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redlipsticklena · Aug 18, 2012, 05:24 PM

What is possibility there's human born with NO sexuality at all? Like they has been skipped over for this part of human experiences :( I am adult woman no experiences. But every one says just wait and see. But wouldn't you know by my age what your sexuality is? Sigh

Okay if you are attracted to both sexes but no 'desire' to search out either one for any kind of relations is that no sexuality or something else?

Some people do not care about this and do not want label. But I do. I like to know where fits/belong if anywhere at all. Look like more and more I fit nowhere at all. Ty

redlipsticklena · Aug 18, 2012, 05:26 PM

Oh sorry this should have been put in 'adult sexuality.' sorry

Alty · Aug 18, 2012, 06:06 PM

So you're saying that you have no sexual urges at all? You're attracted to both men and women, but you have no desire for a relationship with either?

Some people have a low sex drive, or take medication that lowers their sex drive. You could very well fall into that category. But, the fact that you stat that you're attracted to people, you just don't make a move on any of them, it sounds to me like you're shy, or scared.

How old are you?

Wondergirl · Aug 18, 2012, 06:15 PM

Yes, It is. I know a bunch of people with Asperger's (mostly males) who are asexual, meaning sex is at the bottom of their list of things to think about and to do. They don't "get" dirty or r-rated jokes, they are not good kissers or romancers, they don't date, they have problems knowing how to find a date and with the social aspects of dating, would rather clean out the garage or read a book or bake a cake than think about or have sex.

You are in good company.

redlipsticklena · Aug 18, 2012, 07:03 PM

Originally Posted by Alty

So you're saying that you have no sexual urges at all? You're attracted to both men and women, but you have no desire for a relationship with either?

Some people have a low sex drive, or take medication that lowers their sex drive. You could very well fall into that category. But, the fact that you stat that you're attracted to people, you just don't make a move on any of them, it sounds to me like you're shy, or scared.

How old are you?

Hello.

I am saying that I just uses masturbation anytime I get curious and that seem to make it 'okay' that I am not going out looking for relationships with man or woman. I mostly gets turned on by men. Some of my family away wants to know what's wrong with me and why I keep living alone but I have no answers. They says it's not normal and women want to have babies and marriage. I am 32. Sometime I want to have marriage (with a male) but I do not have any 'drive' to go look for males. I do not believe it will work out anyway too much of a freak.

redlipsticklena · Aug 18, 2012, 07:06 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Yes, It is. I know a bunch of people with Asperger's (mostly males) who are asexual, meaning sex is at the bottom of their list of things to think about and to do. They don't "get" dirty jokes, they are not good kissers or romancers, they ddon't date, they have problems knowing how to find a date and with the social aspects of dating, would rather clean out the garage or read a book or bake a cake than think about or have sex.

You are in good company.

Sigh. Well I also do not understand really how to 'get dates' no one ever explain it to me. Those AS men is different. They don't see nothing wrong with the way they are. I do. They are happy reading book or baking cakes which I like doing that too but I still know I am not living normal life like other women's my age. Those men must know the same thing and maybe are in denial something is wrong with them. Mostly all my old friends is married with kids or divorce. They are not single for life like me.

Alty · Aug 18, 2012, 07:10 PM

Originally Posted by redlipsticklena

hello.

i am saying that i just uses masturbation anytime i get curious and that seem to make it 'okay' that i am not going out looking for relationships with man or woman. i mostly gets turned on by men. some of my family away wants to know whats wrong with me and why i keep living alone but i have no answers. they says it's not normal and women want to have babies and marriage. i am 32. sometime i want to have marriage (with a male) but i do not have any 'drive' to go look for males. i do not beleive it will work out anyways too much of a freak.

You're not a freak. There are many people on this Earth that feel exactly the way you do.

I am asking questions because I really don't believe that you're not sexual. You masturbate. Do you do that for sexual satisfaction? There's really no other reason to do so. If you weren't sexual you wouldn't want sexual satisfaction.

It sounds to me like you don't know what you prefer. You're attracted to men and women, but you have a family that won't accept you being a lesbian, so you choose to deny yourself the pleasure of sexual contact. This is just a guess based on what you've written. If you're honest with me, I can do my best to give you more than a guess.

I really don't think you lack sexuality. I think you lack the confidence to figure out what you want, and to go for it. I think you're afraid.

Wondergirl · Aug 18, 2012, 07:18 PM

Originally Posted by redlipsticklena

those AS men is different. they dont see nothing wrong with the way they are. I do.

The AS women feel the same way as the men. One of my AS women friends married, but she and her husband live together in a house like friends, not as husband and wife. I suspect sex and romance are not big deals in a marriage with an AS partner.

Wondergirl · Aug 18, 2012, 07:20 PM

Originally Posted by redlipsticklena

mostly all my old friends is married with kids or divorce. they are not single for life like me.

They aren't AS, are they. If they were, they probably would not be married and have kids or a house and a picket fence.

Alty · Aug 18, 2012, 07:30 PM

I'm still doubting that this is a matter of being AS. The OP masturbates for sexual pleasure. To me that shows she's not AS.

Wondergirl · Aug 18, 2012, 07:33 PM

Originally Posted by Alty

I'm still doubting that this is a matter of being AS. The OP masturbates for sexual pleasure. To me that shows she's not AS.

She has been diagnosed AS. Masturbation is a whole different thing -- no social signals need to be sent out or social cues responded to.

Alty · Aug 18, 2012, 07:34 PM

Okay, I missed the post that stated she was diagnosed AS. I only saw the post were you stated she could be. Did I miss something?

Wondergirl · Aug 18, 2012, 07:38 PM

I didn't state she could be. She is. I am telling her about all the AS people I know who have the same problem she does with dating and marriage. She is not alone. If she would attend group get-togethers with other AS people, she will find out she is not alone in thinking this way.

Alty · Aug 18, 2012, 07:39 PM

I read back. I want to ask the OP to clarify. When she says AS does she mean Aspergers syndrome, or asexual?

Wondergirl · Aug 18, 2012, 07:40 PM

Asperger's Syndrome. She has had other threads where she mentioned this.

Alty · Aug 18, 2012, 07:40 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I didn't state she could be. She is. I am telling her about all the AS people I know who have the same problem she does with dating and marriage. She is not alone. If she would attend group get-togethers with other AS people, she will find out she is not alone in thinking this way.

WG, I still can't find the post where she says she was diagnosed with Aspergers. I only find the post where you state she has Aspergers.

Please copy the post where she says she was diagnosed with Aspergers. I can't find it.

Alty · Aug 18, 2012, 07:41 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Asperger's Syndrome. She has had other threads where she mentioned this.

I didn't read her other threads. I only read this one, and based my advice on the posts she posted here.

Wondergirl · Aug 18, 2012, 07:46 PM

"redlipsticklena's Avatar
redlipsticklena Posts: 83, Reputation: 11
Junior Member

#7 Report

Jul 25, 2012, 12:26 AM
I have asperger syndrome. First of all I was not 'getting angry' just that one answer was so off topic, of course I know this is a 'free' site and everyone is not experts. No reason to tell me how respond towards the answers, as I am adult like the rest here. Obviously everyone is not going to like the answers they get and everyone is not going to like the questions posted either. No big deal. People getting way over sensitive about it.... Anyways thanks for the advice that's all."

From https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-...-686278-2.html -- post #7.

Alty · Aug 18, 2012, 07:51 PM

Thanks WG. I admit that I didn't read the OP's other posts. The information about aspergers should have been included in this post, because many others also wouldn't have looked back at former posts. This OP has 83 posts. I have a family. I'm not going to skim over 83 posts so I can answer this question.

I don't know a lot about aspergers, so I'll leave now. I only posted based on what the OP wrote. That's a very important lesson for other posters. If we don't have all the details, the answers won't be 100% accurate. Don't expect us to look over all the other posts you've written. Give all pertinent info in each post so we can give an accurate opinion. There are 100's of thousand other posters on this site, and we do this for free. I know that I won't bother to spend an entire day reading your other 83 posts just to figure out who you are. When you post, tell all, every time. Don't rely on your other posts to tell the story. :(

I'm out. Good luck to the OP.

redlipsticklena · Aug 18, 2012, 08:40 PM

Originally Posted by Alty

You're not a freak. There are many people on this Earth that feel exactly the way you do.

I am asking questions because I really don't believe that you're not sexual. You masturbate. Do you do that for sexual satisfaction? There's really no other reason to do so. If you weren't sexual you wouldn't want sexual satisfaction.

It sounds to me like you don't know what you prefer. You're attracted to men and women, but you have a family that won't accept you being a lesbian, so you choose to deny yourself the pleasure of sexual contact. This is just a guess based on what you've written. If you're honest with me, I can do my best to give you more than a guess.

I really don't think you lack sexuality. I think you lack the confidence to figure out what you want, and to go for it. I think you're afraid.

Helo

Yes I do the masturbation for sexual fun BUT I do not have any 'desire' to go out and finds a man or a woman for real sex. That is not normal right? Sometime I wonder what its like to have husband but I will never have one.

I am NOT a lesbian though whether my family accept that or not, doesn't matter. They just don't know why I lives alone and will not particpate in dating like rest of girls my age. Sigh.

Yes I am being honest. I have a low confidence because all the male I have talked to said I wait to late in life to start these thing and now I just look weird and behind in life compared to other women. I do not know what is right for me to do.

I guess you are right I am afraid to try anything.so that means I am asexual I guess.