[tlcunhappy]

I've never gone on a web site before to get advice so here goes. My boyfriend of 4 years left a few months ago. The night he left he told me he was confused, that his head was telling him one thing and his heart was telling him another. I had no idea up to this point that there was anything wrong. He was still loving and caring and made me feel cherished. The past four years were wonderful. We had ups and downs like any normal relationship. But I never saw that he was unhappy. Well I found out the night he left he went straight to another women's house. Three days later her broke it off for good saying he doesn't love me anymore and that there was nothing to fight for. Blamed me for the reason why he left, like I didn't let him sleep late on days off and asking him to do everything. I see now that I did ask a lot but he never said no even when I asked if he didn't want to. The thing is I know how much he loved me. He would show me in a hundred different ways everyday. Personally I think this woman saw something she wanted and went after it with no regard to the relatioship he was already in. He won't talk about it to anyone but I know he talked to her about us. I guess my question is, how do I give up on what we had? Should I leave it be and see if this rebound thing ends? I currently have no contact with him. One day he called me pissed off because I told him I knew he didn't want anything to do with me and he told me to call him anytime I wanted too. Two days later he says that he wants me out of his life. I guess I'm just confused on how he could give up on what we had. I know the grass isn't always greener and that he will see that but in the meaqntime how do I let go?

[Homegirl 50]

Girl leave the guy alone. Chances are he had been seeing this woman for a while. Be glad he's gone.

[Magpie95]

Unfortunately, when people are looking for a way out, they look at their partner for an excuse. It is easier if it is the other person's fault. This is really common. It takes a long time before the person can be honest with themselves that it was them that changed... if they every can get to that point.

Sounds to me like he was looking for any reason to leave and go be with this other person. The reasons he gave you are very loose and petty. That is typical of a person taking this tactic. It is the cowards way of breaking up, but it happens surprisingly a lot.

As for now, work on moving on. The way he is behaving is not respectful of your feelings. And it can only serve to prolong pain and make it harder for you to let go.

[Alty]

Leave it be, stop thinking about him, and move on.

He left you because he found something better. He may not be with that woman anymore, but you are not what he wants, and he made that clear when he went looking for something else.

He's a jerk. He blamed you for the relationship ending, said it was because you wouldn't let him sleep late, and asked him to do stuff? Bull! What a jerk! It takes two to make a relationship work, and two to make it fail. He's just as much to blame, and frankly, if he wants someone that will let him sleep all day, while he sits around picking his underwear out of his arse, is that what you want? No love is that great.

You can do better than this guy. So much better.