[Mbt3gifts]

Sorry. My brother was my best friend and I meant we did everything together growing up. He was my go to person as well as my uncle who died in November. The two men in my life that I counted on have died within 8 months and I am in a black hole. I don't know how to face it or accept it or believe it. I am in a fog. I force myself to get up everyday. I also am getting divorced and have 3 kids and u feel overwhelmingly sad. I know there are people out there who have worst problems than me and I am blessed in many ways but I can't handle the pain. How do you find your way out of this darkness?

[Fr_Chuck]

It is one day at a time. If you need, see if there are grief support groups in your area that you can go to.

[sheri m]

I know how it feels to have overwhelming grief--and I can only answer from my own experience. When I lost my husband and best friend I went to the animal shelter and found a dog that had been traumatized/abused and "rescued" him--the truth is that he rescued me. Focusing on his needs helped me find the courage to not give up--I had to teach him how to play--and doing that helped me learn how to play again. Oh it's so hard--every day is such a struggle--but what I noticed is that grief is like wading in the ocean--sometimes a big wave of grief hits you and then it passes. I learned to breathe in the spaces between the waves. Doing things helped a lot--I used to go up to the top of a mountain--dig a hole--yell all of my pain into the hole and bury it. I also keep sending prayers of gratitude for each memory no matter how painful. And I kept talking to the deceased person. Don't give up. Even breathing is a victory. Find a support group or a friend. Be active--even if active means talking and walking as much as possible. These are a bunch of random thoughts--what I am finding is that grief continues during our life journey. And if you do feel laughter/joy--even for a moment--don't feel guilty--allow yourself to feel good if only for a moment. Therapeutic massage can be very healing too. Hope this helps.

[Alty]

When I lost my parents 6 months apart from each other, I found that grief counseling helped me a great deal. I didn't want to go at first, but it was such a relief to be able to talk to someone, cry in front of them, voice my feelings, and not have to be careful about what I said or how I reacted. Talking to family doesn't always work, because they're going through the same thing you are. Talking to a stranger that's trained to help you deal with it, that helps a lot.

I would highly suggest you start grief counseling, not only for the loss of your brother and Uncle, but for the loss of your marriage as well.

My deepest condolences to you and your family.

[joypulv]

It's OK to cry in front of your children. They will sense how you feel anyway. They need you, and being needed will help get you through this.

Another suggestion is a little shrine, indoors or out, a small spot with objects and pictures, a spot to focus on when you need to sigh deeply and think and talk to your brother. Talk to him, whether you believe in a spirit life or not.