUT THIS!!!!!

Be busy doing other things - Mr. Right doesn't come along until you least expect it.

Agree with Wildcat, give it another 10 years before you start being concerned and even then, does it really matter?

You will find the one>>IN TIME

Don't let society dictate where you think you should be at.

[Geoffersonairplane]

Agree with Wildcat, give it another 10 years before you start being concerned

That is not to say that even a 34 year old should worry either because some people don't find the one until their 40's or even beyond...

[Jiser]

Wow certainly got along time then!

[Wildcat21]

I do like the fact she is picky. Very important - she knows that their major jerks out there.

[Wildcat21]

ALL I will say is once you THINK you've found mr. Right... Go SLOW!!

Make sure he isn't a jerk. Some guys say the right things until they slip once.

[Ash123]

KittyKat -

Yes, you will be single for life, but don't worry about it.

You won't have to worry about carpools, you won't have to worry about someone cheating on you, a snoring spouse, insensitive in-laws, bad sex partners, working too late or your kids wanting all your money and none of your attention. Count your belssings. You'll avoid all the issues that fill up this forum!

Actually Kiddo, you are only 24. Don't sweat it. This is career time. Boys WILL find you. If you're not sure he's a nice guy, bring him home to the parents and see how it rolls. Life is short. Enjoy thyself. You will be fine.

[kaitou]

Well I agree with what everyone said. So I'll just add one thing. You might be gearing yourself to a self-fulfilling prophecy by saying you'll be alone forever, and all those negative worries.

You might be unknowingly pushing everyone (opportunities) away without knowing. With various reasons such as: Thinking that person is not right for you, you two are not compactible, etc , etc. I'm not saying you should give everyone a try, but definitely stay positive and more open-minded.

You sound confident with yourself. So stay positive, and the right person will come along eventually. No need to rush :).

[Nosnosna]

I'm the same age as you, male, and single for considerably longer than you have been. But I'm happily single. You can be too, and if you can be happy single, you'll have better luck at being happy down the line when you do get into a relationship.

The key to being happy is to come to the realization that you don't need anybody else to be happy. You should always be able to look to something that involves only you to achieve happiness... find that thing, and take it up as a hobby (or, if you're lucky enough to be able to do so, make that your career instead). Once you've got a baseline for individual happiness, then you can think about finding somebody to share it with.

A relationship shouldn't make you happy... it should make you happier.

Edit to add: Oh yeah... don't put up with any crap from guys. Most of us are too full of it to be worth the effort :)

[talaniman]

Keep doing what your doing, and trust your instincts to know when you find the right one. Be patient and live and enjoy your single life.

[Wildcat21]

When I was in my 20's I single mostly - nothing real serious - dated I lot - I just didn't know what the hell I wanted.

Date a lot - sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs!!

[Geoffersonairplane]

Date a lot - sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs!!!!

:D LOL>> Yes and just make sure you don't kiss a prince, dump him, and then kiss a load of frogs instead.

[Synnen]

:D LOL>> Yes and just make sure you don't kiss a prince, dump him, and then kiss a load of frogs instead.

One person's frog is another's prince.

I say keep kissing until you get a prince you want to keep.

[Kitty Kat]

Thanks for all your advise everyone I feel a little better now- I will try all the tips - thanks you!

[Kitty Kat]

Oh and I will just say- in response to Wildcat- I do give guys chances even the ones that I'm not too sure about- I do this so I can say that I tried and that I didn't let the potential right one get away!