[Sign Of Hope]

I'm a 20 year old male. I Finished high school at 18. I've been sitting at home doing nothing but playing video games, watching movies, TV shows. Just nothing really for about 2 years. I don't have any friends. I've been fighting depression all my life. I was raised around people who care about me. I have a loving family and people around me that care. But I feel like I just don't care to do anything. I have no hope in life. I dated a girl for a year an a half. She told me I needed to get my life together. I loved her with all my heart But even she couldn't push me to get my life straight. She left me and I was put in a hospital for depression. I'm a very shy person and I'm honestly scared to grow up... I know I need to. But I just can't seem to do it. I have a car but I don't even know how to drive. I have people here to teach me but I just won't do it. Idk what's wrong with me. I can't push myself to do it. I'm just sad all the time. I don't feel like there's a way to be happy. I know people will say suck it up or just do it. But I'm being serious. I have no motivation at all to live. I've tried talking to doctors and everything. I'm just scared and depressed. I don't have anything that I out there to look forward to. I see no happiness in my life. I just don't want to live anymore. The only thing I can think of that I want in life is love. But I don't really see that happening. Im a good looking guy. I've always dated great looking girls. But I'm like 5'9 and I weight around 180pounds. I'm going to start working out. Hopefully that will push me to do more and have more energy. But I don't really feel like leaving. I guess all I can say is if anyone can help please comment. It would mean a lot.

[smoothy]

Well you can start by getting off your butt and getting a job... any job. And put down the damn videogames.

If you are working you don't have time to lay around feeling bad for yourself.

Life doesn't hand you everything... THat ended when you became an adult. If you want something you have to earn it.

That applies to friends, girlfriends and everything else. If you aren't willing to make the effort to earn it then you don't deserve it.

So start with find a job... any job and do what's required of you and then some more. Work hard to be the best at what you do and you won't have time to feel sorry for yourself. Relise you are part of the world... and that the world doesn't revolve around you. You are going to miss the train if you don't step on it.

And you can overcome shyness that way too. Shy people as well as lazy people spend too much time thinking about themselves... and not enough about the things they need to focus on.

And yes... I did overcome shyness in my youth through sheer determination and willpower. Its all been nothing but a memory for a very long tme now.

[Sign Of Hope]

It's not that easy. I guess I just don't deserve it. Thanks for making me feel more worthless.

[smoothy]

It's not that easy. I guess I just don't deserve it. Thanks for making me feel more worthless.

I never said it was easy... everything worth having takes an effort. There are no easy ways to do it.

[mogrann]

I seen you post that you were in the hospital for depression. Have you been following your treatment plan that was given to you when you left the hospital? Are you taking your medications (if you were put on any)?
What is one thing you can work on today to do? Start with baby steps and do the thing 100%. For example: Looking for a job. Now break that down into baby steps. These may be different for you. 1. Decide on what types of jobs you want. 2. Make your resume. 3. Apply for jobs Make sure when you do these that you are not in emotional mind as that will make things much harder. If you are just do some mindfulness to bring your mind back to wise mind. Breathing is my favorite exercise. I do just this breath in, just this breath out and concentrate on my breathing. If my mind wanders I acknowledge it and bring it back to the breathing. No judgements it happened.
You may want to find someone to talk to that can help you figure things out.
I am speaking from experience that getting better can be done, it is hard work but possible.

[Wondergirl]

I'm willing to help you with, like mogrann said about baby steps, putting together a killer resume, do job hunting, maybe do a volunteer job (animal shelter, library, nursing home), and whatever else might float your boat. I await your response.

[Sign Of Hope]

Thank you morgann and Wondergirl. I have been taking my meds, but I haven't been following my treatment they want me to talk to someone.. But I haven't done that yet.

[Wondergirl]

You're talking to US. :)

[D220]

Same predicament dude except I have a job(minwage of course) and I'm female.