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    Magpie95's Avatar
    Magpie95 Posts: 97, Reputation: 14
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    #41

    Sep 6, 2012, 06:37 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Alty View Post
    You haven't met stubborn until you've had a beagle. ;)

    All dogs can be "stubborn", according to people. I will admit that some dogs are harder to train than others. Boxers really don't fall into that category. They're actually a very intelligent breed.
    The dog I had before my boxer was a beagle. I LOVE them. Yes, stubborn! Oh gosh. But after he turned two, the best dog ever. I would have another beagle, except I inherited the boxer and bulldog when I moved in with the boyfriend. I love them both. But I still think of my beagle baby all the time. I miss him terribly.
    Hennali's Avatar
    Hennali Posts: 43, Reputation: 4
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    #42

    Sep 6, 2012, 06:42 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Lucky098 View Post
    What about a cable runner? It's not ideal, but you can put him outside without him running at large...
    I have done that but my fiancé thinks someone is going to steal him. I say he's a little paranoid and we live in a really nice neighborhood and have fantastic neighbors. He actually got lose one night and some people we are now friends with because of it took him in all night. Their kids renamed him and wanted to keep him. The family said he was very well behaved and had no accidents, didn't jump on the kids and listened very well. So, there are plans in the future for a fence. It will be winter by the time we have one though! I know no one believes that dogs do things out of anger and here is no evidence but I believe 100 percent dogs get anxiety and do things because of it. My friends dog is fine when they are there but when they leave she has to put her shoes up. Not her kids or her boyfriends. Must hers. They have other dogs and bones and toys. But the one dog will chew her shoes up if she leaves.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #43

    Sep 6, 2012, 06:47 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Hennali View Post
    I have done that but my fiancé thinks someone is going to steal him. I say he's a little paranoid and we live in a really nice neighborhood and have fantastic neighbors. He actually got lose one night and some people we are now friends with bc of it took him in all night. Their kids renamed him and wanted to keep him. The family said he was very well behaved and had no accidents, didn't jump on the kids and listened very well. so, there are plans in the future for a fence. It will be winter by the time we have one though! I know no one believes that dogs do things out of anger and here is no evidence but I believe 100 percent dogs get anxiety and do things bc of it. My friends dog is fine when they are there but when they leave she has to put her shoes up. Not her kids or her boyfriends. Must hers. They have other dogs and bones and toys. But the one dog will chew her shoes up if she leaves.

    My dogs certainly pick up on my emotions, without a doubt. I don't deny that. If I am anxious, they are anxious.

    If you have the time, here's something I wrote about a dog that was absolutely 100% wrong for us, a real training problem: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/blog/a...ee-678813.html

    How did Andi know anything that she knew? I don't know. How do dogs know when someone passes? I don't know.

    Andi knew.
    Magpie95's Avatar
    Magpie95 Posts: 97, Reputation: 14
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    #44

    Sep 6, 2012, 06:48 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    I don't think this is a "boxer" problem. I think this dog thinks he's in charge. How the situation got turned upside down - I have no idea! He tries to get between you and your fiance? He's on top of you in your bed? He "says" "mom mom"? Dogs are not capable of saying, "ha ha." Did you read the thread I posted.

    I have no idea how your dog got to be in charge of your house - but he is.

    I was widowed. I live alone with two dogs. We've been through a lot, the 3 of us. An awful lot. I am in charge. There is no doubt about that, no doubt at all. Dogs are pack animals. Somebody needs to step up and lead the pack.

    Whether or not you can afford it you NEED in home, personal advice. Eventually someone is going to get between you and your dog and it will be a disaster - for both that person and the dog.
    I agree. Dogs need you to be in charge. They will assume the position if you do not take it. You have to be the pack leader. I know that sounds corny, but true.

    That being said, the breed does matter somewhat. As each breed is different in its challenges and maintenance. The more intelligent, the more engaged they need to me. Every type of dog was breed for a purpose, when they don't get to do what is natural for them to do, they can get anxiety and it turns out as chewed shoes or soiled floors. My bulldog, he could care less about going for walks. You could not walk him for weeks, and he is just going to sit there drooling, farting and happy. The boxer, forget it, she will be running up the walls! She MUST be walked regularly. The backyard isn't good enough for her. Dogs are nomadic, and many like to go for walks and smell things, etc. I walk her regularly and she is fine.

    This is why I tell people, if you are going to get a dog, learn about the breed type before you get one. Make sure it suits your lifestyle.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #45

    Sep 6, 2012, 06:54 PM
    Breed does matter, I'm not denying that. I've had many breeds, beagle being the toughest. But, even with the beagle I managed to train to acceptable standards. Is he a perfect dog training wise? No. Is he a good dog? Yes.

    The fact is, boxers really aren't hard to train if you look at breed. They're a smart breed, eager to learn, easy to train.

    Like Judy said, dogs don't hold grudges, dogs don't do things out of spite. That's a human emotion, not a dog emotion. Every singe training issue I've ever encountered, including my own training issues, were due to the human, not the dog, no matter the breed.
    Hennali's Avatar
    Hennali Posts: 43, Reputation: 4
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    #46

    Sep 6, 2012, 07:05 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    I don't think this is a "boxer" problem. I think this dog thinks he's in charge. How the situation got turned upside down - I have no idea! He tries to get between you and your fiance? He's on top of you in your bed? He "says" "mom mom"? Dogs are not capable of saying, "ha ha." Did you read the thread I posted.

    I have no idea how your dog got to be in charge of your house - but he is.

    I was widowed. I live alone with two dogs. We've been through a lot, the 3 of us. An awful lot. I am in charge. There is no doubt about that, no doubt at all. Dogs are pack animals. Somebody needs to step up and lead the pack.

    Whether or not you can afford it you NEED in home, personal advice. Eventually someone is going to get between you and your dog and it will be a disaster - for both that person and the dog.
    He doesn't say haha I meant that's what it looked like. But, he does say mom. There are many boxers on YouTube that do it. I don't know if it is a boxer issue but from what my vet and what I have researched they are stubborn. He gets jealous is how I take it when I kiss and hug my fiancé IMO. I think nick, my fiancé is the leader the dog listens very well to him. He may think he is when he isn't here though. He walks real well right beside me and rarely pulls on the leash even when we run. So if it is an alpha thing when nick isn't here then I guess I need help changing that for sure. He doesn't even get on our bed with an invitation but we do try to make him feel like he's part of our family. We can't afford the training because the only trainer I found here in town is over a thousand dollars and did not get good reviews. I think he's better being trained here with us that is why I am trying to figure out how. When he got owe, I don't know if you saw that post, neighbors took him in and said he was extremely well behaved. They wanted to keep him. He had no accidents and didn't jump.. The issue I am having is when I tell him to leave the kitchen or if he isn't included. It isn't daily. So I guess if it's an aloha thing with me then I need advised on how to change that.
    Hennali's Avatar
    Hennali Posts: 43, Reputation: 4
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    #47

    Sep 6, 2012, 07:07 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    My dogs certainly pick up on my emotions, without a doubt. I don't deny that. If I am anxious, they are anxious.

    If you have the time, here's something I wrote about a dog that was absolutely 100% wrong for us, a real training problem: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/blog/a...ee-678813.html

    How did Andi know anything that she knew? I don't know. How do dogs know when someone passes? I don't know.

    Andi knew.
    I will look at this tomorrow. Thank you if you have the time I will be back tomorrow.
    Magpie95's Avatar
    Magpie95 Posts: 97, Reputation: 14
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    #48

    Sep 6, 2012, 07:30 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Alty View Post
    Breed does matter, I'm not denying that. I've had many breeds, beagle being the toughest. But, even with the beagle I managed to train to acceptable standards. Is he a perfect dog training wise? No. Is he a good dog? Yes.

    The fact is, boxers really aren't hard to train if you look at breed. They're a smart breed, eager to learn, easy to train.

    Like Judy said, dogs don't hold grudges, dogs don't do things out of spite. That's a human emotion, not a dog emotion. Every singe training issue I've ever encountered, including my own training issues, were due to the human, not the dog, no matter the breed.
    My beagle was the toughest for me too! Haha.. little boogers. You got to love 'em.

    Boxers are way easier. Its just a matter of time with any dog. But they are so worth it. Even this snoring bulldog next to me!
    Lucky098's Avatar
    Lucky098 Posts: 2,594, Reputation: 543
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    #49

    Sep 6, 2012, 07:50 PM
    What I see.. really isn't a problem with the dog... I see a problem with the fiancé making it so everyone is comfortable.

    I own althetic sporting breeds.. their energy levels are not too far away from a boxer's energy levels.. and I honestly don't think I would want to spend every waking moment looking at my dog.. Of course you're not satisfying his needs.. dogs NEED to go out and be by themselves. They enjoy taking naps in the sun and rolling in the grass. This is a very tough situation.

    I think the result to solving your problems is getting that fence up. I know I wouldn't patiently wait for my hubby to "get around" to building a fence of some type while the dog was going stir crazy.

    If the fenced in backyard is just not financially possible right now, look in the shop ads of newspapers, craig's list and e-bay and find a kennel run. Many people with no fences will resort to a kennel run snug up tight to the house for free access or easy access for their dog to go outside.

    I do need to point out.. that the majority of people who own athletic dogs, run them until they cannot stand every day.

    I think this comes down to man vs animal. The animal has no choice but to act out. Is he being vengeful? No, dogs don't act like that. Does it seem like it? Very much so. But dogs live their lives minute by minute. They do not hold grudges or act out on it. Will they remember that a specific action will give them something they don't like, via you leaving. Separation anxiety or any type of anxiety is just like a panic attack for people. But, all they know is that you are not home and they don't understand why they didn't get to come with you.

    The first mistake in handling problem dogs is leading yourself into believing that the dog is acting out in anger or is vengeful. Once that idea is out of your head, you'll be able to better handle him.

    As far as his pottying in the house... he's just being naughty and is getting by with it. He also may not be getting out enough.. I know you're busy and have a life to live as well, but he just might not be getting out enough or long enough. I'm going to classify your dog as an "apartment" dog... and those dogs are HARD to live with.. I love my dogs.. would do anything for them.. but even I would have a hard time living with my dog in an apartment and have to be its everything. I enjoy having "me" time, and I'm sure my dog enjoys her outside time where she can do whatever she pleases.. I do sympathize your situation, its not easy.

    I also don't think this is a training problem. You claim that your neighbors had no problems.. well, because he is out of his element and away from stress.. You're home is probably very stressful because you are trying to be who you are and dealing with a high energy dog, basically by yourself... with no outlet to let him just be a dog.

    Just think.. you'd be the perfect advocate on telling people why they should not own a high energy breed in an apartment. :)

    Personally, if I were in your situation.. I'd go buy a cable runner and tell my hubby that if he doesn't like it, he had better fix it. You need to do what's right for you.. and you need to do what's right for the dog. Your home is very stressful right now which is why everything is just toppling onto each other.. Everything he does gets on your nerves.. he doesn't know what to do.. get what I'm saying? Will this relationship ever heal or grow? I don't know.. some people just can't handle a problem dog after things are fixed.. too many bad memories I guess.

    So.. instead of blaming yourself, blaming the dog and threatening to get rid of him.. find an outlet for him to get outside so you can take a break from him. Instead of thinking you are doing everything wrong.. just take a deep breath and realize that this situation is HARD.. especially with a high energy, athletic dog. Either take it with a grain of salt and solve the main issue, which is no outdoor outlet, or suffer through it until your hubby decides its time to build a fence.

    Yes, I'm attacking your hubby.. he is not thinking about either of you. I realize that money is always a problem, and having the time is an even bigger problem, but to do absolutely nothing is just as big of a problem.

    Find a way to solve it.. it may not be ideal, it may not be perfect or even permanent, but to give you and the dog some time to cool off is priceless...

    My friends dog is fine when they are there but when they leave she has to put her shoes up. Not her kids or her boyfriends. Must hers. They have other dogs and bones and toys. But the one dog will chew her shoes up if she leaves.
    Once again.. don't start thinking dogs are vengeful.. Dogs will do very weird things when they are fighting for the alpha slot. This dog is wanting to call the shots.. she is not mad or upset that they left her.. she is just expressing her challenge for alpha leader.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #50

    Sep 6, 2012, 07:56 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Magpie95 View Post
    My beagle was the toughest for me too! Haha..little boogers. You got to love 'em.

    Boxers are way easier. Its just a matter of time with any dog. But they are so worth it. Even this snoring bulldog next to me!
    I hear you. Love my beagle, but boy oh boy. Little bugger. He's the most stubborn dog I've ever known. But he's such a little lovey. Really hard to get mad at him. He's such a sweet dog.

    I also have a 6 month old border collie cross. The beagle is 4 years old. Of the two of, them the border collie, even with the full blown puppy energy, is better behaved. He was easy to train. Smart breed.

    Having said that. The same 6 month old border collie ate one of my shoes today. Do I hate him because of it? Not at all. He's a dog. When he ate the shoe I learned that I haven't spent enough time training him to leave my shoes alone. He didn't do it out of spite. He didn't do it to get back at me for something. He didn't do it because he's upset. He ate the shoe because he's a dog, the shoe was there, and I (the human) haven't spent enough time with him teaching him to leave my shoes alone. That's not his fault. That's mine.
    Hennali's Avatar
    Hennali Posts: 43, Reputation: 4
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    #51

    Sep 7, 2012, 04:39 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    My dogs certainly pick up on my emotions, without a doubt. I don't deny that. If I am anxious, they are anxious.

    If you have the time, here's something I wrote about a dog that was absolutely 100% wrong for us, a real training problem: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/blog/a...ee-678813.html

    How did Andi know anything that she knew? I don't know. How do dogs know when someone passes? I don't know.

    Andi knew.
    Your story brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #52

    Sep 7, 2012, 05:33 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Hennali View Post
    Your story brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing.

    I just wanted you to know that very difficult dogs take extra work - but it does play out in the end.
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    Charmlovesdog Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #53

    Sep 7, 2012, 12:17 PM
    Hi -- I am an avid doggy lover and so I am reading all of the comments with some interest. I also don't understand the attitude in here. I have to agree with the original poster that for some reason when she asked for advice all she is receiving is attention to the fact that she has a love/hate relationship with her dog at the moment.

    Here is what I have experienced: When I was much younger and newly married I wanted a dog. I was not equipped to deal with a dog but I thought that I was. Because I wasn't equipped with the knowledge I needed to make our relationship a good one, there were a myriad of issues and just like the poster above, I ended up having a love/hate relationship with my dog, which I eventually ended up giving to my mother who gave her what I could not at the time. I loved the dog, but the dog had been so much of a problem that there were times I really hated that dog, too. Ultimately the problem was me, but no one told me the key information I needed to get through it all, so now I am going to give the information to the poster that I never got and that I think she is asking for, and I sincerely wish her the absolute best, and I hope this helps her out :o)

    Here's the thing that needs to be done right now: you need to invest in a crate. That crate is going to save your relationship and bring it back into the loving and caring type that both you and your doggie deserve. That crate is going to become your dog's house, his security, and his training tool. Even if he doesn't like the crate at first, and many dogs who haven't been initiated from the start with one have a bit of a struggle at first, but he will eventually come around, I promise, if you persist.

    In the beginning you should only allow your dog out of the crate if you and the dog are going to be playing together or if he is going to receive your constant attention, for feeding, and for going to the bathroom. I would also invest in a long lead and a harness so that when you put the dog out to potty all you need to do is hook his harness to the lead line and it is almost as effective as if you had a fence as long as you don't leave him on it for more than 15 minutes at a time, where it is used for bathroom breaks and not for just "putting the dog outside". You really do need a fence, however, as a lead line is only a temporary fix. And the harness is much more humane as it doesn't pull on his neck.

    So now, you have a crate. Each time you let the dog out of the crate, you should be putting it on the lead to go potty. Then you should bring him in again and play with him for at least 10-15 minutes. Have special toys that you save just for that occasion. For feeding time, let the dog out of the crate and potty him, then feed him, play for 5-10 minutes, and then potty him again, and then put him away. Make sure he has in his crate a favorite blanket, a chew toy such as a rawhide treat that he likes, and a toy to play with. Don't leave him in the crate for more than three hours at a time at first unless you work all day, at which point you should have someone coming and letting him out at midday to play for a while, get water, potty, etc.

    You will find that as time goes by, you can have the times the dog is allowed outside of the crate gets longer and longer until eventually you can leave the crate door open all the time, or nearly so, and have confidence that the dog can be unsupervised for periods without having an accident since you reinforced pottying outside. You should never take that crate away because it is his security, so plan to have it for life. That is why it should be large enough for the dog to be able to turn around freely, but small enough that the dog cannot set aside a spot to go potty, because dogs will normally not potty in their houses. Also, it might be good to get on Amazon and research a good book on dog training. I would recommend 101 Dog Tricks by Kyra Sundance and Chalcy.

    I hope this helps you out and I wish you a long and loving relationship with your doggie! Take care :o)
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #54

    Sep 7, 2012, 12:57 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Charmlovesdog View Post
    Hi -- I am an avid doggy lover and so i am reading all of the comments with some interest. I also don't understand the attitude in here. I have to agree with the original poster that for some reason when she asked for advice all she is receiving is attention to the fact that she has a love/hate relationship with her dog at the moment.

    I will attempt to say this without being offensive and without judging - you've posted twice. Alty and I alone have posted over 65,600 times. Please don't criticize anyone until you have more notches in your belt.

    OP has a crate; OP did practice crate training.

    I agree with your advice. I just have a problem with your opening attitude.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #55

    Sep 7, 2012, 02:41 PM
    I am an avid doggy lover and so I am reading all of the comments with some interest. I also don't understand the attitude in here. I have to agree with the original poster that for some reason when she asked for advice all she is receiving is attention to the fact that she has a love/hate relationship with her dog at the moment.
    Did you read the entire thread? Many times I asked questions that would lead to better advice. Those questions weren't answered. I then asked the poster if she wanted help, that post wasn't answered. I then posted step by step instructions, that post was ignored.

    The fact that she dislikes the dog has a huge part in all of this. Any dog expert can tell you that.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #56

    Sep 7, 2012, 02:45 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Alty View Post
    Did you read the entire thread?

    I never understand why someone comes on AMHD and the very first post criticizes everyone else who has posted. In this case I believe this person has/had a lot to offer but certainly didn't start on the right foot.

    Maybe she's a Vet Tech (or, I guess, a Vet) or a professional trainer (and not someone who works at PetSmart (or wherever), but he/she has no idea who else on her is licensed or trained or works in the profession. Maybe everyone on the pet forums isn't guessing and fumbling around in the dark for an answer.

    And in this case criticizing without reading is not a terribly good idea.

    I'm not saying that posting X times makes someone an expert or a reliable source. I am saying that I'd wait until I saw how things work, what other people post, before I'd start with criticism.

    Over and out.
    Hennali's Avatar
    Hennali Posts: 43, Reputation: 4
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    #57

    Sep 7, 2012, 06:21 PM
    Thank you everyone for your help. I did feel at first that everyone was just judging from one thing I stated which was I can't stand my dog. It is a love/hate relationship. However, what I mentioned throughout the rest of the posts was all the things we do for him and how smart he is. I believe now from speaking with a trainer today and his vet is that it is stress. As I stated we had big changes in his routine because a whole family with another dog moved in. I did have a crate and weaned him out and took it down a week ago. I will now put it back up from the advice of charmlovesdog. There were some folks who came in without reading all the posts and I had to repeat myself. I was defensive because I was asking for advice and I was getting it is the owners fault (I do agree) but without any training advice. Some said he wasn't potty trained, but I made it apparent he was, for a very long time, in the first few posts. I was also very upset and didn't include much about how good of a dog he usually is and that this isn't something that has been going on all along.m something disrupted his routine and made him stress. I know some are not of the opinion that he can do things out of anger. I believe he can and does maybe not towards me but if he is upset or stressed he reacts. Both trainer and vet said it is entirely possible he is stressed or upset about the new dog more kids taking attention away from him. I will from now on put him in his crate while cooking and eating dinner because for some reason this is when it happens. I don't think dogs hold grudges because my dog loves me like crazy. I know one was under the assumption he thinks he runs my household, and after spending the whole day with him and trainer and vet then back home I definitely disagree. I was calm he was calm. Magpie mentioned the energy and perhaps cooking dinner and cleaning with all the new members in the family has me stressed to the max. So, I agree it has been me. I don't think he should be regimes, in fact I was told how wonderful of a job I am doing with him today. He sits, rolls over, lays down, speaks, says mom, you can make him sit outside (by front door inside) and he won't move till you clap your hands. I can set a treat on top of his nose and he wnt eat it tilli clap my hands. I am thankful for all the responses I got. I appreciate it. I just wish some of you would not just jump to conclusion from one thing I said. Alty, I am sincerely sorry I didn't see your post I was trying to respond but the responses came fast lol it was unintentional. I am definitely better today. I had an extremely bad day with him yesterday and I am seeking the help of others as well as researching. I already read a book and have worked with him. If you read all the posts even in the beginning you can see I was trying to explain the good of our relationship. I am not reforming him he's right where he needs to be and I will work on myself and try to breath through the bad days. Thank you all so much.
    Hennali's Avatar
    Hennali Posts: 43, Reputation: 4
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    #58

    Sep 7, 2012, 06:26 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Hennali View Post
    Thank you everyone for your help. I did feel at first that everyone was just judging from one thing I stated which was I can't stand my dog. It is a love/hate relationship. However, what I mentioned throughout the rest of the posts was all the things we do for him and how smart he is. I believe now from speaking with a trainer today and his vet is that it is stress. As I stated we had big changes in his routine bc a whole family with another dog moved in. I did have a crate and weaned him out and took it down a week ago. I will now put it back up from the advice of charmlovesdog. There were some folks who came in without reading all the posts and I had to repeat myself. I was defensive bc I was asking for advice and I was getting it is the owners fault (I do agree) but without any training advice. Some said he wasn't potty trained, but I made it apparent he was, for a very long time, in the first few posts. I was also very upset and didn't include much about how good of a dog he usually is and that this isn't something that has been going on all along.m something disrupted his routine and made him stress. I know some are not of the opinion that he can do things out of anger. I believe he can and does maybe not towards me but if he is upset or stressed he reacts. Both trainer and vet said it is entirely possible he is stressed or upset about the new dog more kids taking attention away from him. I will from now on put him in his crate while cooking and eating dinner because for some reason this is when it happens. I don't think dogs hold grudges bc my dog loves me like crazy. I know one was under the assumption he thinks he runs my household, and after spending the whole day with him and trainer and vet then back home I definetly disagree. I was calm he was calm. Magpie mentioned the energy and perhaps cooking dinner and cleaning with all the new members in the family has me stressed to the max. So, I agree it has been me. I don't think he should be regimes, in fact I was told how wonderful of a job I am doing with him today. He sits, rolls over, lays down, speaks, says mom, you can make him sit outside (by front door inside) and he won't move till you clap your hands. I can set a treat on top of his nose and he wnt eat it tilli clap my hands. I am thankful for all the responses I got. I appreciate it. I just wish some of you would not just jump to conclusion from one thing I said. Alty, i am sincerely sorry I didn't see your post I was trying to respond but the responses came fast lol it was unintentional. I am definetly better today. I had an extremely bad day with him yesterday and I am seeking the help of others as well as researching. I already read a book and have worked with him. If you read all the posts even in the beginning you can see I was trying to explain the good of our relationship. I am not reforming him he's right where he needs to be and I will work on myself and try to breath through the bad days. Thank you all so much.
    My grammar is poor I mean re home when it states regimes and reforming.. darn auto correct:)
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #59

    Sep 7, 2012, 06:28 PM
    Alty, I am sincerely sorry I didn't see your post I was trying to respond but the responses came fast lol it was unintentional. I am definitely better today. I had an extremely bad day with him yesterday and I am seeking the help of others as well as researching. I already read a book and have worked with him. If you read all the posts even in the beginning you can see I was trying to explain the good of our relationship. I am not reforming him he's right where he needs to be and I will work on myself and try to breath through the bad days. Thank you all so much.
    Things can move quickly here, I get that.

    I wasn't upset with you. I was upset with that poster. I did do my best, and you either didn't see my posts, or didn't reply to them. No worries. The written word sucks as a form of communication.

    I'm glad that you're working with him, and my offer still stands. If you want help, I'm willing to give it. I'm just a post away. I may have questions, and those questions are never because I'm a nosy person, it's because I need those answers to help you and the dog. I may not give a solution right away, not until I know what I need to know, but if you work with me, and promise to work with your dog, I'll work with you. That's my promise to you. :)

    Now, let's get to a brighter note. Can we see a picture of this fur baby? If you go to the dog forum page there's a sticky (a permanent thread) on how to post pictures. If you're don't want to, that's fine. If you do and can't figure it out, post and tell me, and I'll post a link. :)
    Hennali's Avatar
    Hennali Posts: 43, Reputation: 4
    Junior Member
     
    #60

    Sep 7, 2012, 06:28 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Charmlovesdog View Post
    Hi -- I am an avid doggy lover and so i am reading all of the comments with some interest. I also don't understand the attitude in here. I have to agree with the original poster that for some reason when she asked for advice all she is receiving is attention to the fact that she has a love/hate relationship with her dog at the moment.

    Here is what I have experienced: When I was much younger and newly married I wanted a dog. I was not equipped to deal with a dog but I thought that I was. Because I wasn't equipped with the knowledge I needed to make our relationship a good one, there were a myriad of issues and just like the poster above, I ended up having a love/hate relationship with my dog, which I eventually ended up giving to my mother who gave her what I could not at the time. I loved the dog, but the dog had been so much of a problem that there were times I really hated that dog, too. Ultimately the problem was me, but no one told me the key information I needed to get through it all, so now I am going to give the information to the poster that I never got and that I think she is asking for, and I sincerely wish her the absolute best, and I hope this helps her out :o)

    Here's the thing that needs to be done right now: you need to invest in a crate. That crate is going to save your relationship and bring it back into the loving and caring type that both you and your doggie deserve. That crate is going to become your dog's house, his security, and his training tool. Even if he doesn't like the crate at first, and many dogs who haven't been initiated from the start with one have a bit of a struggle at first, but he will eventually come around, I promise, if you persist.

    In the beginning you should only allow your dog out of the crate if you and the dog are going to be playing together or if he is going to receive your constant attention, for feeding, and for going to the bathroom. I would also invest in a long lead and a harness so that when you put the dog out to potty all you need to do is hook his harness to the lead line and it is almost as effective as if you had a fence as long as you don't leave him on it for more than 15 minutes at a time, where it is used for bathroom breaks and not for just "putting the dog outside". You really do need a fence, however, as a lead line is only a temporary fix. And the harness is much more humane as it doesn't pull on his neck.

    So now, you have a crate. Each time you let the dog out of the crate, you should be putting it on the lead to go potty. Then you should bring him in again and play with him for at least 10-15 minutes. Have special toys that you save just for that occasion. For feeding time, let the dog out of the crate and potty him, then feed him, play for 5-10 minutes, and then potty him again, and then put him away. Make sure he has in his crate a favorite blanket, a chew toy such as a rawhide treat that he likes, and a toy to play with. Don't leave him in the crate for more than three hours at a time at first unless you work all day, at which point you should have someone coming and letting him out at midday to play for a while, get water, potty, etc.

    You will find that as time goes by, you can have the times the dog is allowed outside of the crate gets longer and longer until eventually you can leave the crate door open all the time, or nearly so, and have confidence that the dog can be unsupervised for periods without having an accident since you reinforced pottying outside. You should never take that crate away because it is his security, so plan to have it for life. That is why it should be large enough for the dog to be able to turn around freely, but small enough that the dog cannot set aside a spot to go potty, because dogs will normally not potty in their houses. Also, it might be good to get on Amazon and research a good book on dog training. I would recommend 101 Dog Tricks by Kyra Sundance and Chalcy.

    I hope this helps you out and I wish you a long and loving relationship with your doggie! Take care :o)
    Thank you for the advice. I did crate train him but thought he didn't need it because he never has accidents. I believe he was stressed because it was within an hour of each other and his bowels just started going. I will take your advice and put it back up though that may be a contributing factor to his stress:)

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