[talaniman]

Then act like it and stop the rude impulsive behavior! Not for one day, for two weeks and forever. Stop being a raging pest. Because you can. Now do the RIGHT thing! Make HIM happy, not unhappy.

[Alty]

He just told me he needed space and we needed a break for two weeks.

He asked for space, no contact, just for 2 weeks. That's all he asked for, but what did you do?

the 1st two days I have talked to him and texted him and blew his phone up

I can tell he is so annoyed by me! But also when I talked to him last night I'm pretty sure he would have told me the break was over if he truly wanted it to be.

You blew it. He asked for space and you didn't even give him an inch of space. He asked to be left alone for two weeks and you hounded and hounded and hounded.

If he wasn't already aware of the type of person you are, he is now.

It's time to leave this poor guy alone, I doubt that there will be a relationship after this.

[012345]

Well thanks.

[Alty]

Well thanks.

I know that's not what you wanted to hear. If you want someone to tell you what you want to hear, ask you friends, they'll sugar coat it for you. We won't. We base our posts on what you've written.

You have control issues. That much is obvious. You were controlling with him, and mean (because he let you be mean). When he asked for space you continued the control by blowing up his phone with messages. You can't, or won't give up the control you have over him. That's not a relationship, and it seems like he finally realizes that.

If you want any chance of saving this then you need to get your issues under control. Do you want a boyfriend or a puppy that does everything you want it to do?

Do not text him anymore. Let him be. Give him the 2 weeks he asked for, and during that 2 weeks better yourself. Change how you treat him.

I can't say that this will bring him back. It may already be too late for that, you've done quite a number on this poor guy. But even if you two are over, changing your behavior will help you in your next relationship.

I wish you luck.

[012345]

Thanks! I do know that I am controlling and that's why I want so bad to control the situation. But I have realized that I just can't and if I want him back I have to quit now.

Like I said I know he would have told me we we're completely over and there was no chance yesterday of that was the case. I do think I slipped far away from him when I texted and called him.

But hopefully you are right. I need to give him the remainder of these two weeks and work on my controlling self so that this won't happen again.

[Alty]

Thanks! I do know that I am controlling and that's why I want so bad to control the situation. But I have realized that I just can't and if I want him back I have to quit now.

Like I said i know he would have told me we we're completely over and there was no chance yesterday of that was the case. I do think I slipped far away from him when I texted and called him.

But hopefully you are right. I need to give him the remainder of these two weeks and work on my controlling self so that this won't happen again.

Good for you! I'm glad you listened. :)

I hope you stick to this, and actually do take control of your own behavior. That's the only thing you should be controlling.

I could say "if you care about him you'll do this for him", but really, you need to do this for yourself. You need to get to the bottom of why you treat him the way you do, and why you're so controlling. Even if it doesn't work out between the two of you, and that very well could be the outcome of this, you need to work on yourself so that your next relationship doesn't end like this one did.

I can understand control issues. I have them too. I've had to work very hard to get over my control issues. For me it stemmed from things in my past. I felt that controlling things would spare me from getting hurt like I did in the past. I only ended up pushing people away.

I can't say that I have a complete handle on things. I still tend to dictate things, and I can be controlling when I don't rein myself in. But, I'm a lot better than I used to be. Thankfully I have a husband that understands and accepts me for who and what I am.

Have you considered therapy? Is there something in your past that's made you this way? If you want to talk about it, we're all here to listen, and to help. We're not counselors, but we are honest, upfront, and we'll tell you the truth. I guess you figured that out already. ;)

[012345]

Well thank you. I think I'm just going to try to fix myself for him. And for myself. I know you say it won't work out. But I really really hope it does!

[Alty]

I didn't say it won't work out, I said it was unlikely. Anything can happen, no one on this site knows what he's going to do anymore than you do. Only he knows. We could all be wrong.

If you treated me the way you treated him, and did the things you did, I wouldn't go back. But that's me. I'm not him.

If you were treated the way you treated him would you want to continue the relationship? Be honest with yourself.

[Michelle1996]

1TOTALLY ignore him! Let him miss you and stop being so clingy and mean to him! Treat others the way you want others to treat you!

[Cat1864]

Well thank you. I think I'm just gonna try to fix myself for him. And for myself. I know you say it won't work out. but I really really hope it does!

The key words are 'for me'. If you don't make the changes for yourself then they won't stick and you will be repeating the same thing over and over again.

Understand that as harsh as we are on you, all the 'blame' is not your burden to bear. He needs to look at himself and see what changes he needs to make. He should not have allowed you to treat him the way you have. He should have put his foot down long before now.

If the relationship survives the break, you are going to have to work together to mend the foundation. Do not allow guilt or any other negative emotion to cause you to think you have to do everything to make up for the past. Accept responsibility for what you did and make the changes to be a stronger and healthier partner and move forward whether he is with you or not.

Good luck.

[012345]

I did something horrible. Yesterday I saw him in the car with a girl driving to the next town. And I told my friend and she lives by him. And she said she would see of the girls car was there on the way home. It was. I got upset and texted him this morning. He said I was making this easy and the girl wasn't even there he drove her car from a friends that she stayed at.

[talaniman]

You should have kept this to yourself until you had enough facts. But drama queens can seldom contain themselves from such reactions and confusion.

Think before you act! I don't know what the facts are, neither do YOU!

[012345]

What do y'all think?
He's supposed to call me later?
Do I say something to him?

[talaniman]

Would it be too much to expect you just to listen, and give yourself time to think about what you hear without the dramatics, emotions or over reactions??

[012345]

No I mean I realize I should have stopped and thought about it. Or turned my phone off so I wouldn't. I really don't know what to do anymore. When he calls what do I do? Obviously I suck at break ups, or I wouldn't even be asking for advice.

[talaniman]

Disappear and have no more contact and ignore attempts by them. Thats a clean break and totally appropriate when you get dumped.

But I suspect you will continue to run guys off with your out of control impulsive behavior (CRAZY!! ). Maybe being single and working on your issues would be better than continue getting into these crazy situations. I doubt this is the first time this has happened to you.

You have to have noticed that despite great suggestions you always fall back on "I don't know what to do.".

You do know, its just that you don't want to. Yet you wait for the solution you want to hear, how to get him back. YOU don't. He has to come back on his own, and he shows no signs of that. Actually it seems he is stringing you along, until something better comes along.

[Alty]

The advice I've already posted still stands. Obviously you're not listening to that advice, you're just pretending that you will.

That's your choice, but it doesn't seem to be working too well for you.

Since you won't listen, I'm done. Either learn from your mistakes, do what you said you were going to do, or continue to make these mistakes and drive the final coffin into this relationship.

You're on your own now. Time to put on your big girl pants and sink or swim. Just so you know, so far you're sinking.

Good luck.

[odinn7]

Whew! I just read this thread and here's my take... He thinks you're a controlling loon and you're proving to him that he's right. You need to back off and leave him alone and hope that's enough. It may be too late already.

I know if I was in his position and this was going on, you'd be looking for someone else to have on the leash.

[012345]

Okay thank you for your advice. I am really good at listening to advice I just have weak will power.

He talked to me tonight about what happened this morning with me texting him and he said it made him mad, but he isn't giving up. He still just needs space and that will help.

It opened my eyes and Every time I have the urge to text him I'm just going to turn my phone off for sometime. I'm sorry I didn't put the stuff y'all said in action and I really hope that it's not too late. :) thanks again guys and I'll post updates and those of y'all who are still willing to give advice please do!

[Wondergirl]

We will expect frequent reports as you fight off temptation to contact him!