[jessica2300]

Please..

My mother follows to be-with-me style and just hopes the experience every important moment in my life. She designed a best route so that she can drop me off to on her way to work reasonably; she waited for me two hours when I was in extra-curricular activates such as, basketball practice, student leadership, national honor society, and student government; she couldn’t miss a chance to wait with me to see my graduation and see me walk through that stage with my high school diploma. Her only purpose is to be with me, to join me in my life and be a crucial part of my important moments. Besides, she never forgets to hug me every time I did something great and always told me “I love you”. In contrast, my father didn’t do the same as mother. He didn’t have to be with me and even have to say sweet words to me. My father was busy all the time so that we can only spent time on dinner table fewer than five times a month; He never said a word to encourage me before when I graduate and went away for college, never had came to any of my basketball games, because was to busy at work. My father and I used to have dinner together in a restaurant with fewer than ten words during the whole process. But I have no doubt about his love because I know he loves me no matter what happens. But we still spend time as father and son playing basketball, going to gym, etc.

[teacherjenn4]

Your first sentence needs work. I'm not sure what be-with-me style means. Sentence two needs the word "to" removed , and it is a run- on sentence. Make shorter sentences instead of one long sentence. Check your spelling of "activates". You also need to stick with past or present tense. Get that fixed and I will help you again.