[muddlemess]

Hello everyone,

Ok I have a big problem!
A lad from work has been texting me on and off for about 10 months. To make the picture a bit clearer... I am 18, he is 21. We met in work. My best friend started working in the same shop last September. I introduced her to this guy and they became good mates. I think she knew he was interested in me, as we are joint at the hips so when he text she was like who is that etc. She knew he texted me.. alot! December 06 came and the lad asked me out, I turned him down, as being me I did like him but I'm worried about being in relationship it was too soon, and I'm scared of commitment. It took him a week or two to get over it, and I think he confided in my best friend. Obviously I talked about him a lot to her (my best friend) she knew everything basically. The texts started again, and the flirting in work (ok I admit, I lead him on again and I am ashamed of that, but deep down I wanted him, but my mind told me no as I felt scared) we got close again (please note we have never "dated" we have never kissed, sex or even hugged as a matter of fact!) Then he asked again at the end of January 07. Again I wanted him but said no. After this he got annoyed (understandably) and he started texting my best mate more (it was nothing like the texts he would send me, they were just friendly ones) but I think it was set out to make me jealous and want him... IT WORKED. Again we got close, the texts started and he stopped textin my best mate as much... we both know we are going to get together this time, I have implied it, even thought he hasn't said anything yet.
Anyway I have come to realise lately that whenever I mention his name, my friend just turns off, she doesn't want to know, but only if it involves us two. If it is anything else slike just concerning him she wants to know everythin. Then in work she is always eager to get off the floor to go in the area where he works, and she phones he a lot and texts him. And recently she has been rather cold with me. I have put two and two together and think well perhaps she may like him. As a long time ago when I told her I liked him, she tried to discourage me. However when we and the lad went through the bad patch and he was texting her for a bit (don't forget they were friendly texts nothing flirty, as apparently he told people in work he doesn't fancy my best mate, and he would still always like me) but because I got jealous I used to say to my mate oh look who is popular, I think he likes you (even though I knew he liked me) and she used to get all like "no he doesn't!" but all like high pitch and giggly as if to say I wish he did but its fact he likes you.
But I just don't know what to do, I don't want to loose my best mate, but I want to date this lad. I mean I can't talk to my mate as its only something I assume its not fact or anything, plus she wouldn't tell me if she did because she knows I like him! I feel bad but at the same time I think well this has been going on ages and it was obvious we would end up together, I just needed time to feel comfortable and happy! And I know this guy (despite what others think in work about him) I know he will make me happy, but then I won't be happy and can't be happy if my mate hates me! Please help me! Thanks!

[bodyimage]

I think if he likes you and you like him there's no reason you can't date, your saying you friend hasn't let on to the fact, so therefore you may not have guessed that she may like him she may not you never know. You could always chance it and if you find its splitting you and your mate up YOU have to decide what is worst losing your best mate or a guy you have known for a few months? Your post it far to confusing for people to understand I think that is why you may find you do not get any feedback... sorry!