[bmar249441]

OK I might be 13 and he is 14 the day ended up in the hospital was the day he said I love you 2 days latter he was in the hospital I couldn't go vist him that day he found out he had lung cancer on augst 11 ,9 pm his ant told me was in emergancy sergery he passed away at 1 am augst 12 of bleeding to death I haven't talked to no one when I leave the house its alone I don't want to see no one even talking about it is hard for me I didn't even get to see him one last time I can't even go to his funiral because its in New Mexico I feel like the worst girlfriend in the world just don't know were to go from here

[JudyKayTee]

ok i might be 13 and he is 14 the day ended up in the hospital was the day he said i love you 2 days latter he was in the hospital i couldnt go vist him that day he found out he had lung cancer on augst 11 ,9 pm his ant told me was in emergancy sergery he passed away at 1 am augst 12 of bleeding to death i havnt talked to no one when i leave the house its alone i dont wana see no one even talking about it is hard for me i didnt even get to see him one last time i can't even go to his funiral because its in new mexico i feel like the worst girlfriend in the world just dont know were to go from here

First, I'm sorry - there is no easy way to recover from losing someone you love. I don't know what you mean by you "might" be 13 - are you 13?

Attending the funeral can give you closure, but, of course, that's not a possibility here.

You have to do what feels right for you - talk about it, not talk about, do whatever helps you deal with your loss.

Grief is a difficult road, no matter what age you are.

Are your parents understanding?

[bmar249441]

Yes I am 13 and no they don't understand when I cry they tell me not to they tell me not to think about it but its so hard

[bmar249441]

No my parints don't understand and yes I'm 13

[JudyKayTee]

no my parints dont understand and yes im 13

It's hard to grieve and even harder to grieve alone. Friends? Other family members? Sometimes if you can find one person who will listen to you, understand that you are grieving, it makes a big difference.

[Fr_Chuck]

If you were 20 and had a car, you would be there. So in your heart you know you would have been with him if you could.

It is hard to say goodbye and you did at least have a last word with him, and know that he was thinking of you. So you honor him by living your life to the fullest like he would have wanted.

[JudyKayTee]

i feel like the worst girlfriend in the world just dont know were to go from here

You know, it's not about someone's final weeks or days or minutes - it's about how you treated them all the days leading up to that.

I'm sure he knows you would have been there.

Are you taking time for yourself, taking care of yourself?

[bmar249441]

No I don't really have much friends and my brother is the only one who listins to me but he's in the marines so we don't talk mutch and yes I have been taking time to myself

[LOLlover]

Seeing as you can't go to the funeral maybe it is best to have a fake funeral,as in gather his friends and talk together and just be together.Loseing someone is not easy and my greatest simpathies after your loss .

Sicererly

[JudyKayTee]

no i dont realy have much friends and my brother is the only one who listins to me but hes in the marines so we dont talk mutch and yes i have been taking time to my self

You have to take care of yourself - some people find getting people together to talk and remember helps. Other people don't think it helps much at all. Sometimes planting a tree or flowers or something like that helps.

I hope your brother in the Marines is stationed in the US - you don't need to worry about him right now.

Care to share anything about your boyfriend, why he was special? I was widowed a couple of years ago and one day my neighbor came over and we talked about something he had done that made us laugh at the time and we laughed all over again and I thought, "As long as I can remember, he's not lost to me."

Do you know what I mean?

[bmar249441]

He was so speacal because he made me smile he treated me with respect and wanted to meet my mom and dad he was always trying to make me not worry and even when he was sad he would smile for me he worryed about me and cared. I think planting flowers would help.

[JudyKayTee]

he was so speacal because he made me smile he treated me with respect and wanted to meet my mom and dad he was always trying to make me not worry and even when he was sad he would smile for me he worryed about me and cared. i think planting flowers would help.

He sounds like a good guy - what a loss! How nice looking he was. You really were an attractive couple. (You're very pretty, but I'm sure you hear that all the time.)

I really am sorry. Are you in touch with his family at all?

[bmar249441]

Thanks you this stuff really helps

[JudyKayTee]

thanks you this stuff realy helps

Any time you need to talk - come back.

[JudyKayTee]

How are you feeling today? Any better?

[bmar249441]

To day I'm OK I had to go to school and meet teatchers it was hard for me cause my class mates were giving me dirdy looks this school year really is going to be hard.

[Wondergirl]

Why did they give you dirty looks?

[bmar249441]

Because I'm a girl that has more guy friends then girls and I to them I look different

[Wondergirl]

Please explain further.

[bmar249441]

At school I'm bullied my guy friends stick up for me and the girls call me "whore slut emo goth suicidal" and more I'm called emo cause I don't really dress in girly cloths and I'm called all that outher stuff because I have so meany guy friends