[NewbieGF]

My fiancé and I have been together a total of a year and a half. We had an amazing sex life. He and I both like kinky sex, too. For the first 6 months he performed oral almost every time we had sex, and I do for him, too. All of a sudden, he stopped doing it. Or when we are in the middle of sex he'll ask for head, and I'll get him off, and he refuses to reciprocate anything. So... I've just been laying there afterwards feeling used. Recently when he asked for head while we were doing it, I told him I would right after I got myself off (because he wasn't interested in helping me), and he called me selfish. Tonight he got on top of me, kissed my neck and started sex. I wasn't staying wet, so I gave him oral. He asked why I can't get off, and I said no foreplay. And he rolled over and went to sleep. I feel like crap. I know I'm clean; I shower every night. Why did he stop? And is this how I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life? I feel like he was kind of a fraud, and made himself out to be this great lover, when actually I feel like he's selfish. I am feeling down and insecure and would like insight please.

[JudyKayTee]

Ask him - you are planning to marry this person and you need to be able to discuss problems and issues with him. This qualifies as a problem or issue.

No, it's not how you're supposed to spend the rest of your life - but only you can change things.

Decide if the relationship is worthwhile to you - either continue on like this or talk to him. I don't see any other way.

If he's selfish, well, that's how he is and only you can change that.

[deepseadiver57]

Dump him, he " IS " selfish and unworthy of you.

[Fr_Chuck]

I will agree, when he called you selfish, that was silly, he was the selfish one. All you said you would after he would.

You need to get him to talk or get into counseling

[Mobley119]

Men tend to get lazy sexually after awhile. Sounds like his laziness is the selfish kind. You definitely need to talk to him about it, not during a sexual encounter and when he's in a good mood. If he still refuses to get you off then you either need to accept that, not get him off and hope he realizes he's being an idiot and doesn't just use porn or cheat, or end it.

[smoothy]

People tend to start acting themselves after about a year or so of dating... so you are seeing the real him. Not so pretty is it.

Might be time to rethink this relationship.. unless you are happy being a sperm receptacle.

[Whatever2011]

Hun let me be brutally honest with you. Base on how he start acting out, it clearly shows that he was not into giving oral. I think he started giving you oral pleasures, because you guys talk about this and he realize that you wanted it or like it so much. I am sure he had this thing all planned out, because by giving you oral pleasure and sex you would stay around for a very long time ( great foreplay is a great package in a relationship, so either partner is not lacking anything). He enjoys receiving but not give, which is quite unfair and very selfish. Why start something knowing that you can finish it? Baby girl you are not selfish at all, you are smart. I see foreplay as a two way stream and when he decides to stop giving you oral, it is only smart of you not to give him either. Yo need to sit down with him and talk about this matter, because it is very important and should not be ignore. Life is too short to not be happy and enjoy the moments while it last. You do not want to be in a relationship, that does not make you happy and contented.

I wish you all the luck in the world honey, I would do the same as I previously mention above in my relationship.

My fiancé and I have been together a total of a year and a half. We had an amazing sex life. He and I both like kinky sex, too. For the first 6 months he performed oral almost every time we had sex, and I do for him, too. All of a sudden, he stopped doing it. Or when we are in the middle of sex he'll ask for head, and I'll get him off, and he refuses to reciprocate anything. So...I've just been laying there afterwards feeling used. Recently when he asked for head while we were doing it, I told him I would right after I got myself off (because he wasn't interested in helping me), and he called me selfish. Tonight he got on top of me, kissed my neck and started sex. I wasn't staying wet, so I gave him oral. He asked why I can't get off, and I said no foreplay. And he rolled over and went to sleep. I feel like crap. I know I'm clean; I shower every night. Why did he stop?? And is this how I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life? I feel like he was kind of a fraud, and made himself out to be this great lover, when actually I feel like he's selfish. I am feeling down and insecure and would like insight please.