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New Member
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Jul 21, 2012, 11:07 AM
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He said he was dad then he said he wasn't
My sons father moved in with me when my son was 2 months old and said to many he was dad and a month later moved out and said he wasn't. Between then and now, my son is currently 7 months old and he failed to communicate with us, ignored us. A day ago we got the DNA test to prove he was my sons father and it was 99.99% proof he is. But still won't help, I am wait for a childsupport hearing. I want him to win off so my current parent can adopt him as he has been there since was 3 months and has been DADDY to him. My son knows no one else but him. He has a history of walking out on his other 2 kids many times. What rights do I hold?
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Uber Member
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Jul 21, 2012, 11:21 AM
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Originally Posted by Mjb82
My sons father moved in with me when my son was 2 months old and said to many he was dad and a month later moved out and said he wasn't. Between then and now, my son is currently 7 months old and he failed to communicate with us, ignored us. A day ago we got the DNA test to prove he was my sons father and it was 99.99% proof he is. But still won't help, I am wait for a childsupport hearing. I want him to win off so my current parent can adopt him as he has been there since was 3 months and and has been DADDY to him. My son knows no one else but him. He has a history of walking out on his other 2 kids many times. What rights do I hold?
Now I'm confused - you refer to the man who moved out (#1) as your son's father. He moved out but Court-ordered and approved DNA proves he IS the father.
Now you want to "win him off" (I don't know what that means) so your current parent (?) can adopt the child and is daddy to him.
Your current parent (?) can't adopt unless the BIRTH father agrees AND you are married. The Court wants a commitment that it believes marriage proves.
Did you realize he walked out on his other kids when you your child?
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Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
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Jul 21, 2012, 11:31 AM
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Depending on where you are located (any question on law needs your general locale as laws vary by area) only your husband can adopt as a step parent.
And, in any case, the bio father will need to be identified and consent to the adoption. If DNA proves he is the father, then he will be required to pay support.
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New Member
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Jul 21, 2012, 11:32 AM
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I know he had a history of walking out as he did in the beginning of my pregnancy on me, he said he wante nothing to do with me wouldn't Answer my calls and his other kids mother would and still does call or texts and harasses me along with her mother to and police won't help because they haven't made threats to harm me. He tell his ex and the mother of his other 2 kids everything between him and I about my son.
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New Member
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Jul 21, 2012, 11:35 AM
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Originally Posted by Mjb82
I know he had a history of walking out as he did in the beginning of my pregnancy on me, he said he wante nothing to do with me wouldn't Answer my calls and his other kids mother would and still does call or texts and harasses me along with her mother to and police won't help because they haven't made threats to harm me. He tell his ex and the mother of his other 2 kids everything between him and I about my son.
And I meant to say sign off on parental rights, he don't have to balls to file in court himself as he is lazy and do t want the problems of the hearings.
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Family Law Expert
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Jul 21, 2012, 11:47 AM
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Originally Posted by Mjb82
And I ment to say sign off on parental rights, he don't have to balls to file in court him self as he is lazy and do t want the problems of the hearings.
He CANNOT literally give up his rights. He may chose not to exercise them.
What you may expect
1 To receive child support from him
2 You may think about step-parent adoption only if your current "PARENT" /?? /is married to you and you have been married at least one/ two years.
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Expert
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Jul 21, 2012, 12:13 PM
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First let me see real bio father lived there till child was 3 months old, when child was still 3 months old, new boyfriend also moved in and has been there since for 4 months.
No the court will not allow adoption yet, almost all require you to be married and married for at least a year. The others will want a long term relationship 1 to 3 years.
So you will have to get married and/or wait till it is long enough.
The real bio father will have to sign to agree to the adoption.
Many will sign if they can get out of child support, so you should be going after support
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New Member
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Jul 22, 2012, 06:33 AM
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Bio dad was only there a month from when my son was 2 months till 3 months, he stayed about 30 days then left and stopped talking to us. I have talk to a legal adviser and they said that because he walked out, failed to provide and because he is not on the birth certificate and because I am his birth mother I have all legal and parental responsabilities and until the court has a hearing and he is put on the certificate I can do what I need. With the limit that the currents partner has to wait till its bee a year and we are married and that should be soon. Thanks everyone for you opinions and advice.
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Expert
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Jul 22, 2012, 06:47 AM
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Originally Posted by Mjb82
Bio dad was only there a month from when my son was 2 months till 3 months, he stayed about 30 days then left and stopped talking to us. I have talk to a legal adviser and they said that because he walked out, failed to provide and because he is not on the birth certificate and because i am his birth mother i have all legal and parental responsabilities and until the court has a hearing and he is put on the certificate i can do wat i need. with the limit that the currents partner has to wait till its bee a year and we are married and that should be soon. thanks everyone for you opinions and advice.
Yes, I believe we got all that history. It appears that this "legal advisor" to whom you spoke reitereated what we have told you. Good luck.
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Uber Member
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Jul 22, 2012, 06:56 AM
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Originally Posted by Mjb82
Bio dad was only there a month from when my son was 2 months till 3 months, he stayed about 30 days then left and stopped talking to us. I have talk to a legal adviser and they said that because he walked out, failed to provide and because he is not on the birth certificate and because i am his birth mother i have all legal and parental responsabilities and until the court has a hearing and he is put on the certificate i can do wat i need. with the limit that the currents partner has to wait till its bee a year and we are married and that should be soon. thanks everyone for you opinions and advice.
In most States you need to be married for a year before you can adopt. Is that what you are repeating?
You still need the birth father's consent in order for yourr new partner (who will be your husband) to adopt.
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Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
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Jul 22, 2012, 07:15 AM
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Originally Posted by Mjb82
Bio dad was only there a month from when my son was 2 months till 3 months, he stayed about 30 days then left and stopped talking to us. I have talk to a legal adviser and they said that because he walked out, failed to provide and because he is not on the birth certificate and because i am his birth mother i have all legal and parental responsabilities and until the court has a hearing and he is put on the certificate i can do wat i need. with the limit that the currents partner has to wait till its bee a year and we are married and that should be soon. thanks everyone for you opinions and advice.
What you report that your legal advisor said is correct except for one key thing. Before an adoption can be granted, the bio father will need to be identified and his consent obtained. So, while YOU will have full rights to your child until a court rules otherwise, you cannot take away the bio father's rights, by allowing an adoption to someone else.
So lets look at this scenario. In a year or so, after you have been married long enough you go to court for your husband to adopt. The court will require that you get the bio father's consent. The bio father, just to be contrary, says no and shows up in court to say he wants to be a father now. The likelihood is the court will allow him visitation.
However, if you go after the father now for child support, which will involve him becoming the legal father with rights, then you have some leverage to get him to agree to the adoption. Because the adoption will end his support obligation.
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