[concern mommy]

My husband and I have a large family and we are wanting to move from Missouri to Florida to start a new business and for me to go back to school. I sent the 60 day notification and now my ex husband says he is going to take my kids away from me because of us wanting to move to better our lives amd children's lives. We have offered a new visitation schedule and have even told my ex he can come anytime to Florida during the school season while I have them to visit with the children. He is not married and has been living with his parents and has no home of his own. Is he just going to be able to take my primary rights from me?

[Synnen]

He may be able to stop you from moving with the children, yes.

You cannot move if it will disrupt his visitation UNLESS he AGREES to a new visitation schedule. YOUR life doesn't take precedence over his ability to bond with his children.

[concern mommy]

OK... when the children are with him he pawns them off on his parents or girlfriends and told me tonight that I forced him to have the boys and then tells me if I pursue with the relocation he will go for full custody so that I will have to pay him childsupport instead of him paying. He is very controlling my children cry because they have to go. I have a five yr old that begs to come home everyday that he has to be there and I constantly have to encourage the kids to try to find something fun to do while they are there. Its like he is punishing me and my children because he still wants to control me. I have a new husband who has poured his heart out for me and my children and we are trying to get to Florida to go into a family business with my family andprosper

[concern mommy]

We want better schools for our children then what they attend now and just want greater opportunities for the children. My ex has been invited to come at anytime to Florida to visit even outside of the visiting chedules. We just want more for the kids.

[Synnen]

I understand what you are saying, but you HAVE to do it through the courts. Unfortunately, if you have no proof of abuse or neglect, you can't take away his rights. You also can't change court-ordered visitation without going back to court.

And--if he fights it, you might be stuck with it.

If I were you, I'd get a VERY good lawyer before I attempted any kind of move, and go back to court and get the visitation schedule LEGALLY changed.

[concern mommy]

We have a very good lawyer that has won quite a few relocation cases and is pretty sure he can get things changed for us. I was just wanting to see how others thought about it. Thanks for commenting back.

[ScottGem]

What we think doesn't matter, its what the law says and the judge thinks that matters. The law says you cannot change a court ordered visitation schedule without the approval of the court. The judge is charged with ruling on the law with the consideration of the best interests of the children.

So you need to show to the judge that a) this move benefits the children, b) that you are being reasonable in offering a new visitation agreement and c) that he is acting out of spite and not a real desire to be with the children. Sounds to me, like you can make a case for all three points.

[Fr_Chuck]

The issue here is that yes, most likely if the father does not have an attorney and you have a high dollar one, you will win, not because it is right but because of better attorneys.

You will have to show how he will afford to travel to Fl, are you offering to pay for that travel.
Normally you would be asked to pay for the travel of the kids to him with him getting long visits in MO over vacations and holidays.

The real issue here is yes he can stop the move and while your attorney has won many, ask him how many they have lost also .

[concern mommy]

I have offered to pay for all of the transportation costs of the children and have told him he is welcome to come to Florida at anytime and would be able to see and spend time with our children. I have also given him all of the summer and other times during the school season when the children have school breaks in the visitation schedule. He has told me many of times that I would never get out of Missouri and he has done everything he can to try to hold me and my children back. Others have seen that he has done this just to try to punish me. Now that I have been remarried for 2 yrs my husband and I know that there is no future for us or our children here and that it is necessary to make this move to financially enhance our lives and our children's lives.

[ScottGem]

You are talking logic and common sense. But the law isn't always about logic and common sense. Hopefully in this case it will be. But you won't know until you go before a court and plead your case.