Check out some similar questions!

dishe hara mon · Jul 15, 2012, 01:56 PM

I don't want to say those words and get weak again, but the truth is I love him... yes, I do love him... he loves me too, but I can't accept our relation.I have some serious physical problems,for which I can't give him that kind of happiness, what everyone wants.I mean I can't make him happy in physical relation. So, I decided to stay away from him forever to end this.but he persistently begged me to not leave him, at least stay as a friend. But I love him, and even if we continue to be friends, my feelings will not go away, as long as he is in front of me! I am even afraid of that, his future partner will be sad because of being dishonest with her, where I will be the reason!I do care for his better future,so I made him understand my problems and told to stay away from now on. But he desperately denied my decisions every time saying that he doesn't care about future! it seems a pain now... what should I do? Should I stop all connections with him and forget, or stay as a friend forgetting the feelings?

JudyKayTee · Jul 15, 2012, 02:03 PM

Originally Posted by dishe hara mon

i don't wanna say those words and get weak again, but the truth is i love him....yes, i do love him......he loves me too, but i can't accept our relation.i have some serious physical problems,for which i can't give him that kind of happiness, what everyone wants.i mean i can't make him happy in physical relation. so, i decided to stay away from him forever to end this.but he persistently begged me to not leave him, at least stay as a friend. but i love him, and even if we continue to be friends, my feelings will not go away, as long as he is in front of me! i am even afraid of that, his future partner will be sad because of being dishonest with her, where i will be the reason!i do care for his better future,so i made him understand my problems and told to stay away from now on. but he desperately denied my decisions every time saying that he doesn't care about future!!it seems a pain now.....what should i do? should i stop all connections with him and forget, or stay as a friend forgetting the feelings??

What are the options? Are you dating, just friends, planning to marry? If you're friends I don't see the physical relationship being a problem.

If you are in love - BOTH of you - it's something else.

What are your ages?

dishe hara mon · Jul 15, 2012, 02:17 PM

We are friends since 3 years, last year he proposed me... I denied thinking about the future. Both of us are 19 years old.I also thought to continue our friendship... but its quite impossible to forget those feelings for him, as long as we talk and care each other. Not only that I wished him for a better partner, but he replied he will not get engaged to any one else.he does what he says, still he hasn't accepted any one else.there are lots of beautiful girls who love him, but he doesn't even care them. He is such a persistent guy, even I tried to get him engaged with a gorgeous girl! He just denied... I am in a big trouble.. please help...

chiradeep · Jul 18, 2012, 04:57 AM

"Dishe Hara Mon'' - Mind which has lost direction... Right? But it can be given a proper direction too.

I can understand your heartache, dillema & confusion. I am a heart patient from birth, had lots of complicacies even today, had gone through lots of pain in life, had two major heart surgeries in life already yet married for last 7 years, happy with my wife. So I think I can help you in this matter as I know how I had coped and have been with life. What's your physical problem? You can tell here... When somebody wants to love you lifetime even knowing your problem then he can be a gem of a person. Don't give a name to your relationship but just keep a pure friendship as both of you are very young for marriage. Time will tell you what to do. So don't lose a good friend but wait few years to think about him as a husband. Keep in touch for more help. God bless...

JudyKayTee · Jul 18, 2012, 05:02 AM

Originally Posted by dishe hara mon

we are friends since 3 years, last year he proposed me.....i denied thinking about the future. both of us are 19 years old.i also thought to continue our friendship...but its quite impossible to forget those feelings for him, as long as we talk and care each other. not only that i wished him for a better partner, but he replied he will not get engaged to any one else.he does what he says, still he hasn't accepted any one else.there are lots of beautiful girls who love him, but he doesn't even care them. he is such a persistent guy, even i tried to get him engaged with a gorgeous girl!! he just denied.....i am in a big trouble..please help...

I'm missing something here - you tried to get him engaged to a gorgeous girl, even though you love him and can't forget him.

You don't want him because he doesn't fit in with your plans for the future BUT you can't forget him and are in "a big trouble."

Leave him alone - his feelings for you are not reciprocated at the same level and you are only hurting him.

JudyKayTee · Jul 18, 2012, 05:03 AM

Originally Posted by chiradeep

"Dishe Hara Mon'' - Mind which has lost direction... Right? But it can be given a proper direction too.

I can understand your heartache, dillema & confusion. I am a heart patient from birth, had lots of complicacies even today, had gone through lots of pain in life, had two major heart surgeries in life already yet married for last 7 years, happy with my wife. So I think I can help you in this matter as I know how I had coped and have been with life. What's your physical problem?

How is this related to the question? I'm sorry you aren't well but, again, I don't see any mention by OP of a medical problem.

chiradeep · Jul 18, 2012, 05:08 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

How is this related to the question? I'm sorry you aren't well but, again, I don't see any mention by OP of a medical problem.

Maám, it's OK. Don't be sorry for anything. But what do you mean by your statement, 'OP of a medical problem'? Please explain...

JudyKayTee · Jul 18, 2012, 05:11 AM

Originally Posted by chiradeep

Maám, it's ok. Dont be sorry for anything. But what do you mean by your statement? Please explain...

Here, let me repeat it:

You said: "I am a heart patient from birth, had lots of complicacies even today, had gone through lots of pain in life, had two major heart surgeries in life already yet married for last 7 years, happy with my wife. So I think I can help you in this matter as I know how I had coped and have been with life. What's your physical problem?"

Where are you reading that OP (original poster) has a medical problem?

chiradeep · Jul 18, 2012, 05:15 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Here, let me repeat it:

You said: "I am a heart patient from birth, had lots of complicacies even today, had gone through lots of pain in life, had two major heart surgeries in life already yet married for last 7 years, happy with my wife. So I think I can help you in this matter as I know how I had coped and have been with life. What's your physical problem?"

Where are you reading that OP (original poster) has a medical problem?

What can be the meaning of this by the OP: ''I have some serious physical problems.''

JudyKayTee · Jul 18, 2012, 05:19 AM

Originally Posted by chiradeep

What can be the meaning of this by the OP: ''I have some serious physical problems.''

Hopefully she'll come back and explain what " i can't make him happy in physical relation" means. I don't know if it's a physical problem (as you believe) or a sexual problem or something in between.

chiradeep · Jul 18, 2012, 05:23 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Hopefully she'll come back and explain what " i can't make him happy in physical relation" means. I don't know if it's a physical problem (as you believe) or a sexual problem or something in between.

Yes... you're right ma'am, she is unable to express her clearly. Let her reply to me or you, then only we can really go in a proper direction.
Regards,
Thanks...

Fr_Chuck · Jul 18, 2012, 05:58 AM

I believe if there is a medical issue she has already judged what she things life should be like.

Women in wheel chairs, women blind, women who have no use of arms or legs all find love at times. It takes finding the right person. I believe she has limited knowledge of happiness and relationshiips. She may be condeeming herself to a lonely life because she does not understand real love. She is judging from what she thinks,

chiradeep · Jul 18, 2012, 06:38 AM

You're very right!

dishe hara mon · Jul 20, 2012, 02:50 PM

Firstly thank you all for your kind precious advices... :-) I think I've already created a big mess here... sorry for that.but in between this days,he informed suddenly that he will be going to abroad for studying.so there is a big chance for me to not to keep connection with him! I can easily avoid him then! Earnestly I don't want to use him in any way... I've destroyed all most all of my memories and feelings for... ;-( its OK right? I am bearing this pain for his good after all! All I need to do,I think,not get weak for him ever! It will make clear to him that he doesn't matter to me anymore! but I am also destroying myself with the feelings.. ;-(... its nothing, I can do any thing for him... :-)i am doing it cause I don't want to be a burden to him in future.hopefully what I am doing is right..? Waiting for your answers...

JudyKayTee · Jul 20, 2012, 02:55 PM

Originally Posted by dishe hara mon

firstly thank u all for your kind precious advices....:-) i think i've already created a big mess here.....sorry for that.but in between this days,he informed suddenly that he will be going to abroad for studying.so there is a big chance for me to not to keep connection with him!! i can easily avoid him then!! earnestly i don't wanna use him in any way....i've destroyed all most all of my memories and feelings for...;-( its OK right? i am bearing this pain for his good after all!! all i need to do,i think,not get weak for him ever!! it will make clear to him that he doesn't matter to me anymore!!but i am also destroying myself with the feelings..;-( .....its nothing, i can do any thing for him....:-)i am doing it cause i don't wanna be a burden to him in future.hopefully what i am doing is right.....?! waiting for your answers.....

Honestly, I have no idea what you're talking about. He's going abroad, he's leaving, you won't see him. You are destroying memories and feelings (?) and bearing the pain "for his good," destroying yourself in the process.

I just don't understand what the problem is - you've been asked, you haven't answered.

You are either being very noble because you don't "wanna" be a burden to him OR very dramatic for one reason or another.

So - if you don't want him in your life have no contact with him. End it. If you do want him in your life, then have contact with him. He's going to be overseas, anyway, out of your immediate reach.

Stop stringing him along in the name of being noble.

dishe hara mon · Jul 20, 2012, 03:03 PM

I don't want to being noble.. :-) I don't want to string him along either... :-) so the easy painful answer is 'END IT'.:-) yup! I got it! hope he will forget me too... I think I should not say him that I will miss him! right?

chiradeep · Jul 20, 2012, 03:04 PM

Originally Posted by dishe hara mon

firstly thank u all for your kind precious advices....:-) i think i've already created a big mess here.....sorry for that.but in between this days,he informed suddenly that he will be going to abroad for studying.so there is a big chance for me to not to keep connection with him!! i can easily avoid him then!! earnestly i don't wanna use him in any way....i've destroyed all most all of my memories and feelings for...;-( its OK right? i am bearing this pain for his good after all!! all i need to do,i think,not get weak for him ever!! it will make clear to him that he doesn't matter to me anymore!!but i am also destroying myself with the feelings..;-( .....its nothing, i can do any thing for him....:-)i am doing it cause i don't wanna be a burden to him in future.hopefully what i am doing is right.....?! waiting for your answers.....

At least you should answer 'why you don't want to be a burden to him when you both love each other?' Do you have any health problem? Why can't you just tell here what's happening or what has happened to you? I mean your ownself.

JudyKayTee · Jul 20, 2012, 03:12 PM

Originally Posted by dishe hara mon

i don't wanna being noble..:-) i don't wanna string him along either...:-) so the easy painful answer is 'END IT'.:-) yup! i got it!!hope he will forget me too......i think i should not say him that i will miss him!!right??

Right, if you're ending it forever it's probably not terribly smart to say you'll miss him. Right, that's right.

Of course, you won't have the opportunity to say anything to him because you're ending it forever, right?

dishe hara mon · Jul 20, 2012, 03:24 PM

Hmm... I will end it... definitely! I am such an unlucky person cursed with a genetic problem that I can not be together with him ever... so better cut the strings... @ JudyKayTee
I have a genetic skin problem that is called Lichen planus on my left knee... :-) I didn't even know that for me it's a genetic curse, before few weeks I was told the truth by my parents. While telling my parents were more upset looking than me... :-)so its better not to cheat anybody feeling impossible love for them, I hope so.. :-)@ chiradeep

dishe hara mon · Jul 20, 2012, 03:24 PM

I have a genetic skin problem that is called Lichen planus on my left knee... :-) I didn't even know that for me it's a genetic curse, before few weeks I was told the truth by my parents. While telling my parents were more upset looking than me... :-)so its better not to cheat anybody feeling impossible love for them, I hope so.. :-)@ chiradeep