[Justin101]

I've been dating my girlfriend for about 10 months, before me she had this guy she was absuletly obsessed with everything revolved around him, then we started and it was going great till I found out he was calling and txtn her telling her he still loved her and wants her back and everything she wanted to hear after he treated her like and abused her and still to this day his doing it after we moved to a different state together she said she would change her number but she never dose she used to compare me to him and call me his name, recently she told me she still thinks about him all the time she says she dose not love him but I can see she dose, she says she loved me but I feel I'm just there because I treat her better then he did, I feel we should break up but I love her so much the thought just kills me , I'd rather be her backup then nothing to her at all . Am I screwed up?

[ITstudent2006]

You're not screwed up at all. You can't help the way she acts or feels.

I think you need to re-evaluate this relationship and seriously consider whether you can keep doing this.

Have you spoken with your GF and explained how it makes you feel?

[Justin101]

Yea I have told her but she thinks I'm been dramatic and she don't have anything for him I should just trust her

[ITstudent2006]

Can I ask how old the two of you are?

[Justin101]

Yea I have told her she says I'm been dramatic and she's over her ex

[Justin101]

23

[bigNavySeal]

I agree with ITstudent that you are not screwed up at all. Actually, you're being very reasonable. 10 months into your relationship, add several months, it has been over a year since they broke up. Who did the breaking up. He or she?

Even though in the initial relationship phase past experiences with exes play roles in topics of discussion, at a certain point it should have been talked through and put to rest. You start focusing on each other, and make your own relationship and bonding together. The fact that she has called you his name is very thoughtless and rude of her. Also saying she still thinks about him all the time is not a good sign.

In my opinion you cannot and should not stay friends/be in touch with your ex until AT LEAST you are both mature enough to accept that the relationship is OVER. Clearly he isn't, and I wouldn't tolerate the fact that she until today is STILL reciprocating his phone calls and text messages. This should have been nipped in the bud by her long ago through ignoring/cutting all forms of contact, until AT LEAST it is clear to him that their relationship is over, besides the fact that she already has a new boyfriend! Over a year she still hasn't. If she doesn't agree with you on this it tells me she isn't over him yet.

[ITstudent2006]

Very well stated BigNavySeal. The OP's girlfriend is clearly showing signs that she is not over her ex yet.