[mogrann]

I have to chime in.. Your comment about it is simply to late to try is bull. I am in my 40s and started DBT for my issues. Is it hard work YES. Was it easy NO but I am starting to live a life worth living. I have learned new coping mechanisms, am learning Interpersonal skills and off all my mental health medications..
Did I get the help I needed the first time I went out looking heck no. I had to keep looking take what worked from each bit I learned. I too wanted to quit my therapy(DBT) as they were asking the impossible and in fact did walk out once. Change is hard and I had to listen and try even the hard stuff. I still struggle with issues but know skills to use to help me.

IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO GET HELP NO MATTER YOUR AGE.

[redlipsticklena]

Well mogrann that's all well and good for your situation and if you have the patience and whatever to keep beating down doors then that's fine. But I'm not you. I really have just had it altogether. I'd rather spend my time looking for ways to get the hell off this planet. I had it with the ways of people and things that go on. None of it make any sense. If I couldve got something to go right by now, maybe I would be thinking different. The coping mechenism and all that garbage doesn't do nothing for me and maybe it's not meant to either.

[Wondergirl]

Have you ever had a positive thought in your life, redlipstick?

[redlipsticklena]

Therapy isn't working for you because you and the therapist are working against each other. Does she know you are not happy with the therapy? She needs to know that.

And don't you dare quit! You are still very young with plenty of time ahead of you to make this work better.

I can't tell her I'm not happy with the therapy because that's not true. I just think it don't work regardless if it's her or another therapist which I did have 2 other before her. Far as I can tell it's just a bunch of crap that other people claim work for the but it never work for me. Just tired of hearing about other people success all the time and how they claim 'it could be me too,' it's just lies. I had it with ALL OF IT.

[JudyKayTee]

well mogrann that's all well and good for your situation and if you have the patience and whatever to keep beating down doors then that's fine. but i'm not you. i really have just had it altogether. i'd rather spend my time looking for ways to get the hell off of this planet. i had it with the ways of people and things that go on. none of it make any sense. if i couldve got something to go right by now, maybe i would be thinking different. the coping mechenism and all that garbage doesn't do nothing for me and maybe it's not meant to either.

I think this has gone on long enough - this person neither needs nor wants help. She just wants to whine and complain.

I have no idea why it takes time to figure out ways to get the hell off this planet.

I see nothing but argument at every turn, at every suggestion.

I appreciate that this person needs personalized intervention. I'm just not sure that this is the forum for that.

And, no, OP has never had a positive thought or experience - I think that's apparent, nor does she WANT to have a positive thought or experience. She complains that she can't find a job, doesn't have any friends, isn't married, doesn't have children (thank God!).

Goodness knows WG has advanced degrees. All I tried to do was stay awake, so she comes from a far better, more educated place than I come from. My thought is that this thread, these posts, are purely for the attention - the heading alone ("When is it 'okay' to commit suicide over problems") gives an idea about the mindset of the OP. This person would set her hair on fire and run through the streets if she thought people would notice.

Again - English major, not Psych major but... I think the reasons are apparent. I'm just not sure that playing games here is helping anyone.

[redlipsticklena]

Judy if you don't want to post in the thread then move to another one. Everyone else is communicating on topic except you. You keep coming back and telling people what they should and shouldn't be doing and also attempting to tell me about my own life and thoughts (which you know nothing about) excepts what I have posted on here. Just move along already if this thread isn't what you want. Otherwise stop trying to bullguard everyone else into not communicating with me about this, its not an argument or rejecting suggestions. I tell the truth. I am getting responses and talking it out with them, there's nothing else to be said to you except you don't like the thread --- so go on another one.

Edit: as 2 examples: of you talking out your behind and not knowing anything about me: I would not do anything to get noticed. If that was the case I wouldn't stay in most of the times and avoid people. Again, you don't what you're talking about where I am concerned or my life experiences. Second example: it take time to find ways to get off the planet because I do not have access too somes of the things I have looked up. Do not want to end up a vegetable.

Anways point is: nobody is twisting your arm but yet you keep coming back to a conversation you think is a 'waste of time,'

[redlipsticklena]

Have you ever had a positive thought in your life, redlipstick?

Well aside from judy thinking she knows what goes on in life. I'll answer this for myself. Yes I has wondergirl. I was mostly positive all my life I believed if I did all the right things it would work out for me just like everyone else my age back then. Up until a few years ago when I see things are not working for me no matter what I choose. I go to school get an education get friends and try to blend in. but it end up not mattering what I try I still end up way far behind peers in life despite doing similar things as them. So that tells me I am really not meant to be here if things don't work out the same or similar to them by this point.

[Wondergirl]

Redlipstick, this is what you say to your counselor --

"i just think it don't work regardless if it's you or another therapist which i did have 2 other before you. far as i can tell it's just a bunch of crap that other people claim work for the but it never work for me. just tired of hearing about other people success all the time and how they claim 'it could be me too,' it's just lies. i had it with ALL OF IT."

By the way, Judy is my other half. We're a team, Judy and me.

[Wondergirl]

so that tells me i am really not meant to be here if things don't work out the same or similar to them

No, that is NOT what it tells you, not at all.

You ARE meant to be here.

Let's make things work out.

[redlipsticklena]

redlipstick, this is what you say to your counselor --

"i just think it don't work regardless if it's you or another therapist which i did have 2 other before you. far as i can tell it's just a bunch of crap that other people claim work for the but it never work for me. just tired of hearing about other people success all the time and how they claim 'it could be me too,' it's just lies. i had it with ALL OF IT."

By the way, Judy is my other half. We're a team, Judy and me.

OK. Honestly I sees her tomorrow at 1pm. I will say this to her because it's not like telling her how to do her job and I will tell you what she said too.

And if judy is your so called other half you should tells her to stop trying to mind read and control the other posters on here that are participating on the topic. If she do not want to come back she is not obligated to.

[redlipsticklena]

No, that is NOT what it tells you, not at all.

You ARE meant to be here.

Let's make things work out.

I am being serious. I don't know how you can figure that is not what it mean when you looks at other people lives and see the same patterns then look at your own and see the opposite and nothing at all despite all of you did the same things in the beginning?

Besides saying what you said to the therapists I don't know how to make them work out anymore. I just don't.

[Wondergirl]

OK. Honestly I sees her tomorrow at 1pm. I will say this to her because it's not like telling her how to do her job and I will tell you what she said too.

YES, YES, YES! Wonderful!! Be sure to tell me what happened. Mention my name (Carol) if you want to and this thread. You can even tell her I have a master's in psychology and am a counselor (really, I am!). Tell her I want your therapy to be a good thing and be successful -- and you do too.

and if judy is your so called other half you should tells her to stop trying to mind read and control the other posters on here that are participating on the topic. If she do not want to come back she is not obligated to.

I love Judy (even though she can be cranky at times). She always gives me something to think about. She is very smart and is like a drum, while I am like a piano -- different, but we can make beautiful music together.

[Wondergirl]

i am being serious. i dont know how you can figure that is not what it mean when you looks at other people lives and see the same patterns then look at your own and see the opposite and nothing at all despite all of you did the same things in the beginning?

besides saying what u said to the therapists i dont know how to make them work out anymore. i just don't.

I married a guy with Asperger's and we have a child who is autistic. So I should give up too?

[redlipsticklena]

I married a guy with Asperger's and we have a child who is autistic. So I should give up too?

no. if he/you is married then that is what I am talking about. If child is grown up and married again. That's what I'm saying. People seems to find a way to make a normal life excepts for me. It just is not in the cards I don't think at this point 32 years old and nothing to show for it. Even though I did try like everyone else

[Wondergirl]

He had no choice. I made him marry me. He may hate it, I don't know.

Our son will never marry or drive or have friends, so he should kill himself?

[redlipsticklena]

YES, YES, YES!! wonderful!!!!!! Be sure to tell me what happened. Mention my name (Carol) if you want to and this thread. You can even tell her I have a master's in psychology and am a counselor (really, I am!). Tell her I want your therapy to be a good thing and be successful -- and you do too.

I love Judy (even though she can be cranky at times). She always gives me something to think about. She is very smart and is like a drum, while I am like a piano -- different, but we can make beautiful music together.

Okay well I did not knows about your degrees in this. My therapist is doing her ma degree psychology she have to take patients like me for it for a few years now. Somebody told me if I do not do what all she say she will have to drops me for a client because thereis no point/progress in me. I don't have no one else to talk to excepts the therapists and I hopes she don't drop me.

She said the group therapy going to help me for months and I did it and it was not good at all. I hate it and decide never to go back.

[redlipsticklena]

He had no choice. I made him marry me. He may hate it, I don't know.

Our son will never marry or drive or have friends, so he should kill himself?

Well I am not going totell your son what all he should do but I do feels if you are never getting a normal life then why waste time, you know? Whatever his age if he does not have a normal life like other peoples and marriage children etc. then what is the point of staying here? Again, not saying he should do this but if he looks at his situation and see no hope. Then I geuss there's the answer. Can't you see wondergirl this world is made for people to fit together that is the same not outsiders.

[Wondergirl]

My degree is an MS which is even better than an MA. :) (I had lots of math.)

She won't make you quit. You are a challenge. She will be a much better counselor if she is able to figure you out.

Be relieved you aren't MY client!!

[Wondergirl]

So if my son won't ever marry or drive or have friends, there is no reason to keep living? He's 41, by the way.

And all the people in wheelchairs should commit suicide because they don't have a normal life? And all the old people in nursing homes should commit suicide because they don't have a normal life? And doctors should kill all the new babies that are disabled in some way because those babies won't have a normal life?

What the heck is "normal"?

[redlipsticklena]

so what are you saying you drop your clients then when they are lost cause in your opinion?

I have never had a client who was a "lost cause"! There is no such thing.

I don't believe she has to figure me out there is no figuring imo some people need admit they are beyond help anymore. Maybe if I was 21 or 22 and was starting there would be more hope but not at my age. Sorry to say

Then you are missing the boat on what therapy is. The counselor figures out the client, and the client figures out the counselor, Once they get each other figured out, they work together to get things done.

well I don't know what all the peoples disabled should do and all the old peoples in the nursing home. If I was in their shoes sorry to say that's what I would do, commits suicide. Just because people say there's so much life to live they are not in those situations to say what kind of life is life for those people, they are using their own life as a measurement to come to that determination.

No, they are NOT using their life as a measurement. My autistic son is capable of certain things, but I don't demand that he drive or have friends or get married so he is "normal" just like me. I accept him just as he is and accept both his strengths and his weaknesses and let him be who he is.

you know damn well what's normal is come on: normal is you go on dates as a teen, normal is go to dances in hs, normal is you go to college and parties and dates. Normal is you get a job and normal is you get marry and get a house/apt and/or have kids. That's why you see it's a pattern and most every other adult has these things. Because it's normal.

NO ONE is normal. We are all individuals with our unique abilities. We are not like cookies cut out from the same cookie cutter.

My father would not let me go to school dances, so did I commit suicide because I wasn't "normal" and like everyone else? I couldn't date until I was 16, but the other girls dated much earlier. Did I commit suicide because I wasn't "normal" and not like the other kids? I couldn't go to parties because they were in town and we lived out in the country 10 miles away and my father refused to drive me to the parties. Did I commit suicide because I wasn't "normal" and like the other kids?