[ladystorm]

Can anybody tell me where my brother is? He hung himself on New Years day in his home. He was kneeling when he did this. I miss him so much and I have no answers. He was 43 years old, my only brother. My family is devastated and I'll never have any answers. I think of his suffering and it torments me. I guess I'm kind of waiting for some kind of sign to let me know that he's okay now.

[shygrneyzs]

Do you mean where is your brother's soul? I am not the one to answer that - that is between him and the Lord. We can never know what all happened and why. Only the Lord knew what was in your brother's mind and soul. Make you find peace someday about your brother.

[J_9]

Ladystorm, Let me start by thanking you for editing your post to include more details. I have deleted my original post as it sounds very cold-hearted since your recent edit.

I wish my deepest condolences to you and your family. This is a very hard time for you and words cannot express the sorrow and pain you must feel right now.

I am sure it is hard for you right now. However, you should rest in the comfort knowing that he is no longer suffering the pain that he was enduring while here on this plain of existence.

As Shy simply stated, the only one who knows what was in your brother's mind is and always will be between him and his Maker.

I can and do feel your pain as I have an uncle who left us by his own hand 2 years ago. While we will never know why, or what percipitated the action, we can rest knowing that they will never suffer to the extremes they have suffered here.

My heart goes out to you. May you find peace in your heart. Bless you, and I wish you the best.

[Allheart]

Hi Ladystorm,

Oh my heart goes out to you as well. I can not even imagine your pain. Ladystorm, this is only my belief, but I do believe your brother is safely resting in God's loving hands now. I truly do believe that. God is a loving and merciful God. I am so very sorry for your loss and the manner in which you lost your brother.

Ladystorm, I will keep your brother in my prayers as well as you and your family. Try your best to not reach for answers that may never come. Perhaps there are no answers to be had.

Ladystorm, it may be helpful to you to see if there are support groups in your area for people who have experienced the same tragic loss.

May your heart heal and your pain and sadness become less.

[RubyPitbull]

Ladystorm, I am so very sorry for your loss and the pain you are feeling. You have posed questions and thoughts that most survivors of a suicide by a loved one express. Unfortunately, as I think you know already, we can never find all the answers to our questions. Allheart has made a suggestion here that I think will benefit you greatly. I have attached some links that specifically deal with helping survivors of suicide find some sort of peace of mind. Please review them. One of these links lists groups by state. I think it would be very beneficial for you to go to a meeting if at all possible. You will be surrounded by others who are in the same situation as you are and will understand exactly what you are going through. You need to be able to get your feelings out in the open and have people who can help you through this difficult time.

American Association of Suicidology - Dedicated to the Understanding and Prevention of Suicide: Support Groups

http://lifegard.tripod.com/ssfaqs.html

Welcome to the National Suicide Bereavement Support Network Website

Surviving a Loved One’s Suicide

Healing After The Suicide Of A Loved One

[tinsign]

My heart goes out to you and your family, nobody can truly say where his soul is. Do please join some sort of support group with others going through the same thing.

[mexilover23]

Can anybody tell me where my brother is? He hung himself on New Years day in his home. He was kneeling when he did this. I miss him so much and I have no answers. He was 43 years old, my only brother. My family is devastated and I'll never have any answers. I think of his suffering and it torments me. I guess I'm kind of waiting for some kind of sign to let me know that he's okay now.

You will never know I guess... my 19 yr old brother hung himself in my moms garage 6 months ago on march 8. the question I ask myself is not where is my brother and is he suffering, its where am I at? How do I get to the point to deal with this. And when I do how do I accept it? Its like he ended his life and I feel like the suffereing continues in me... I hope it's a phase. Email me if you ever need to talk. I don't have answers but I have ears :)

[jessincali]

LadyStorm - I'm deeply sorry for your loss. I lost my father by suicide as well on June 28th 2006. I would like to tell you it gets easier - but it really doesn't. In time you will realize that he was in a place that you cannot understand. You have to remember- there is nothing you could have done to prevent this. I know I blamed myself (and still do in a way) - but you really can't - only he knew the pain he was in and he didn't see any other way out. I'm sorry you and your family have to feel this. I know how much it can tear apart your family. Know that you loved him and still do and keep his memories alive with you.
I'm here is you ever want to talk.
May you and your family find strength in each other.

[shanee]

I see the advice but the best advice is: Keep God first, stay in your word and support your family. Have gatherings, watch movies together and bond. Love on each other and squash anything that you have not forgiven each other for. For tomorrow is not promised to anyone! - Much love-

[crystalbivens]

First off I want to say that my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family, as far as where your brothers soul is I can tell you what I think and it may not make some people happy but here goes,I believe that God is our savior and he died for me, you, your brother, and every other human being. I don't believe he would pass up anyone because we are ALL his children no matter what, so I believe that regardless of how your brothers life ended he is with God and you will see him again someday.

[Fr_Chuck]

It is hard on all of us to lose a loved one no matter how the loss happens, And we all worrry about the soul of our loved ones ( at least those of us that belong to a religion that believes in souls and after life)
And it is a reasonable worry but in the end, if they die a hero in the war, or from a heart attack, the honest fact is that none of us can ever know since it is not our choice, and a persons relastionship with their god is just that between them and their god.

Unlike some of the older ideas we realise that those that kill thierself are not of sound mind and as such those actions would be forgiven by God since they are not the one really in control, and it is the choices in their life before that, that makes their relationship.

But life and the world does go on, and while not sounding wrong I hope, we live on his world and in this life and all realise that in the end one way or another we all die.

So what ever is another choices in this life is beyond out control, so we have to deal with our own life and how we live it.
So please get some counseling for your issues in your life.

I will say this, you ask about his suffering, and I assume you mean physcial at death, and really there was little. I have witnessed several people kill thierself during my life by hanging ( note I was in super high max prison where you could not even open their cell door until there were two to four officers present, so if a person was killing thierself, there is nothing one officer can do but watch them, till the correct number of officers arrive to open the door ** there are also a lot of fake attempts to try and get a officer to open the door by thierself.)
And with that said, esp when they are kneeling they control it completely till they pass out, so there is little direct pain more a passing out and then they go fairly peacefully.

Also are you also sure he was trying to kill hisself, some people actually do this as a thrill taking themselves to a point and then stoping, I have know a few people we believe was doing this as a thrill and went a little to far and died. If this is so, he may have had some perosnal issues but may not have intended to kill hisself, while this may not help any pain, it may if the fact he killed hisself is hurting you,
It will of course will not take away the actual pain of the loss.

And of course stay here and tell your story to others, you will find several people a week, sometimes a couple a night coming on here talking about killing thierself, Perhaps your story about the pain you felt will help others get the help they need.