[Hennali]

I have a boxer that I cannot stand. I am home with him with two kids and do not have a fence for him to go run. I want to get rid of him because it is me having to deal with him. I have told my fiancé I am really stressed out and need a fence or an electric fence my friend would sell for really cheap. He keeps saying the fence will be up someday and he doesn't want the electric fence because it's a circle diameter. Anyway, I have tried to keep him out f the kitchen. He will literally jump on counter and get our dinner. I think it is gross to have a dog in the kitchen while eating. He is also not allowed human food except apples and carrots so keeping him out of the kitchen is smart IMO. So, now twice today after making him leave the kitchen he peed and pooped everywhere within an hour of each other. We have an open floor plan so he can see us and is literally two feet from the table in the living room. Also, he has gotten off the leash more times than I can count and runs around. I am afraid he will eventually get hit by a car. He is a good dog and usually very happy. He is extremely playful and I am super busy as is my fiancé. I do not think it is fair for the dog. He needs to run and play everyday but I can't just throw a fence up and my fiancé is who runs our finances. He knows how stressed I am it's been going on for a long time now. What can I do to prevent him from peeing and pooping and basically train him without him getting mad and going potty everywhere? He was house broken a long time ago so I know there is a behavioral issue behind these actions. I am very close to giving an ultimatum on the dog or me and I absolutely do not want to do that. I just want everyone to get how stressed out I am. I clean, cook, take care of the dog, and work two jobs a few days a week. I do everything except mow the lawn and take out the trash. We recently had my sister and her fiancé and daughter and dog who sheds a coat everyday move in with us. I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown but believe the dog is at the top of my stress list. Please I need some advice! I so love my dog I just do not have time for him.

[JudyKayTee]

I have a boxer that I cannot stand. I am home with him with two kids and do not have a fence for him to go run. I want to get rid of him because it is me having to deal with him. I have told my fiancé I am really stressed out and need a fence or an electric fence my friend would sell for really cheap. He keeps saying the fence will be up someday and he doesn't want the electric fence bc it's a circle diameter. Anyways, I have tried to keep him out f the kitchen. He will literally jump on counter and get our dinner. I think it is gross to have a dog in the kitchen while eating. He is also not allowed human food except apples and carrots so keeping him out of the kitchen is smart IMO. So, now twice today after making him leave the kitchen he peed and pooped everywhere within an hour of eachother. We have an open floor plan so he can see us and is literally two feet from the table in the living room. Also, he has gotten off the leash more times than i can count and runs around. I am afraid he will eventually get hit by a car. He is a good dog and usually very happy. He is extremely playful and I am super busy as is my fiancé. I do not think it is fair for the dog. He needs to run and play everyday but I can't just throw a fence up and my fiancé is who runs our finances. He knows how stressed I am it's been going on for a long time now. What can I do to prevent him from peeing and pooping and basically train him without him getting mad and going potty everywhere? He was house broken a long time ago so I know there is a behavioral issue behind these actions. I am very close to giving an ultimatum on the dog or me and I absolutely do not want to do that. I just want everyone to get how stressed out I am. I clean, cook, take care of the dog, and work two jobs a few days a week. I do everything except mow the lawn and take out the trash. We recently had my sister and her fiancé and daughter and dog who sheds a coat everyday move in with us. I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown but believe the dog is at the top of my stress list. Please I need some advice! I so love my dog I just do not have time for him.

Maybe I'm confused - to quote you: "I have a boxer that I cannot stand"... I want to get rid of him because it is me having to deal with him... I am very close to giving an ultimatum on the dog or me and I absolutely do not want to do that.. . Please I need some advice! I so love my dog I just do not have time for him."

You either love him or cannot stand him.

Which is it?

Once you post that answer I'm sure advice will appear!

[Hennali]

I am as I said on the verge of a nervous breakdown so I typed real fast and am in tears if you have never been in a live hate relationship with anyone and can't just give me some advice without being rude then please just don't respond.

[Alty]

I am as I said on the verge of a nervous breakdown so I typed real fast and am in tears if you have never been in a live hate relationship with anyone and can't just give me some advice without being rude then please just don't respond.

Dogs behave as they're taught. Dogs are great at judging people. Your dog knows you hate him, and he's acting accordingly.

He does what he does, and you really do nothing about it other than complain about the dog.

This dog would be better off in a new home.

[Hennali]

[QUOTE=JudyKayTee;3261821]Maybe I'm confused - to quote you: "I have a boxer that I cannot stand"... I want to get rid of him because it is me having to deal with him... I am very close to giving an ultimatum on the dog or me and I absolutely do not want to do that.. . Please I need some advice! I so love my dog I just do not have time for him."

You either love him or cannot stand him.

Which is it?

Once you post that answer I'm sure advice will appear!
I am here for some real advice. I am really upset. I assure there are people out there that have experienced a "love" and "cannot stand" relationship with their animal or even a person for that matter. I was crying when I typed that out. I don't want Anyone's advice who is just going to attack me and quote things I typed. So, if you can't do that please don't answer my question. I am a good person and am just trying to get some advice on how to help me with my dog.

[JudyKayTee]

I am as I said on the verge of a nervous breakdown so I typed real fast and am in tears if you have never been in a live hate relationship with anyone and can't just give me some advice without being rude then please just don't respond.

So - you do you love or hate the dog? You posted both.

If you are on the verge of a nervous breakdown, yes, rehome the dog. I'd also rehome the fiancé, but that's just my opinion.

I see no rudeness when I quote YOU. I made up none of that, but I did quote your own words.

If the "hating him" part is the true part, rehome him.

If the "loving him" part is the true part, find a trainer.

[JudyKayTee]

[QUOTE=Hennali;3261837]

Maybe I'm confused - to quote you: "I have a boxer that I cannot stand" ... I want to get rid of him because it is me having to deal with him ... I am very close to giving an ultimatum on the dog or me and I absolutely do not want to do that. ... Please I need some advice! I so love my dog I just do not have time for him."

You either love him or cannot stand him.

Which is it?

Once you post that answer I'm sure advice will appear!
I am here for some real advice. I am really upset. I assure there are people out there that have experienced a "love" and "cannot stand" relationship with their animal or even a person for that matter. I was crying when I typed that out. I don't want Anyones advice who is just going to attack me and quote things I typed. So, if you can't do that please don't answer my question. I am a good person and am just trying to get some advice on how to help me with my dog.

Where do you see a personal attack when I am quoting you? There are two different answers, one for if you hate the dog, one for if you love the dog.

Again - where is the personal attack? Please post my attack on you.

No one said you aren't a good person. If I did say that, please quote me.

And, no, I've never had a love/hate relationship with my dog.

You are sitting in front of your computer, crying, and your fiancé thinks the dog is a good idea - ?

[Hennali]

Ok I guess I came to wrong the place. I don't just complain about the dog. I wasn't going to write a book. I am doing something right now by researching and asking for help. I have read a boxer book. I don't have money to take him to a trainer. My question was what can I do to train my dog without him getting mad and pooping peeing everywhere in the house. I also said he was a good usually happy dog and is very playful.. I left out he sleeps with me every night. Please don't be mean and just assume he is better off give me some real advice.

[Alty]

[QUOTE=Hennali;3261837]

Maybe I'm confused - to quote you: "I have a boxer that I cannot stand" ... I want to get rid of him because it is me having to deal with him ... I am very close to giving an ultimatum on the dog or me and I absolutely do not want to do that. ... Please I need some advice! I so love my dog I just do not have time for him."

You either love him or cannot stand him.

Which is it?

Once you post that answer I'm sure advice will appear!
I am here for some real advice. I am really upset. I assure there are people out there that have experienced a "love" and "cannot stand" relationship with their animal or even a person for that matter. I was crying when I typed that out. I don't want Anyones advice who is just going to attack me and quote things I typed. So, if you can't do that please don't answer my question. I am a good person and am just trying to get some advice on how to help me with my dog.

You mentioned the lack of fence many times. So I have to ask, what are you doing to potty train this dog? How many times a day does the dog go for a walk? When he goes out to potty, who's with him, how is potty training being accomplished?

If you're just putting a leash on the dog, putting him in the yard, and hoping that he'll learn that he has to potty outside, then there's your problem.

I'm not trying to be mean, I'm really not. But a dog is only as good as his owner. If the owner doesn't put in the time and effort to train, the dog will be a wreck, a nuisance. You hate your dog because you haven't trained him. You love your dog because you realize that you're to blame.

Do both you and your dog a favor. Give him to someone that is willing to put in the time and effort to train him. If you won't do that, and you continue the way you are, your dog will just get worse and worse. The older he gets, the more he's conditioned to do the wrong thing, the harder it will be to find someone to take him on.

You have no idea what it takes to have a dog, and neither does your fiancé. A dog is work. Either put in the work, live with an unruly dog, or give the dog to someone that's willing to put in the work. Those are your options.

If you choose to keep the dog, I'm willing to help. But, if that's your choice, you have to stop blaming the dog for his lack of training, and stop blaming your fiancé. You have to get up, and train the dog. If you can't do that, then give the dog a chance to live, and give him to someone that will train him.

[JudyKayTee]

Ok I guess I came to wrong the place. I dont just complain about the dog. I wasn't going to write a book. I am doing something right now by researching and asking for help. I have read a boxer book. I don't have money to take him to a trainer. My question was what can I do to train my dog without him getting mad and pooping peeing everywhere in the house. I also said he was a good usually happy dog and is very playful.. I left out he sleeps with me every night. Please don't be mean and just assume he is better off give me some real advice.

He can't "pee and poop" everywhere if he's in one room or in a crate.

Dogs don't get "mad" and "pee and poop" to teach you a lesson. Dogs don't think like people do. "Revenge" is not in their vocabulary.

If he is the object of like/dislike he undoubtedly senses it. Do him a favor - find people who actually will work with him.

You are this upset and your fiancé simply doesn't care? I think that's more of a problem than the "peeing and pooping" - or it would be in MY house.

And Alty said it best. Dogs take time. Lots and lots of time. Sometimes they have to "relearn." They aren't born knowing where to "pee and poop." Sleeping on the bed is not a good idea. I question whether the dog knows you're in charge.

How much time do you spend with the dog, training, teaching, every day?
\

[Hennali]

So - you do you love or hate the dog? You posted both.

If you are on the verge of a nervous breakdown, yes, rehome the dog. I'd also rehome the fiance, but that's just my opinion.

I see no rudeness when I quote YOU. I made up none of that, but I did quote your own words.

If the "hating him" part is the true part, rehome him.

If the "loving him" part is the true part, find a trainer.

I am sitting here trying to get some help. I just want advice on my questions. I never said I hated him. As I stated before I am really upset right now. I love him but can't stand him when he acts out. I do not know what I am doing wrong or I wouldn't be here. I do know he doesn't have the chance to run outside like he deserves. I did say that wasn't fair for a dog. I do not want to give an ultimatum I made that clear. But, I am in nursing school and have two jobs and a two kids and have a lot on my plate, so when the dog is pooping and oeeing because he is mad he can't come into the kitchen I tend to get a little upset.

[Alty]

Ok I guess I came to wrong the place. I dont just complain about the dog. I wasn't going to write a book. I am doing something right now by researching and asking for help. I have read a boxer book. I don't have money to take him to a trainer. My question was what can I do to train my dog without him getting mad and pooping peeing everywhere in the house. I also said he was a good usually happy dog and is very playful.. I left out he sleeps with me every night. Please don't be mean and just assume he is better off give me some real advice.

You didn't come to the wrong place if you actually want advice.

If you want to hear what you want to hear, and don't want the truth, then you're in the wrong place.

Sometimes you have to accept that you're the major part of the problem. When you accept that, and listen, you can solve the issue.

If you can't accept that you're the problem, and need to change, then you're doomed, and sadly so is the dog.

Swallow your pride. No one is saying you're evil. We're saying that you don't know what you're doing, and the dog is suffering. Is that your fault? Well, once you know the right way, if you're not willing to implement it, then it's your fault. If you listen, and learn, and teach your dog, and still feel this way, then at least you can say "I tried everything I could".

So let's start from the beginning.

How has he been potty trained so far? How often is he walked? Tell me what you're doing to train him, how much time you spend doing this. We can go from there.

I'm really not judging. My main concern is for the dog, because really, this isn't his fault. Is it yours? If you know how to train a dog and didn't do it, then it's your fault. If you have no clue, and that's why this is happening, then I'm willing to teach you, but you have to be willing to learn, and take the good with the bad.

[JudyKayTee]

I am sitting here trying to get some help. I just want advice on my questions. I never said I hated him. As I stated before I am really upset right now. I love him but can't stand him when he acts out. I do not know what I am doing wrong or I wouldn't be here. I do know he doesnt have the chance to run outside like he deserves. I did say that wasn't fair for a dog. I do not want to give an ultimatum I made that clear. But, I am in nursing school and have two jobs and a two kids and have a lot on my plate, so when the dog is pooping and oeeing bc he is mad he can't come into the kitchen I tend to get a little upset.

Maybe you don't have time for him - again, dogs don't "pee and poop" to teach you a lesson. That's not how they think.

Two kids, two jobs AND nursing school. How much time do you spent with the dog every day? Who supervises him when you are in school and working?

[Hennali]

[QUOTE=Alty;3261844]

You mentioned the lack of fence many times. So I have to ask, what are you doing to potty train this dog? How many times a day does the dog go for a walk? When he goes out to potty, who's with him, how is potty training being

accomplished?

If you're just putting a leash on the dog, putting him in the yard, and hoping that he'll learn that he has to potty outside, then there's your problem.

I'm not trying to be mean, I'm really not. But a dog is only as good as his owner. If the owner doesn't put in the time and effort to train, the dog will be a wreck, a nuisance. You hate your dog because you haven't trained him. You love your dog because you realize that you're to blame.

Do both you and your dog a favor. Give him to someone that is willing to put in the time and effort to train him. If you won't do that, and you continue the way you are, your dog will just get worse and worse. The older he gets, the more he's conditioned to do the wrong thing, the harder it will be to find someone to take him on.

You have no idea what it takes to have a dog, and neither does your fiance. A dog is work. Either put in the work, live with an unruly dog, or give the dog to someone that's willing to put in the work. Those are your options.

If you choose to keep the dog, I'm willing to help. But, if that's your choice, you have to stop blaming the dog for his lack of training, and stop blaming your fiance. You have to get up, and train the dog. If you can't do that, then give the dog a chance to live, and give him to someone that will train him.

I have read boxers are extremely stubborn dogs and did not know what I was getting myself into. I also stated in my first post that I think it is unfair to our dog. We take him for two walks a day. I already stated he was potty trained a long time ago... we take him out on his leash to potty. I also take him for a run on e leash like 4 times a week. We are real health nuts. His food is more expensive then mine! I juice carrots and apples for him and I try to make sure he feels like part of the pack.l. That is why I am here because I do not understand what I am doing wrong. I do not believe it is always an owners fault but at is a whole other debate which is very controversial and this isn't the place for that. I do realize he should get out to run more. I do not get however why when you enforce rules he poops and pees. I watch dog whisperer I love that show it's on my DVR. I am extremely upset about this because I feel I have given as much time and effort I can to him. Could it be separation anxiety I mean why does everyone jump to its because I am a horrible dog owner? I'm really trying to be able to keep him here I'm not a dog abuser so I also see not having much time for him may be a reason to give him to someone else.

[Hennali]

Maybe you don't have time for him - again, dogs don't "pee and poop" to teach you a lesson. That's not how they think.

Two kids, two jobs AND nursing school. How much time do you spent with the dog every day? Who supervises him when you are in school and working?

He stays out with guess what no accidents! I'm having trouble believing it isn't something he is doing because he is stubborn and angry or having some separation anxiety. I am home some days and my sister is here but she is in school too so he has her dog he plays with during the day if I am not here.

[JudyKayTee]

[QUOTE=Hennali;3261855]

I have read boxers are extremely stubborn dogs and did not know what I was getting myself into. I also stated in my first post that I think it is unfair to our dog. We take him for two walks a day. I already stated he was potty trained a long time ago...we take him out on his leash to potty. I also take him for a run on e leash like 4 times a week. We are real health nuts. His food is more expensive then mine! I juice carrots and apples for him and I try to make sure he feels like part of the pack.l. That is why I am here bc I do not understand what I am doing wrong. I do not believe it is always an owners fault but at is a whole other debate which is very controversial and this isn't the place for that. I do realize he should get out to run more. I do not get however why when u enforce rules he poops and pees. I watch dog whisperer I love that show it's on my DVR. I am extremely upset about this bc I feel I have given as much time and effort I can to him. Could it be separation anxiety I mean why does everyone jump to its because I am a horrible dog owner? I'm really trying to be able to keep him here I'm not a dog abuser so I also see not having much time for him may be a reason to give him to someone else.

I have GSDs. Trust me, Boxers are a walk in the park. Want to talk about locking horns?

Running him 4 times a week isn't enough. He needs to exercise every day.

Just out of curiousity - who suggested juicing for him? I've had dogs my whole life (almost all rescues, many with bad backgrounds, problems with behavior) and I've never heard that one before.

If you don't believe it is at least partially your fault, again, your words, then rehome him to people who will accept that it's all his fault and will work with him.

I've had difficult dogs, dogs that could not be otherwise placed, my whole life. Who is with him when you are working your two jobs and going to school?

I agree with this: "I think it is unfair to our dog." Any other time in your life this could be a wonderful dog for you. He just isn't right now. There's no disgrace in that.

I do think you are overreacting, taking all of this personally. No one said you are a dog abuser. I "adopted" a 7-month old dog that the previous owners could NOT housebreak, no matter what. I didn't have a problem. She was housebroken within the week. Why? I have no idea.

And, yes, I also work - full time.

What do you mean by: "He stays out with guess what no accidents." It would seem he can't "pee and poop" in the house if he's outside. What am I missing?

[Hennali]

You didn't come to the wrong place if you actually want advice.

If you want to hear what you want to hear, and don't want the truth, then you're in the wrong place.

Sometimes you have to accept that you're the major part of the problem. When you accept that, and listen, you can solve the issue.

If you can't accept that you're the problem, and need to change, then you're doomed, and sadly so is the dog.

Swallow your pride. No one is saying you're evil. We're saying that you don't know what you're doing, and the dog is suffering. Is that your fault? Well, once you know the right way, if you're not willing to implement it, then it's your fault. If you listen, and learn, and teach your dog, and still feel this way, then at least you can say "I tried everything I could".

So let's start from the beginning.

How has he been potty trained so far? How often is he walked? Tell me what you're doing to train him, how much time you spend doing this. We can go from there.

I'm really not judging. My main concern is for the dog, because really, this isn't his fault. Is it yours? If you know how to train a dog and didn't do it, then it's your fault. If you have no clue, and that's why this is happening, then I'm willing to teach you, but you have to be willing to learn, and take the good with the bad.

We walk twice a day. We take him out on leash to go potty. He stays out of cage when we are away and never has an accident. He has my sisters dog to play with and they love each other and are two males! We do many of dog whisper tools. We trained our kids with super nanny tactics. I think the only thing he is lacking is maybe time spent with my fiancé and time spent running outside. I have tried standing in the doorway so he learns he can't come in that room (learned on dog whisper). We taught him to walk with his methods too. I don't have 24/7 with him and am willing to learn. However, can it be anything other than my training? I don't have pride to swallow seriously I will admit when I am wrong. I am a very open minded person but this is pretty stressful and constant work.

[Alty]

Re-home him. I won't go into a detailed post about why, but that's my advice to you.

I have a stubborn breed too, much more stubborn, and stupid, than a boxer. I have a beagle. Cute as all get out, but dumber than a post. Training him has been a never ending struggle. But guess what? He's potty trained. I work, so does my husband. But he never has an accident. Why? I work at it every day. I work with him. When someone tells me that I'm not being a good pet owner, I listen!

You're making excuses.

Here's my take on this. You posted here because you wanted someone to tell you that you're not a horrible person because you hate your dog. I agree with that. You're not a horrible person. Neither is the dog. You're just not someone that should have a dog, and that's not a bad thing. Not everyone is cut out for this, it's a lot of work, commitment, and the whole family needs to be on board. It sounds like your family isn't.

You gave it a try and it didn't work. You don't want the dog, you're not willing to put in the work to train the dog, you're busy, and he's ticking you off, you can't stand him, and that's a quote.

He's not even 2. Right now he could be re-homed, and if it's the right home, he could become the dog he's meant to be, and he could be happy. If you keep him it will only get worse, and I know that sounds like criticism. It really isn't. I'm telling you that it's okay for you to give this dog to someone else. I'm not criticizing you. I'm saying that you're right. You shouldn't have a dog. That's not a bad thing. You're not ready for a dog. It's as simple as that.

Read this, and realize that I'm really not trying to be mean. I'm telling you the truth, based on what you wrote. You shouldn't have this dog. You can't handle this dog. You shouldn't have a dog period. Let him be a dog, and learn to be a good dog. Give him that chance. Find him someone that is willing to put in the time and effort. There's no shame in saying you don't have the time, and can't put in the effort. No shame at all.

You're crying because you feel bad for not wanting this dog. But crying about it isn't helping anything. Who suffers the most? The dog. Give him a chance!

[JudyKayTee]

I have a beagle. Cute as all get out, but dumber than a post.

Yes, beagles trump GSDs every day. Beagles do not go to College on scholarships.

[Hennali]

[QUOTE=JudyKayTee;3261862]

I have GSDs. Trust me, Boxers are a walk in the park. Want to talk about locking horns?

Running him 4 times a week isn't enough. He needs to exercise every day.

Just out of curiousity - who suggested juicing for him? I've had dogs my whole life (almost all rescues, many with bad backgrounds, problems with behavior) and I've never heard that one before.

If you don't believe it is at least partially your fault, again, your words, then rehome him to people who will accept that it's all his fault and will work with him.

I've had difficult dogs, dogs that could not be otherwise placed, my whole life. Who is with him when you are working your two jobs and going to school?

I agree with this: "I think it is unfair to our dog." Any other time in your life this could be a wonderful dog for you. He just isn't right now. There's no disgrace in that.

I do think you are overreacting, taking all of this personally. No one said you are a dog abuser. I "adopted" a 7-month old dog that the previous owners could NOT housebreak, no matter what. I didn't have a problem. She was housebroken within the week. Why? I have no idea.

And, yes, I also work - full time.

What do you mean by: "He stays out with guess what no accidents." It would seem he can't "pee and poop" in the house if he's outside. What am I missing?

He stays out of his crate. His crate was taken down. He stays out in our house no accidents. I said I walk him twice a day and he gets a run in four times a week at is all I have time for. I have a hard time believing many people even run with their dogs or even walk them and have seen many who are never outside except to potty that do not have this issue. I believe playing with the dog here everyday for hours is also exercise. I live in a neighborhood so cannot let him run. We taken once or twice a week to run at his parents without a leash because they live in the country. I don't know if exercise is the issue he's in very good shape and the best looking boxer my vet claims he's ever seen. I do agree though he would be better with a place to run everyday. I have read it can be separation anxiety so how would I as his trainer help him with that? During the day we put a radio on if no one is here. But like in the kitchen he is basically two feet from us being in the living room. I am not saying it is not my fault but I do know I do ore for that dog than anyone I know does for their dog but mine has the issue. However, they also have dogs that are a little older.