[Mary28]

My sister is 14 (just) and she's actually been like this for a while now, even before she hit her teens although it has escalated in the last year or so. At her old school, she actually got kicked out and sent to an alternative school at the age of 12 for violence (getting in fights, etc). She takes no personal responsibility for anything she does and it's always someone else's fault. Even if it's something small and we make it clear that it's not that big of deal (like if she spills something and she's asked to clean it up), she freaks out screaming that it's not her fault and whatever.
We moved out of state and she started a new school (freshman in hs) and so far, she hasn't had anything that's warranted being sent to the principal's office so that's good. Although it's not even a month into the school year so we'll see how that goes.
She's been both physically and verbally abusive towards multiple family members in the past. Which is crazy because we don't hit in our family. I don't even ever remember getting spanked once when I was a kid, so I know she's not learning that behavior at home. If she doesn't get her way, she hits and it's gotten to the point that my nephew is actually afraid of her, although she's never hit him (he's 6). She goes on these rages where she screams at the top of her lungs for up to an hour. After we calmly explain to her that we live in an apartment and could get in trouble for noise (often late at night), she said she doesn't give a crap and continues screaming. Extended family (aunts, cousins) don't want anything to do with her because of her behavior. Even though this is obviously her fault, she fails to see it and blames it on my mom.
Back home, we lived in a very small town, and there were few instances for her to get into any real trouble (although she still managed to on occasion). Now that we live in a bigger town, she's made a lot of friends, which is good and I'm not saying they are bad friends, but it just gives her more of an excuse to leave the house and stay out all night. She leaves, doesn't tell anyone where she's going, stays out all night (although I'm fairly certain she's not drinking or anything like that, just staying over at friends' houses). When my mom advised her that she needed to provide a phone number/address to where she's going to be, my sister freaks out again. The fact is, my sister is bigger than both me and my mom and she could do some real harm if she wanted to. Plus, with her rage, that makes it all the worse.
My mom finally got fed up last week after trying a variety of tactics with her, and sent her to a treatment facility for a week for observation. The docs there advised that she has anger issues that she was born with and B type personality disorder. They prescribed her meds to help deal with her anger and something else too that I forgot. The thing is, she got out today, and my mom took her to school since my sister begged her to even though there was only 1/2 hr left in the school day. My mom was gone when my sis got out of school and she came home with a friend of hers (again, her friends are not the prob) and changed her shoes and then left again. She didn't say where she was going or anything like that. When my mom got home a while later, it turns out that she was never supposed to leave the house after school and she was advised of this before my mom dropped her off at school. It's now after midnight and she's not home yet. Again, I'm sure she's at her friend's house, but we need to know where she is obviously. One would assume that since she just got out of the treatment facility, that she would at least try to be on her best behavior for maybe a day or two.
Ok, so that was a really long post and I apologize, but this is years in the making and I know my mom has no idea how to handle the situation. Any help would be appreciated. And yes, I know I'm not the mom, but I do live here so I would like to help my mom deal with the situtation before things get even worse (like her hurting someone).

[Fr_Chuck]

Sounds like someone who needs to be sent to a boot camp or actually be held responible.

[JudyKayTee]

She's been both physically and verbally abusive towards multiple family members in the past. Which is crazy because we don't hit in our family. I don't even ever remember getting spanked once when I was a kid, so I know she's not learning that behavior at home. If she doesn't get her way, she hits and it's gotten to the point that my nephew is actually afraid of her, although she's never hit him (he's 6).

Much of this is more blog than question - she's out of control. Where is your father in this?

Your sister needs help/treatment/counseling/whatever is available. A six-year old is afraid of her, and she continues to have access to the child?

My other thought is that watching over her, controlling her, is your mother's job, not yours. If she can't trust your sister to stay home then your mother needs to make arrangements to stay home with her.

You're right - she's not your child. You mother is the adult, and she needs to get control by whatever means it takes before your sister badly hurts someone.

[TheKidOfTheWise]

Sorry to inform you this but you live in a big city right? Your sister migjt end up dead. I live in a city and is not good to have a temper. Ond day she can get very angry and will be shot. It happened to me once.

[TheKidOfTheWise]

I have anger problems so I used to get into fights. One day when I was in seventh grade, a high school kid was messing with me. By then I learned to control my temper. He had a bunchh of his friends with him. If I had gotten angry and fought him I could have been beaten up or dead. You can't force her to do much. Just let her kniw that in a city if you don't control your temper you might end up with a grave engraved with your name.