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    Mlleetes's Avatar
    Mlleetes Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 9, 2012, 11:56 AM
    Chef boyfriend doesn't initiate sex often enough
    My boyfriend and I have been together for two and a half years. It's the longest relationship I've ever had. He's a chef. I'm an artist currently waiti.g tables. When we met, I was a cook. So, I understand the intense pressure of the job, and the crazy hours, but I fail to understand why he doesn't want to have sex more than once every other week! I have a need for more sex with him, but we only have sex when he initiates it. I've backed off and tried subtle hints, and I've tried to be patient. I have talked to him about this, but it didn't seem to make a difference.
    Are some guys totally turned off by a woman wanting sex? How do I proceed, because I don't know if this phase is just a phase.
    CravenMorhead's Avatar
    CravenMorhead Posts: 4,532, Reputation: 1065
    Adult Sexuality Expert
    		  
    #2

    Jul 9, 2012, 01:50 PM
    You say you understand but I am not sure you actually do. There is a bunch of pressure on him and probably after a hard day, the last thing he wants is sex.

    Could also have a low libido. Has be been to a doctor recently?
    Mobley119's Avatar
    Mobley119 Posts: 142, Reputation: 6
    Junior Member
    		  
    #3

    Jul 10, 2012, 01:39 PM
    When my husband is especially exhausted from work he won't want sex except maybe once a week, if that. It's not that he's not turned on by me, it's just that for him it's not an enjoyable thing to do to the point where he has a hard time, or doesn't finish. So we've gotten to the point where when we do have sex we make sure it's really special. Since we've been doing that we've been having more of it, since there's less pressure on him. And in between if we feel in the mood but are just exhausted, we will do non sex things that are quick but get our rocks off. Maybe that could work for your situation?
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #4

    Jul 10, 2012, 01:50 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Mobley119 View Post
    When my husband is especially exhausted from work he won't want sex except maybe once a week, if that. It's not that he's not turned on by me, it's just that for him it's not an enjoyable thing to do to the point where he has a hard time, or doesn't finish. So we've gotten to the point where when we do have sex we make sure it's really special. Since we've been doing that we've been having more of it, since there's less pressure on him. And in between if we feel in the mood but are just exhausted, we will do non sex things that are quick but get our rocks off. Maybe that could work for your situation?

    Wow - how long have you been married?

    Non sex things that get your rocks off? I haven't heard that phrase since I was in College. Anyway, what non-sex things "get [your] rocks off"?
    cinderlla's Avatar
    cinderlla Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Jul 10, 2012, 05:18 PM
    I'm the same, by boyfriend 36 years old, can go weeks with out, I'm so frustrated I complain and it makes things worse. He has gotten a full health check that's came back fine and even tried a differnent diet. It's not never but only when he wants, I've giving up trying and but still want to sort it, but it's looking now that we might have to face the cruel truth that there is no chemistry between us, as much as we get along togethe
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