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carlisle5 · Sep 8, 2012, 12:07 AM

My 19 year old daughter walked out of the house a couple of months ago after the millionth time I caught her doing things she shouldn't be doing (i.e. lying, sneaking, giving out our personal home number to strangers on the internet, missing classes, etc.). I did the usual things by taking away her "goodies" until she learns (not saying the other 999,999 times worked) but then she got a look on her face and said that she's done with us. Walked out with the clothes on her back. I found out through lots of searching through her friends she is staying with some people 7 hours away. She will not talk to any of her family and says she disowns us. These people (have not a clue who they are) threatened that if they don't get her birth certificate and social card from us they will block our number. They also said until they get both of these, they won't even think of letting her talk to us. I don't know what is going on, but I seem to be the only person that cares about how weird this sounds. Of course I'm not handing over her personal stuff to some strangers!! But they are threatening us as if they feel they have the right! Is there anybody that knows how I can get a hold of her and at least talk to her? I just expected her to be gone a few hours and come back home, but she got a bus ticket from someone and left... I am desperate to find her and talk to her!

smoothy · Sep 8, 2012, 05:44 AM

I would call the police about these threats... while I doubt it rises to extortion, I'm not in a position to say it isn't. Let the police tell you it isn't and let them look into it if it is.

As an adult, she can walk away... but as an adult... she can file for and get her own copy of the birth certificate from the state.

I'm with you on that part... DON'T give that document out to anyone.

Fr_Chuck · Sep 8, 2012, 05:56 AM

Do not give this to them, if your daughter wanted or needed them, she can call and ask for them. And/or she can easily just order replacements from the government.

But she can walk away, I have one son that I often have no idea where he is for months at a time. ( he is in his 30's now)

I agree I would give this info to the police since they are threating, since they should not be able to control who or what your daughter does.

joypulv · Sep 8, 2012, 06:03 AM

She has a right to those documents but she has to get them in person.
I'm sure she put those friends up to it, but you can't be too careful. Worst case scenario, someone wants to steal her identity.

JudyKayTee · Sep 8, 2012, 07:45 AM

Originally Posted by joypulv

She has a right to those documents but she has to get them in person.
I'm sure she put those friends up to it, but you can't be too careful. Worst case scenario, someone wants to steal her identity.

I wonder why a third party is speaking for the daughter - ?

carlislelaura · Oct 9, 2012, 06:47 AM

I wonder the same thing too JudyKay... why won't she confront me, her dad, her grandmother or grandfather? These people refuse to let us contact her and in every passing day my anxiety gets worse wondering what is going on? Like I've said , we've never had the best relationship, but a week before all this she kept telling me she loved me and as usual I would tell her the same over and over. I wish I knew a P.I. or anybody close to help me because the police don't want to. All I really want to know is IS SHE OKAY? I'm so tired of worrying 24/7 and getting myself sick over it.

JudyKayTee · Oct 9, 2012, 07:28 AM

I wonder if drugs are involved. Do you know?

I can handle knowing "bad stuff." I have trouble worrying about "bad stuff." You must be living on pins and needles.

joypulv · Oct 9, 2012, 07:46 AM

The only reason I figured third parties (friends, with her standing by the phone) contacted you is so that she could hold her resolve to not speak to you. I could be wrong of course. I'm guessing that she wanted her birth certificate and SS card to get a license, a job, a passport, or benefits like food stamps.
I'm so sorry this happened. It happens every day to countless parents who have adult children. It's horrendous when they are under 18 and the police in some states don't have to even look for them.
I and my 2 siblings disappeared at various times from parental contact over the last 45 - 50 years, depending on how disgruntled we were, or even just how miserable we were. We always contacted them sooner or later.
Why don't you hire a P.I. A good one can usually find someone quickly.