[Wondergirl]

Haha see just expressing ..helped me in giving short answer .. Thats all what i wanted acknowledgement...Not accepting if something hits me in and around... I wud them I I'd sabre wand then try to smile I will omake a reminder about it.....

I want to hear a progress report every day. Short and concise report. Positive with improvements. :)

[Oka ammayi]

Oh great thanks... I would have married a computer if I knew this...

[Wondergirl]

Oh great thanks.....I wud have married a computer if I knew this...

I thought that would give you good practice. :)

[Oka ammayi]

Hey.. I just passed my learners permit test... I was studying al night while I was talking to u.. and posting... and I am glad I passed... not because I passed... But just because I really was studying.. I was not ill focused as diagnosied... I donnow I want to be that way may be.. but am not super excited and happy cause I couldn't share it with my husband as usual... We used to be great for everything... When my fish had responded in my fish tank we celebrated... may be crazy but now it's such an imp thing but I don't like it even if it's in my favour...

So my report is I passed and am focusing on driving... but stilll I long to take things to a better place and am thankful that u care for my progress...

[Oka ammayi]

I swam and cleaned up and booked hotel and car for trip... and still thinking how to get things normal... what do you think progress looks like I am still waiting on...
I can't feel all right because I am still far from the point... needing a closure... regarding all my posts and alll responses were focus on my stuff I did that I don't feel any better... to be able to get a closure on things needs enough participation on eacones side... I still don't understand why was I told to focus and carry on with my things... how is it going to solve the issue I mentioned... how and who will stand on my side and see through my eyes.. Is it wrong to expect that . Even if I have expressed it... even if I requested it.. Even when I am out of all options except to understand what's going on from my side... Even after all possible appeal and effort if no one is taking my side how can be focusing my job or hobbies or the food I am going to cook... Ok once I am done with all those what's going to change...

[talaniman]

Have you seen your primary physician, just to rule out any medical, hormonal causes that may affect your perspective of things? The whole goal is to be able to properly communicate your ideas and have the necessary tools to cope with your reality in a realistic way.

You have to change your approach to change his reaction to you. Your way doesn't seem to work very well to be honest. No we are not against you. We just know you cannot change others, just yourself.

Now about that primary physician appointment. How soon can that happen?

[Oka ammayi]

I have checked for appointment.. It's going to take more than a month... now I have an incident To tell..
There are 2 men working...
Man A was digging wholes.. . and there was a man B who was filling those pits... This was going on for quite sometime... there came another man who was watching this... he just asked what's going on.. Why is he digging and why are you filing them up... then they answered there was another man who was supposed to plant a tree in that small pit...
So if one person that is associated. Doesent get in track that is going to degrade or even destroy the whole purpose of the other persons efforts... like man A... so any one who decides to respond to this situation doesent tell man A to dig better and don't bother about others... At the same time if man A stops digging cause it's not doing any difference... it is also not a valid solution..

The thing I want to infer here in my situation is me and my husband are there doing things... and if I don't involve and heck up and standup for the whole purpose... (in our case he doesn't spent time to talk about things that's important or talk heart to heart, and get depressed really fast for even small things.. )... and If I. Expect him to standup for things and help me get over (like helping me getting up in morning and anything else that he thinks that will make our lives better.. ) and I have been trying to talk about it and come to common terms and I couldn't do it As expected.. I could not come to common grounds.. with my husband... and I don't want to give up on him.. . cause I believed giving up will only gives us a conclusion not a solution.. I am disturbed and looked for help I typed my questions and influences.
.. And all I get to hear
Is my perception is wrong... or
I am I'll focused.. I am more bothered.. I am not fixing up my things...
I donnow.. Now I want to question the analysis and diagnosis... even now I am asking question to understand other side perception... and expecting the other person involved to do is a basic requirement for me... I hope some legitimate response comes up..

[talaniman]

The results you want may take YEARS to even make progress on and patience, hope and faith are a key part of any couple building a life together. For now though the problem is you trying to hard and being frustrated with the results so far.

[JudyKayTee]

As expected ..I could not come to common grounds ..with my husband ...and I don't want to give up on him. ..cause I believed giving up will only gives us a conclusion not a solution.. I am disturbed and looked for help I typed my questions and influences. .. And all I get to hear
is my perception is wrong....or I am I'll focused .. I am more bothered ..I am not fixing up my things .... I donnow .. Now I wanna question the analysis and diagnosis...even now I am asking question to understand other side perception...and expecting the other person involved to do is a basic requirement for me....I hope some legitimate response comes up..

I think you sum your thinking up right at the top (here):"As expected I could not come to common grounds."

You expect to fail.

These have been legitimate responses. The fact that you don't agree doesn't take away from that.

What would you consider a "legitimate response" to be?

[Oka ammayi]

The response that I don't understand is... How does it help if am told to do things.. (which I already have been doing may be I was not doing to a level that I used to do when I was happy).. like have a hobby clean up house cook and bake is going to change the perceptions better from my husbands or my parents point... that's where the response doesent make a sense to me... that's y I mentioned a story... If asking man A dig the wholes in a better way.. Is not going to make a tree grow by it self... What I am standing up here's that his effort has to be projected important... for future development..
As a person to upgrade myself I have a thought but I lack effort... which I accepted because I identified for better meant of our lives... and I expect him to do the same and he doesent even identify the need to connect.. and have a conversation that is heart to heart for a family to be stable... he doesent realise the power of positivity and connectivity... and me standing up for is considered my ill focus doesent appeal to me as a response... can u really read and empathise...
It's the same my husband told me as well... that my thinking is way up here I donnow that doesent make any appreciation or acknowledgement for my thought process.. The only way I take it.. It's causing a distance between us which is left like that.. That distance needs some effort to fill up and to be on same page.. Why is that need to fillup and to be on the same page is considered my ill focuses... I really need to understand.. Where am I blocking u and how

[talaniman]

Its not man A's responsibility or concern what men B, or C do with the holes he digs, but he must dig them or HE isn't doing HIS job, right?

So with you and your husband, stop trying to make him do his job, and focus on your own that makes you a happy person. I mean even with your family you throw so much emotions that I doubt they have time to process and adjust or even understand what the hell you are saying and I don't either some times.

That's why you get defensive reactions, as that's quite irritable to be honest, to deal with some one who is constantly throwing hard to understand words at them. Or worse, stories with unconnected ideas, and preconceived ideas.

I would speculate that your husband is frustrated himself, and NEEDS some space to your constant pushing. You really could benefit greatly I think with more outlets to your energy, and imagination.

Sometimes my dear,we have to accept the way people are and accept they may never do as we want them too.

[Oka ammayi]

I clearly understood what you meant... All I am saying is I could have used this time and response from them both my husband and parents... I donnow may be I want to prove to them that if getting consumed by everyday chaos will give an output like me so identifying though that means tagging me as nagger or something... if they at least did this when I needed may be I wouldn't have been this way... Or if they start acting now may be I will start diminishing m y inner rage... now you know that how will they know this is what going on with me... unless I tell them or the other way for them to know is when I tip off. From my burden and break or die...
Tell me trying to belong to someone is a basic need isn't it? That tooo to a family

And coming to the solution I absolutely agree that I need to dig wholes... as man A cause that what I do.. But I do it for a purpose isn't it? Standing up for the purpose doesn't need to standup against my people can you even understand what's that doing to me... If the plants are not planted what's the whole point... Focusing on my digging skills is definitely that I am going to do or may be even I am doing... But who will assure me that my purpose is being completed... If someone doesent do it how is it wrong to go for it myself?.
And it's not irrelevant.. Cause if examples doesent simplify things tell me what will??
I tried that too.. People had a tough time understanding it and said I talk too much.. And if I give examples I am called irrelevant speaker god I donnow
My plan is if I. Loose I want people to know why s that they don't loose... I love people.. and if I manage to survive this they the,selves will understand... I thought help is something that I can use,.
And letting my energy out I am doing everything else but I can't stop this or I can't let this be this way or I can't live with it that some one I call family doesent even know what's in my heart... believe me I am doing things still I wish I am a robot... To satisfy every therapist and to make them happy that their therapy is working... ia sorry I don't mean it to you but it's something I have in my heart... I wanted to stop at my comments towards therapist but again I don't wanted to be rude I just want them to know... mso this is what I do... I don't understand how's it wrong... If I don't say sorry then I would have been rude and wrong... if they don't take time to process and if it is effecting me how's it my fault to stand against it.. how can I do it without giving up on them