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tinkerbell77 · Mar 7, 2007, 09:43 AM

Hello,
I just have a question that I wanted to push out and see if anyone has any advise or knowledge in this area. I have full custody of my two kids. I have for 6 years. There father has been in and out of there lives for the last 6 years. He is suppose to only have 30 days of visitation during the summer due to his frequient moves. He moved closer, but is still 2 hours away and wanted them every other weekend. I thought it was worth a shot, cause the kids need to know there dad. They didn't do well with it at first. But as it has now been 9 months to a year they are doing better with it. We never got it in writing, just a verbal agreement. He now petitioned the courts for 50/50. From what I've heard, the courts are all for this kind of agreement for every child. My fear is that the kids aren't ready for that big of a jump, since they just got use to every other weekend. And my other known fear is he is doing this for money purposes. He tried this once about 3 years ago and it was because he wanted a break in child support, but didn't really want to take them. Has any one gone threw the system for custody before? And do you know what the odds are?

ScottGem · Mar 7, 2007, 09:49 AM

If the kids are school age, then he is unlikely to get 50/50 custody. The only weay a court would agree to that is if he lived in the same school district. But they are not likely to allow the kids to be pulled from school.

What he might get is summers and alternating holidays. You will need to go to the court and make sure they understand they full situation. But, by giving him every other weekend, and having him be consistent in that for close to a year, the court is like to formalize that and maybe add some more.

Fr_Chuck · Mar 7, 2007, 09:55 AM

Yes and courts are not for any one plan for (every) child. I would say without good facts now, but from the people I know who have been divorced and have custody the 50/50 is not the most common, esp for school age children

But again your court and your location can be different

tinkerbell77 · Mar 7, 2007, 10:32 AM

Thanks for the input... Do you know what your people have typically gotten? My thought is every other weekend, splitting holiday's and summer break. But I'm just unsure what the thoughts of the court would be since we have rarly lived in the same state. I'm hoping with his location being 2 hours away that the kids can still have the stability of being at my house during the school year with out having to worry about travel time on a school day.

ScottGem · Mar 7, 2007, 10:56 AM

As Chuck and I said, it would be extremely rare for a court to disrupt school. So I doubt you have to worry about that.

darntootin · Mar 7, 2007, 07:53 PM

In cali. The use of ratios such as 50/50 can be used in laymen terms to discuss legal custody or physical custody. I agree you have nothing to worry about in keeping pretty much the same amount of time with kids due to schooling and your role as the custodial parent. Such is handled during mediation by court provided "" professionals prior to setting an actual court case to force things one way or the other. With legal 50/50 it would be understood that both parties have say in education, and medical stuff. Maybe you don't want to give that up if you have sole legal custody?
Tell the guy to come see kids whenever you two can aggree on it but forget about an increase in legal custody or an increase on paper of the physical time. If he really wants to see kids then that should be good enough. Could be he is under some false impression that the legal custody ratio has something to do with support amounts he will owe which is untrue... least in cali anyway.

tinkerbell77 · Mar 8, 2007, 07:32 AM

Darntootin, to answer your reply. He is for sure they will reduce his child support. That is why he wants more time. They do reduce it a little in our state. But not by much... It's more based off your income. And he keeps trying to quit jobs and get lower paying jobs to reduce it as well. Just trying to work the system. That's why I some times wonder if he really wants to be with the kids or if it's just about money?
We do have court set up this month. So hopefully it all works out in the end. It sounds like from most of the replys that he won't interrupt there school year. And that was my main concern. Thanks for your help!

darntootin · Mar 8, 2007, 03:51 PM

Yes, visit time effects support amounts but probably not near as much as he is hoping for. I was referring to the legal custody as not effecting the support. Here they figure percentage of time, and both parties income/expendatures to come to guideline amount. In the end expendatures can be flat out ignored as kids well being is utmost in courts mind. Doesn't matter how much the paying party is paying on vehicles or houses, etc. They are forced to make life changes as fast as they can blink an eye.