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Shakeh · Aug 2, 2012, 09:01 AM

There is a lot in my mind, my English is not very good, but really need to discuss it. What do you think please?

The big sister, or brother is always considered the one who has the right opinion? He or she has the right to rule over the other children? And what might be the society expectation?

Wondergirl · Aug 2, 2012, 09:12 AM

Is this a personal/family question or a school question?

Shakeh · Aug 2, 2012, 09:29 AM

Consider it a family question and not very personal.

Wondergirl · Aug 2, 2012, 10:12 AM

Well, since I was the oldest child in my family, of course I was always the smartest one and the one every sib should listen to. :) That worked when my parents were around, but didn't work out so well if I were babysitting my sibs.

Is there a particular situation you want to ask about? Are you the oldest child?

Shakeh · Aug 2, 2012, 10:20 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Well, since I was the oldest child in my family, of course I was always the smartest one and the one every sib should listen to. :) That worked when my parents were around, but didn't work out so well if I were babysitting my sibs.

Is there a particular situation you want to ask about? Are you the oldest child?

Thanks for the reply.No I am not the oldest,I just want to know How people think about it,you were smart but what is the relation of being the oldest child and so being also the smartest?

talaniman · Aug 2, 2012, 10:31 PM

The oldest child is the one to have the most responsibility because they should be more mature. Some times parents give them more responsibility to help them mature. That's tough when you are the oldest, but have stubborn and rebellious younger siblings that don't want to listen, obey or follow directions.

All societies accept this from the eldest. Can you see the youngest being put in charge of the older ones?

Wondergirl · Aug 2, 2012, 10:35 PM

I guess it helped to be smart because my parents knew they could leave me alone with my siblings when they went out and not have to worry. The oldest is not always the smartest, but the oldest does have his parents' full attention until another baby comes along. For me, that was four years before my brother showed up. During that time, my parents read to me and played with me and taught me many things. I was also the first grandchild on both sides, so I had that advantage too.

Shakeh · Aug 2, 2012, 10:39 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

The oldest child is the one to have the most responsibility because they should be more mature. Some times parents give them more responsibility to help them mature. Thats tough when you are the oldest, but have stubborn and rebellious younger siblings that don't want to listen, obey or follow directions.

All societies accept this from the eldest. Can you see the youngest being put in charge of the older ones?

But maybe.sometimes the older one is not right in her-his opinion and obey may not bring any good result,I think the mother and father are the only one in the family who have the right to give advices to all the children from the youngest to the oldest

Wondergirl · Aug 2, 2012, 10:49 PM

Yes, the parents have the final authority, the final say, but if they put the oldest child in authority while they are gone, then he or she should be obeyed and listened to.

Shakeh · Aug 2, 2012, 11:42 PM

Yes if they give the authority to the big child for one day may be its oki.but can someone guarantee that the older one is really the right one to give the authority to and can behave without harming the little ones emotionally or in some rare times physically even if it is unseen because of the competitiveness feelings among the children .
And in other side I think the sisters and brothers are there to help each other,to love and to be friends and isn't any question of obeying but respecting each other ,the little one can respect the older and the older also the little ones every right to live and to grow with confidence .there are always so many things that we can learn from the older brother and sisters but also many thing from the little ones in this way we can bring Peace and Happiness for all the children in the family

JudyKayTee · Aug 4, 2012, 06:06 AM

Originally Posted by Shakeh

Yes if they give the authority to the big child for one day may be its oki.but can someone guarantee that the older one is really the right one to give the authority to and can behave without harming the little ones emotionally or in some rare times physically even if it is unseen because of the competitiveness feelings among the children .
And in other side I think the sisters and brothers are there to help each other,to love and to be friends and isn't any question of obeying but respecting each other ,the little one can respect the older and the older also the little ones every right to live and to grow with confidence .there are always so many things that we can learn from the older brother and sisters but also many thing from the little ones in this way we can bring Peace and Happiness for all the children in the family

I know you say this is not a personal question but it sure appears that it is!

I think you are looking for or living in a fairytale. Yes, in theory all brothers and sisters should live in peace and happiness - but we all know that isn't necessarily the case.

Of course there is no guarantee that the oldest child is the most responsible. I happen to also be the oldest child, and I had responsibilities which my siblings, being younger, did not have.

No one is responsible for anyone else's peace and happiness - you find that from within yourself. A brother or sister (or anyone else) does not "gift" that to you.

Shakeh · Aug 4, 2012, 09:10 AM

Thanks ,

But sure we all are responsible for each others Peace and happiness and what else is the case specially if we are brothers and sisters Im sure you are also a very positive person. If we value what the family is and how important is that we all try to make a happy and peaceful environment and in other hand all the humans like to live in Peace and I think its not a fairytale it's the most true reality in our life. In this case I am not expecting this from the oldest brother or sister I am telling this in general .I really didn/t mean to hurt the oldest brothers or sisters in any case because they may be the most wonderful persons in the world.

Wondergirl · Aug 4, 2012, 09:14 AM

And you are one of the younger siblings who is disappointed with being overseen by an older sibling?

Shakeh · Aug 4, 2012, 09:35 AM

I am the youngest but I always had the independence and the responsibility sense for all the members of my family most cases of my life and I am happy for this.

JudyKayTee · Aug 4, 2012, 10:00 AM

Originally Posted by Shakeh

But sure we all are responsible for each others Peace and happiness and what else is the case specially if we are brothers and sisters Im sure you are also a very positive person. if we value what the family is and and how important is that we all try to make a happy and peaceful environment and in other hand all the humans like to live in Peace and I think its not a fairytale its the most true reality in our life. in this case I am not expecting this from the oldest brother or sister I am telling this in general .I really didn/t mean to hurt the oldest brothers or sisters in any case because they may be the most wonderful persons in the world.

I don't think this is a question about personal relationships. I think it's a discussion about personal relationships with siblings and birth order.

And, I already said I don't believe we are responsible for each other's peace and happiness. Making yourself peaceful and happy is YOUR job, not mine. I'm happy to help but I am NOT the one responsible for making and keeping you (or anyone else) happy. You appear to have had emotional problems in the past. Is that what this thead is about?

If it's not and it's a discussion I don't think it belongs here.

I do note you've used AMHD as a chat board before, and it's been brought to your attention.

It's hard to answer a question (and this is a Q and A board) when no question is apparent. Then when I do answer, you debate with me.

I realize both of your parents have died - but you're the youngest and responsible for your siblings? I must be missing something - what am I missing?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/mental...ts-27886.html; https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/mental...s-258774.html; https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/death-...r-23382-3.html

Fr_Chuck · Aug 4, 2012, 10:26 AM

Oldest child does not have that right just because they are oldest, parents may give them that authority if they want, it is not uncommon in larger families for the older children to help raise the smaller ones.

Now if you live in a society that always allows this, please give us more details as to what society.

Shakeh · Aug 4, 2012, 10:30 AM

Thank you so so much Dear Fr Chuck I am just very very satisfied of just your that answer and thanks again.

Shakeh · Aug 4, 2012, 01:22 PM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

I don't think this is a question about personal relationships. I think it's a discussion about personal relationships with siblings and birth order.

And, I already said I don't believe we are responsible for each other's peace and happiness. Making yourself peaceful and happy is YOUR job, not mine. I'm happy to help but I am NOT the one responsible for making and keeping you (or anyone else) happy. You appear to have had emotional problems in the past. Is that what this thead is about?

If it's not and it's a discussion I don't think it belongs here.

I do note you've used AMHD as a chat board before, and it's been brought to your attention.

It's hard to answer a question (and this is a Q and A board) when no question is apparent. Then when I do answer, you debate with me.

I realize both of your parents have died - but you're the youngest and responsible for your siblings? I must be missing something - what am I missing?
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/death-...r-23382-3.html

Thanks for taking time to reply .Yes unfortunately I lost Both my parents and after my mothers death I was depressed and was in grief that was so natural and I passed some emotional issues yes and that was natural and normal too Do you know someone who is not grieving for a mother lose if yes that is what we may call not normal,I trust this site because there were so many kind people then here and I really am thankful of them giving me advices that really was sympathetic.But what I noticed know I was wrong trusting the site and sharing my personal feelings of that years,I was too wrong because you are abusing it .So putting my previous posts here with no apparent reason is really inappropriate and meaningless .
And finally if it is hard for you to understand my question or if you think it is a wrong question in a wrong category simply don't answer it please or tell any moderator to delete the question or to tell me to delete it. This is the best solution..

JudyKayTee · Aug 5, 2012, 09:00 AM

Originally Posted by Shakeh

thanks for taking time to reply .Yes unfortunately I lost Both my parents and after my mothers death I was depressed and was in grief that was so natural and I passed some emotional issues yes and that was natural and normal too Do you know someone who is not grieving for a mother lose if yes that is what we may call not normal,I trust this site because there were so many kind people then here and i really am thankful of them giving me advices that really was sympathetic.But what I noticed know I was wrong trusting the site and sharing my personal feelings of that years,I was too wrong because you are abusing it .So putting my previous posts here with no apparent reason is really inappropriate and meaningless .
And finally if it is hard for you to understand my question or if you think it is a wrong question in a wrong category simply dont answer it please or tell any moderator to delete the question or to tell me to delete it. this is the best solution..

It is neither inappropriate NOR meaningless to refer to your other threads. Please quote your source for this information. A person reading this thread would have no idea you are an orphan, the youngest sibling, and this is a Q & A - post discussions on discussion boards.

And you are not the only person who has lost a loved one.

I notice you gave me a reddie for mentioning your other threads. Reddies are for incorrect info, not because you don't want anyone to know where you're coming from.

Don't attempt to tell anyone how to answer your posts -

JudyKayTee · Aug 5, 2012, 09:26 AM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Oldest child does not have that right just because they are oldest, parents may give them that authority if they want, it is not uncommon in larger families for the older children to help raise the smaller ones.

Now if you live in a society that always allows this, please give us more details as to what society.

"Dear" Frchuck: The OP answers no questions - has opinions but no reasoning to back them up.

Again - this is not a relationship question. This is a conversation.