[kenemily]

My name is Emily. I am a 25 year old single mother who could use a miracle right about now in my life. I'm not looking for sympathy or for a free hand out. What I am looking for is someone to invest in helping me get my life in order financially and advise me on how to go about getting my Grandmothers home put in my name as quickly as possible.

I don't expect for you to just help me without knowing why I am in such desperate need of help, so I am going to tell you a little about my life which will shed some light on why I need someone,anyone to assist me right now.Please believe me when I tell you that I don't want sympathy.

Well here goes...
My mother and father divorced when I was a year old and she re-married when I was five. As a child, my mother was beaten and raped by her father, which led to her having a drug and alcohol addiction that stayed with her until her untimely death. She was a great mom. She did the best that she could and I excepted that.

As a pre-teen, I was molested by my aunts common-law husband for 3 years. I never told anyone. I was too ashamed and thought it was my fault. At 13 I went to a party and was drinking a beer that ended up being spiked with a ruffe. That night I was raped and my virginity taken from me. I never told anyone about that either. Like I said earlier, I don't want sympathy. I have made peace with myself and forgiven the pigs that did these unspeakable things to me, with Gods help of course.

In May of 2000 I gave birth to a gorgeous baby boy named Angelo. A few months after he was born we found out that he has a heart condition called Aeortic Stenosis. Basically the main valve in his heart only has 2 openings and only one works, and that opening seeps blood back through. The doctors say he will need open heart surgery by the time he is in his adolescent years(as long as his condition doesn't worsen sooner) just to make it "Livable". I have been fighting for 3 years to get him Social Security Disability.

When he was 10 months old I left his father because I had Post-Partum Depression and felt I needed my moms support to get through it. My mom was living with my aunt and grandmother at the time, at my grandmothers home, helping both of them. My grandmother had been diagnosed with Alzheimers and was going downhill fast. My aunt had a traumatic brain injury and had a stroke. She was beaten into a comma by a boyfriend and while in the comma, suffered a stroke.

I began to feel much better and then soon realized that my mother had cleaned out my grandmothers 401K account. She began seeing a man and within 2 months, married him. I ended up taking care of both my aunt and grandmother by myself and had my mom leave the home because of what she had done. By this time, my son was 3 years old. I took cars of my grandmother 24 hours a day, 7 days a week until she passed away in May of 2004. My aunt then moved to a nursing home and I haven't heard from her since. My mom unexpectedly passed away 6 months after my grandmother. I still don't know to this day exactly how she died. I was told from "Emphysema".

I am still living in my grandmothers home. Its still in her name, and I need help getting it put into mine. I am willing to do whatever it takes. This home means a lot to me and I'm close to losing it financially. Its all I have left of my family. After my grandmother died we couldn't find a will. If you could find it in yiour heart to help me and my son keep our home, I would be forever grateful and have no problem paying you back when I can re-finance the house.

I am a very strong person because of what I have been through in my life. I don't have a negative outlook or feel sorry for myself. You can't have a testimony without a test, right?
All I need is someone willing to cut me a break and grant me a blessing.

Emily

[lacuran8626]

I would recommend that you call your state's Bar association and ask for the number for legal assistance. If you meet their financial requirements (that you are not able to afford to pay for legal assistance) you will be assigned by Legal Aid, or Legal Assistance, to an attorney who will take your case and represent you for free. You might have to pay some minor expenses like a court filing fee or so on, but these costs are usually less than a couple hundred dollars - far less than thousands to hire a lawyer and pay full price. Sometimes, they have funds to even paying these fees or can help you figure out a way to pay them.

As for your child, God Bless him. I had a sister born before they could treat infant heart problems and she did not live long, and I hope you will take some comfort that there is the technology to do so much more. I would recommend, if you haven't looked into it already, looking into hospitals that do research or teaching, and might be willing to take on his care for free either because they are funded to do so by charitable support, or because they see particular research or educational value in his case. One that comes to mind is St. Judes, which is very well known for providing free care - they will absolutely never turn down caring for a child due to inability to pay. If they are not in your area, they probably could give you ideas for where to go that is near you.

I hope that helps you some! I have had a much smoother life than yours, and would not claim to understand. I can recommend one thing though, which I've learned as a business woman. In times of hardship, try to think like those annoying men do - We women put everything in one pot and create all these connections between all the threads of our lives. Men look at each issue separately and blank the rest out. Multitasking is great for getting the kids homework done while also cooking dinner, but it is horrible for resolving truly difficult problems that each are entirely engaging of all you have to offer.

When you are caring for your sick child, focus only on that. When you are working on getting legal help to change ownership of the home to yourself, focus only on that. When you are working on resolving the emotional hurt of your own past, focus only on that. Even if finances are tough, set aside some kind of money, even just $10 a week, to do something you enjoy and make it your time... go to a movie, or if you can't get out without your child, rent one. Don't drink, don't smoke. Both will just make things worse and are expenses you don't need.

[lacuran8626]

Of course, you can't ignore your children ever - they are in your mind even if not in your immediate care at a moment. I guess what I'm saying is that if you mix together past abuse, your child's health crisis, your financial situation and more all at once, it will have an affect of paralysis and you won't be able to make progress on anything. I'm in a financial mess myself, so am no expert, but having been through some rough stuff as a single adoptive parent, I can say that trying to limit focus for periods on specific issues really makes it easier to get through a day emotionally, and to make progress