[Shwaya]

Hi all this is totally new to me so lets see if this will help.

I am a 41 yrs old women married for 23 yrs and I have had mild depression but I lived with it sine I was 17. But... 7yrs ago I developed Severe Advanced Disk Degeneration and well I was bed ridden for 3yrs before they would finally do the surgery and well while I was bed ridden I fell into a bad place I did nothing but sleep... so finally I have the surgery and now my back is better my my head is not. We then move to another province in Canada and well after being here a year and being on disablitly for this long also I started rehab and THEN I find out on May 5th my husband of 23 yrs is having an affair on me . He said he was not attracted to me and that he is not in love with me anymore so myself esteem is gone and then that didn't help. But now after talking and counseling we are working this out but he came to me last night after his counselor and said that he does not understand depression and can I help him understand it.

I hope someone is still reading after me babbling but I am all alone here in BC and just need to talk I guess thanks!

[JudyKayTee]

hi all this is totally new to me so lets see if this will help.

i am a 41 yrs old women married for 23 yrs and i have had mild depression but i lived with it sine i was 17. but.... 7yrs ago i developed Severe Advanced Disk Degeneration and well i was bed ridden for 3yrs before they would finally do the surgery and well while i was bed ridden i fell into a bad place i did nothing but sleep.... so finally i have the surgery and now my back is better my my head is not. We then move to another province in Canada and well after being here a year and being on disablitly for this long also i started rehab and THEN i find out on May 5th my husband of 23 yrs is having an affair on me . he said he was not attracted to me and that he is not in love with me anymore so my self esteem is gone and then that didn't help. but now after talking and counseling we are working this out but he came to me last night after his counselor and said that he does not understand depression and can i help him understand it.

i hope someone is still reading after me babbling but i am all alone here in BC and just need to talk i guess thanks !!

What is your question - this is a Q and A site. Do you need to explain depression to him, something else.

Your counselor, who knows you both, should be able to explain it as it relates to your marriage.

[J_9]

I'm not sure what you are asking us to help you with. Could you please clarify your question for us?

[Burtney_682]

Depression is a very hard thing to explain. The way that I would describe my depression is that I have ups and downs. For a week I'll feel great like I can conquer the world. Then I'll wake up one morning and I feel like everything that I do is a struggle. Being social, getting chores done, handling any amount of stress. I sleep a lot and feel sluggish. I often feel very alone despite family and friends.

I would tell your husband that there are times when you just feel very very sad and that it can be a fight to get out of that stage (if that is how you feel, just an idea).

I'm sorry that things are so rough for you right now. Make sure to go outside everyday in the sun, take a deep breath and appreciate what's around you. Try to get rid of negative thoughts. Make an effort to find a positive in everything. When you start criticizing yourself, just stop and think of something else. Find a hobby or something that you enjoy.

I try to remember that feelings are fleeting. They pass. I definitely know what you mean when you say you just need to talk. Lay it all out here!

[J_9]

Depression is a very hard thing to explain. The way that I would describe my depression is that I have ups and downs. For a week I'll feel great like I can conquer the world. Then I'll wake up one morning and I feel like everything that I do is a struggle. Being social, getting chores done, handling any amount of stress. I sleep a lot and feel sluggish. I often feel very alone despite family and friends.

That sounds like a typical case of Bipolar Depression. I'm not sure that is what the OP might be experiencing.