[Ulysses]

Hi all!
First of all, it's been 2 months of no contact for us, and I went through really tough times.
Then guess what! She called me today - I just watched my cellphone ringing not believing my own eyes.
I did't pick up, because it was kind of a shock, and then because all I would be able to say it to shout like ctrazy smth like "I can't go on like this without you!!!". But what if whe just was wondering how I've been. Maybe she just wanted to know if I'm still alive and OK so as to relieve her own burden... I am really agitated and anxious, just don't know what to think. Should I call her back?

[Krs]

Do u want to get in touch wi her again?

Maybe a text message is better than a call for now!

[Ulysses]

Do u want to get in touch wi her again?

maybe a text msg is better than a call for now!

Well frankly, I was convincing myself these weeks that I will forget her, and never look back but you know, I would give everything to be back with her. Stupid to think that way...

[Krs]

Well I read your previous post and from you wrote seemed like you tried to get her back but she just didn't want to know right?

[Jiser]

Look realistically at your situation and don't rush into anything or it might bring any recovery you have crashing down!

[rol]

No do not call her back.
She is probably calling to see how you have been.
If it is the opposite then she will call back again.

[Ulysses]

Well i read your previous post and from you wrote seemed like you tried to get her back but she just didnt wanna know right?

I did try to keep her from leaving me. I did everything people do when they're shocked i.e. calling, emailing, persuading but it made her firm to leave. I stopped it completely two months ago. Because of the person she is (very sincere, honest, never manipulative) I simply don't understand her reasons for calling me now.

[Jiser]

She's probably just checking up on you, seeing if you are OK. As rol said if her call means anything more than that she will ring again.

[rol]

Did she leave a message?
If not definitely don't call her back, she will call again.

[Ulysses]

Did she leave a msg?
if not definitely dont call her back, she will call again.

Thanks!
I thing Rol you are right. No she didn't leave a message because I don't use voicemail.

One thing I'm afraid of she also has a healthy self-esteem which might prevent her from calling me again. But I am building a hope on vague grounds... It seems it's better not to call

[Krs]

I agree too!

Let her call again. If she really really wants to know how you are then she should call back ;)

[origins13]

Yes, don't call her back. If it's important, she'll call you again, write you an email, or try any means to reach you.

Try to froget about it and don't give yourself any false hopes, cause they will put you back to square one.

[LBP]

I think your reaction says it all... You're putting a lot of weight on what she could say. If it was important she would have left a message... Right? And you'd only want to hear it if it were important. Otherwise, she's probably just wasting your time.

The only time that you should answer a phone call from her is if you have no expectations. Not that you aren't interested in the outcome, but that you can go one way or the other - that you've realized you can live without her, so you can come back fresh. Otherwise you're just running a race with weighted sneakers...

If it's desperate that you call her, don't kill yourself in denying it... But honestly ask yourself if the risk is worth the gain - if that's what's most healthy for you, right now. Remember what has happened in the past as you consider this!

I think you'll be fine no matter what happens, my friend.

[rol]

And knowing you are not there waiting for her, and calling her back the minute she calls might wake her up!

So definitely do not call her back

Keep on your track with the healing process

[Ulysses]

Thanks, friends. Your answers are of great value to me. I think I'll wait and look at what happened from another angle and with less emotions. Another important news for me is I am not at all over it. So I'll stay from any action and see if there's any news. No hope fulelling though ).

[rol]

Exactly stop and think before making a move.
You can call her in a few months, but not now.
Right now you are just starting the road to recovery.. and you are doing well!!

[valinors_sorrow]

The only time that you should answer a phone call from her is if you have no expectations. Not that you aren't interested in the outcome, but that you can go one way or the other - that you've realized you can live without her, so you can come back fresh.

I tried to rep LBP but got the spread it message. This was a bullseye observation! That you were so affected by the call said you were not in a good place to answer, and instinctively you knew that and didn't answer. Bravo for you!

Take this as a good exercise in exactly what giving up your power looks and feels like -- one ringy dingy and you were off and running... which is understandable. You need time, more time to get your feet under you again. Win that fight (to get your power back) and next time you lose your heart to someone, maybe you won't lose everything along with it.

The only other choice in this is to ignore the lesson and live by some quiet desperation and we all know that never works out well.

I think you did know what to do and did it -- ignore the call and focus on your continued recovery. Well done!

[talaniman]

You've gotten good advice so far, and have done the right thing as far as not just jumping at a ringing phone. Stay on the path, your doing much better than you think.