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acension1 · Jul 30, 2012, 01:20 PM

Just be patient I'm going through the same thing at the moment, I know its tough but just try to change and be a better person so that maybe you could have a second chance with him... I don't know that's what I think

012345 · Jul 30, 2012, 02:13 PM

Thanks! Yeah I don't want to wait around for him and am really going to try to move on. Im going to give it a month or so and try to move on but if I don't and still have strong feelings I'm just going to try to be friends and have casual hang out time.

Alty · Jul 30, 2012, 02:46 PM

Originally Posted by 012345

Thanks! Yeah I don't want to wait around for him and am really going to try to move on. Im gonna give it a month or so and try to move on but if I don't and still have strong feelings I'm just going to try to be friends and have casual hang out time.

That's the way to do it.

Keep yourself busy, surround yourself with friends, and let your heart heal.

When you're ready you'll start dating again. There's no hurry. Don't jump from the frying pan into the fire. Besides, you still have some work to do on yourself. Don't forget about that. This relationship may be over, but that doesn't change how you treated him, and what you can do to change it.

Is that still something you want to do? If so, now's your chance.

012345 · Jul 30, 2012, 03:16 PM

Yes and I know I sound so stupid wanting someone when they clearly don't want me. But that humans we want things we can't have. At this point I just want to get him back the right way instead of being scared to death for an answer in 2 weeks like I was.

Now it's time to figure out my steps to get him back. Don't think I haven't researched this. Obviously I'm asking for advice from here so yes I'm looking for advice. I read somewhere where it said to mark my calendar for 30 days. At the end of the 30 days I should contact him.

Alty · Jul 30, 2012, 03:19 PM

Originally Posted by 012345

Yes and I know I sound so stupid wanting someone when they clearly don't want me. But that humans we want things we can't have. At this point i just want to get him back the right way instead of being scared to death for an answer in 2 weeks like I was.

Now it's time to figure out my steps to get him back. Don't think I haven't researched this. Obviously I'm asking for advice from here so yes I'm looking for advice. I read somewhere where it said to mark my calendar for 30 days. At the end of the 30 days I should contact him.

Sigh.

Have you learned nothing?

The object is not to get him back. It's to learn to live without him. Learn to better yourself. Learn to be the best you.

If I had a dime for every guy I absolutely had to have but couldn't, I'd be rich! Thankfully I followed the advice I'm giving you. I lived, I learned, and I found the right guy for me. If I had hung on to some guy that didn't want me, I wouldn't be happily married with 2 kids, a house full of pets, and living with the man I'm meant to be with. I'd still be sitting around wishing for something I can't have.

If your only goal is to get him back, I see nothing but heartache and a wasted life in your future.

Wondergirl · Jul 30, 2012, 03:29 PM

He is no longer in your (romance) life. Now, since there are 7 billion people in the world so there are many men to check out, it's time to get your own act together and eventually find a new date.

012345 · Jul 30, 2012, 03:32 PM

Okay I'm just saying thatsbwhatvi plan to do. Could it work? Thanks for the advice I really am going to try to move on

Wondergirl · Jul 30, 2012, 03:33 PM

In 30 days? No, it won't work. You will be ancient history by then.

Alty · Jul 30, 2012, 03:35 PM

Originally Posted by 012345

Okay I'm just saying thatsbwhatvi plan to do. Could it work? Thanks for the advice I really am going to try to move on

Sorry, but what the heck does "thatsbwhatvi" mean? I read it 5 times and I still have no clue. Can you try again in English?

Until I know what you're saying, don't know if it will work or not. I'm guessing it won't, but that's a guess. Remember, we speak English, not bingo. It's before, not before, and I have no idea what "thatsbwhatvi" means.

012345 · Jul 30, 2012, 03:41 PM

Are you kidding me? I'm on my phone and didn't type right. It said "that's what I". You can be a bit nicer. All I am doing is asking for advice.. Sorry I had a typo.

Alty · Jul 30, 2012, 04:26 PM

Originally Posted by 012345

Are you kidding me? I'm on my phone and didn't type right. It said "that's what I". You can be a bit nicer. All I am doing is asking for advice.. Sorry I had a typo.

I'm not trying to be mean. Typo or not, I didn't know what you were saying. Was I supposed to pretend that I understood? Would that have made it "nicer" for you?

Sorry, I don't pretend to understand. If I don't know what you're posting, I'll ask. I'm also not one to sugar coat things. I'm blunt, that's who I am. If I don't get it, I'll ask. Which I did. I also abhor chat speak, which is what your post seemed to be.

If you thought I was deliberately being mean, I apologize. I am not a mean person. I simply don't beat around the bush. I don't sugar coat. I say what's on my mind.

Let me put it this way. Ich koente dich nicht verstehen. Darum hab ich gefragt was du meinst.

It's German. Don't understand it? Well, that's how I felt.

If you say "I don't understand" , is that being mean? No. You don't speak German, right? So it makes sense that you'd ask what I wrote. That's what I did.

odinn7 · Jul 30, 2012, 05:31 PM

So wait a minute here...

All this and you came here saying:

Originally Posted by 012345

Thanks! Yeah I don't want to wait around for him and am really going to try to move on. Im gonna give it a month or so and try to move on but if I don't and still have strong feelings I'm just going to try to be friends and have casual hang out time.

An hour and 3 minutes later, you come back with:

Originally Posted by 012345

Now it's time to figure out my steps to get him back. Don't think I haven't researched this. Obviously I'm asking for advice from here so yes I'm looking for advice. I read somewhere where it said to mark my calendar for 30 days. At the end of the 30 days I should contact him.

Are you playing us? Are you just looking to string us along or get attention? In your first post, you're ready to just go with it and in your second one, you're planning on, and asking advice about getting him back.

You are setting yourself up for some major emotional pain. You haven't listened... you heard, but didn't listen. All the advice you're getting is just thrown out the window. I'm done here. I feel this is just a waste of time as you are already set on what you're going to do and you're just asking us just for something to occupy your time.

012345 · Jul 30, 2012, 06:11 PM

Then don't answer me if you don't want to. Duh when you're going through something you act out of instinct and I am sorry but I love the guy. First and last time I ever use a website for this stuff. :) thanks so much.

odinn7 · Jul 30, 2012, 06:35 PM

Originally Posted by 012345

Then don't answer me if you don't want to. Duh when you're going through something you act out of instinct and I am sorry but I love the guy. First and last time I ever use a website for this stuff. :) thanks so much.

You think nobody else here has been through anything like this? You think we're just pulling these answers out of our as$es? No, you don't just go on instinct... but I do see that you just go on impulse... and in the long run, you will be sorry that you did.

First and last time? So sorry. You're welcome!

012345 · Aug 15, 2012, 11:05 AM

I've posted on this before and got upset, but I really have changed the way I look at things.

My ex broke up with me about a month ago. At first it was a break, and then a week later he ended it. I have been annoying and called and texted him. (stuff I knew I shouldn't do) he stopped talking to me and just started ignoring me. Well one day I saw him and he called me crazy:( and then I realized I have got to change the way I'm going about this. I sent an apology text saying I was sorry and hope that someday we could be friends.
He replied and said its okay I accept your apology and this this was it he needs some space.

I didn't talk to him for about a week. And then saw him driving one morning and called him. He surprisingly answered and then he asked about another guy and acted like he didn't care. I asked him to get a drink and he said he would call me later on in the week.
I've texted him a couple times since then. (it's only been 3 days) one of my texts said are we still on for this weekend? (from me) and he said "umm yeah about that idk if I'm ready for that, it's not you it's me! I'm not saying no but not yes either"

I never replied and that happened last night. I was this guy back and I want to go about it the right way. Please help me out.

santhalus · Aug 15, 2012, 11:29 AM

You sound like you desperately want him back. Just chillout and don't contact him so much, and if you do just do the basic one question one answer kind of communication - you must give him space though, probably a month should do it. If he texts you like that it means he's telling you to back off

012345 · Aug 15, 2012, 06:36 PM

Okay today he texted me and asked what I was doing? So I called him and asked if he needed something. He told me to come over so I did and then he told me that he thinks about me everyday and he has to try his hardest not to talk to me and now we agreed to work things out but right now we aren't in a relationship because we are trying to take it slow.

What do I do? I don't want to mess this chance that I have up.

Fr_Chuck · Aug 15, 2012, 07:14 PM

Merged

Wondergirl · Aug 15, 2012, 07:45 PM

How do you work things out without being in a relationship? Work out what things? How?

talaniman · Aug 15, 2012, 07:54 PM

Why are you so all fired pushy about this? Desperate is NOT attractive. Neither is obsession. His agreement to talk it out and take it slow sounds so great to you, but all he has done is remain free, and uncommited and is no way a reason to have false hope.

Its one of those hope for the best but plan for the worst kinds of situations.