[quirkygal88]

I've been with my friend for more than 6 months now. I've known him for over a year. We have a special relationship, you could say that we are basically "-buddies". We end up having sex at least once a week and we've arranged it that way. We've never actually sat down and talked about it, it just kind of happened and we both understand that its supposed to be no strings attatched. And that we are only sleeping with each other, there is no having sex with other people. But that's where the simplicity ends. The first month we started sleeping together was the end of the semester for our school. So I went home and we figured that, that was the end of it. I was fine with it I never thought of him as more than anything but friends. Well over the summer he ends up being "friends" with another one of my friends. We weren't close or anything but we were still friends. Well he calls me afterwards and appoligizes saying that even though he wasn't my boyfriend it was still wrong. I really didn't care we were just friends and he was a big boy, I can't tell him where to put his . Well he continue's to sleep with her during the summer until a few weeks before I get back. He was never nice to her though he was always rude and nasty towards her, I know this because both she and he have told me so. But she still stuck around I get back and tell him that if he wants anything to do with me he has to pick me or her. Well he picks me and tells me that he used her all summer and she meant nothing to him and completely cuts her out of his life. It was really ugly too, she was completely hurt he was very mean to her and he always was I don't understand why she was with him. With me though he's not like that, I'm not just saying this, even our friends agree that he treats me extremely better than he had to her. Well we started up in September again and made an agreement that it would only be the two of us. We were not going to have sex with kiss or do anything with anyone else. If one of us did then that would be the end of what we have. I never had any type of feelings for him it was strictly platonic. The sex is always great, well most of the time =). And up until a little while ago I never wanted more. Now I'm always confused. Sometimes I think he wants more because he always tells me stupid things like "claim your " or "get ur priortys strait" or " my oppinion should mean more than anyone else's" and " i should be high on ur list". So yea the thing is I don't trust him, I'm always afraid he's going to just up and leave me like he did to her but he's said that " I would never do that to you because you dont' deserve that, and I care way to much about u to do that to you". And lately I've been acting a little strange I get defensive with him, only because I'm always afraid he's going to catch on and know that I'm starting to grown an "attatchment" and just drop it. I really love him as a friend and I don't know what I want, and he's asked me why I've been acting so weird the last couple of weeks and I just told him nothing. I don't know how to talk to him and more importantly I don't know what to say to him. Yea I know its long and if u actually finish reading... any advice is helpful...

[cremedies]

Go to church young lady... you need God in your life.

[WhenWillIBeLoved]

Go to church young lady... you need God in your life.

Wow! What a rude, insensitive remark. This woman is demanding empathy, understanding and genuine advice. How dare you come to this board to impose your religious views on another. Go proselytize somewhere else. I am a Christian. I feel it is wrong to shove my religion down another's throat. Jesus showed the hurting and heartbroken compassion. He shared His Father's words with them. He mollified them. That is what you should be doing. Show scripture to support your religious views, yet don't expect someone to accept you definition of God. I believe God gives us all free will. Free will to reject or accept Him. Being a judgmental jerk is no way to "win" others to Christ. You need a more gentle, less judgmental approach. Your sanctimonous attitude is repulsing.

[Wildcat21]

That's true love. Love starts with FRIENDSHIP, THEN RESPECT, PASSION.

You obivously were friends for a long time and discussed things - may be even deeper than normal 'friends'.

Sounds like you respect him a great deal... so WAM!!

PASSION is forming...

Which leads to love.


And Jesus freak - leave this gal alone!

[Wildcat21]

Also - check out articles at this site:

www.lovetactics.com

You will get STRONG insite from this.

This blog has some in depth discussions. You may find some answer there and ask questions:

http://www.relationships.blog-city.com

Sound like your man is a pretty cool dude. I'd hang on to him.

[WhenWillIBeLoved]

That's true love. Love starts with FRIENDSHIP, THEN RESPECT, PASSION.

You obivously were friends for a long time and discussed things - may be even deeper than normal 'friends'.

Sounds like you respect him a great deal... so WAM!!

PASSION is forming...

Which leads to love.


And Jesus freak - leave this gal alone!

Your positivity is refreshing. You are a wonderful example of kindness and empathy.

However, I question this guys motives. He seems very lust driven. Of course, that's normal. Hormones and tat that good stuff. I think I would be vigilant of his fidelity and propensity to lie. The most important thing is that he treats you with respect and courtesy. If he meets your needs and makes you happy, pursue a relationship. Don't let this guy control you, abuse you emotionally/mentally, or play mind games with you. Be careful. Broken hearts suck.

Side note: Controlling holier-than-thou hypocrites can shove it where there is no natural illumination. Most only escalate the problem at hand by imposing stringent moral codes on other. All of which they usually don't adhere to themselves.

[cremedies]

Wow! What a rude, insensitive remark. This woman is demanding empathy, understanding and genuine advice. How dare you come to this board to impose your religious views on another. Go proselytize somewhere else. I am a Christian. I feel it is wrong to shove my religion down another's throat. Jesus showed the hurting and heartbroken compassion. He shared His Father's words with them. He mollified them. That is what you should be doing. Show scripture to support your religious views, yet don't expect someone to accept you definition of God. I believe God gives us all free will. Free will to reject or accept Him. Being a judgmental jerk is no way to "win" others to Christ. You need a more gentle, less judgmental approach. Your sanctimonous attitude is repulsing.

I only suggested that the girl seek out guidance from GOD. I was not trying to save her soul. Your judgment of me and my innocent remark would certainly not make other Christians proud. I offered no judgement... only a suggestion. She could either accept it or let it fly by. As you say... we all have free will. Your statement only shows me just how close to GOD you really are, for you did the same thing to me that you so wrongly accused me of doing, but only in a much ruder way. May GOD bless you.

[WhenWillIBeLoved]

I only suggested that the girl seek out guidance from GOD. I was not trying to save her soul. Your judgment of me and my innocent remark would certainly not make other Christians proud. I offered no judgement... only a suggestion. She could either accept it or let it fly by. As you say... we all have free will. Your statement only shows me just how close to GOD you really are, for you did the same thing to me that you so wrongly accused me of doing, but only in a much ruder way. May GOD bless you.

The original poster wasn't seeking guidance from God. She wanted the honest advice of another human being. She wanted advice in a timely fashion. Competent adults can decide for themselves a system of morals that is right for them. The Judeo-Chrisitan dogma/doctrine is not accepted as veridical by everyone. People come to God in His time. Not yours or mine. The bottom line is you offerend no advice of any real substance. If the original poster wasn't religious, I'd venture to say your post could have offended her. It sure would me.

[gaia213]

Cremedies you are an idiot because god is nothing that he's helped people and you want to put in religion in others

I am ussualy short to say something on people but all I can say is that I hate you

Quirky if this is real love you should have a conversation about all your feelings if you feel bad about him it might be instincts/intuition which is mostly right


So be careful but do not worry of him leaving you I am sorry for putting some rage in the upper sentences but such things make me furious



I think it is true love but always be careful if it is true love your life has a very good point which you will not lose

I am saying this

Put out a conversation with him be joyfull do not fear but always be careful

[gaia213]

And I am not a person beliving in god I do not see that people believing in god are having better lies around the world then people not believing and I have my own reasons so il never believe in god and sorry for why rage ut it makes me furious it might be because of my biological growth and over aggresion but still as WhenWillIBeLoved said:how dare you

I have NOTHING against people believing every human has a free will and they decide if they do want to believe it or not

I am hoping for the best for you quirkygal88

[Jiser]

This thread is nearly 2 years old!

[gaia213]

It may be yet I hope your friend will understand and such does unfortunately happen and do not care what fools think about you one day they shall indeed live the hell they are utilizing theyr time making others suffer to make them feel better stand in life be strong and do not let them get you

[gaia213]

Happy birthday thread!Now I will go and search for the best way of committing suicide!yay!