[MorganFreud]

I only became friends with a girl called Charlotte this year. It was an ongoing joke that she was a lesbian with her best friend Lara and this they were both fine with and played along with the joke. I'm bi and I'm still in the closet about it so I was curious as to if the joking was a little more serious than people knew. Charlotte looked at Lara in a "deeply in love" kind of way. This I would always see as Charlotte and I became closer friends the more classes we were in together. For the most part, I kept quiet about it. But not to long ago it was revealed that Charlotte was moving to the UK. That was a shock. So I decided to finally ask her what her sexual orientation was over the phone one night. She said that her and Lara had kissed experimentally and continued to talk about her sexual confusion. I understood and gave her advice but I still kept my sexuality under raps. I wanted to be sure that I could trust her and that she could trust me. After about a week after that phone call, Charlotte and I would sit and talk about that sort of stuff and what confused her. I wanted to help her out a bit. After awhile, I told her I was bi and she told me that she wanted to tell Lara how she felt and that she wanted to be with her. I said it wasn't a great idea, feeling a little jealous after being so close and personal with her after all those weeks. But she really wanted to let Lara know before she left. I explained that if it went badly then she would leave here on a bad note and look back on everything in relation to this place and associate it with bad things. She said that she would be able to handle the rejection if it happened. By this point, I was desperate- I had really come to realize how much I liked her and I thought at the time that Lara had those same feelings. I thought helping her out and giving her advice and sharing so much was going to the dumps once Charlotte let Lara know.
The next day, Charlotte told Lara about everything and as it turns out, Lara is straight. Charlotte didn't seem the least bit upset about the rejection and I kept asking her if she was feeling okay and checking up on her because I was in such disbelief.
Then she was mine for the taking... But not really because there were no signs she was even the tiniest smidge interested in me. Ever since then Ive been getting so many odd vibes from her. Like this one time she rated everyone in our social group out of 10 for looks. She gave me a 5/10. That was a cold blow. Because I have always thought she was beautiful. And then I think she mentioned that this other girl was her second preference. That disappointed me, so I decided to hint at something and teased her "jokingly" saying that I was quite offended that I didn't get the second preference. She replied saying something like, "Wait seriously?" "good because that would be creepy".
She is now leaving in 5 days and I'm not sure if I should confess my feelings to her before she goes. She been giving me mixed signals and didn't show any gracefulness when I threw her an away party and requested a song for her at an ice skating rink.
Maybe I should follow the same advice as I gave to her about Lara. I don't want to be hypocritical. What should I do?

[JudyKayTee]

I only became friends with a girl called Charlotte this year. It was an ongoing joke that she was a lesbian with her best friend Lara and this they were both fine with and played along with the joke. I'm bi and I'm still in the closet about it so I was curious as to if the joking was a little more serious than people knew. Charlotte looked at Lara in a "deeply in love" kinda way. This I would always see as Charlotte and I became closer friends the more classes we were in together. For the most part, I kept quiet about it. But not to long ago it was revealed that Charlotte was moving to the UK. That was a shock. So I decided to finally ask her what her sexual orientation was over the phone one night. She said that her and Lara had kissed experimentally and continued to talk about her sexual confusion. I understood and gave her advice but I still kept my sexuality under raps. I wanted to be sure that I could trust her and that she could trust me. After about a week after that phone call, Charlotte and I would sit and talk about that sort of stuff and what confused her. I wanted to help her out a bit. After awhile, I told her I was bi and she told me that she wanted to tell Lara how she felt and that she wanted to be with her. I said it wasn't a great idea, feeling a little jealous after being so close and personal with her after all those weeks. But she really wanted to let Lara know before she left. I explained that if it went badly then she would leave here on a bad note and look back on everything in relation to this place and associate it with bad things. She said that she would be able to handle the rejection if it happened. By this point, I was desperate- I had really come to realize how much I liked her and I thought at the time that Lara had those same feelings. I thought helping her out and giving her advice and sharing so much was going to the dumps once Charlotte let Lara know.
The next day, Charlotte told Lara about everything and as it turns out, Lara is straight. Charlotte didn't seem the least bit upset about the rejection and I kept asking her if she was feeling okay and checking up on her because I was in such disbelief.
Then she was mine for the taking... But not really because there were no signs she was even the tiniest smidge interested in me. Ever since then Ive been getting so many odd vibes from her. Like this one time she rated everyone in our social group out of 10 for looks. She gave me a 5/10. That was a cold blow. Because I have always thought she was beautiful. And then I think she mentioned that this other girl was her second preference. That disappointed me, so I decided to hint at something and teased her "jokingly" saying that I was quite offended that I didn't get the second preference. She replied saying something like, "Wait seriously?" "good because that would be creepy".
She is now leaving in 5 days and I'm not sure if I should confess my feelings to her before she goes. She been giving me mixed signals and didn't show any gracefulness when I threw her an away party and requested a song for her at an ice skating rink.
Maybe I should follow the same advice as I gave to her about Lara. I don't want to be hypocritical. What should I do?

I don't see the point of saying anything - she's leaving, right? If she says yes, no or maybe I don't see anything making a difference.

And the phrase "Then she was mine for the taking... " would be no less offensive if you were talking about a male. That very well may sum up the attitude that is giving you problems in this relationship.

[joypulv]

I suppose you could say something like 'It's probably better for me that you are moving because I was falling for you.'
But she seems shallow in her rating people on looks and treating you as though you aren't one of her Beautiful People. On the other hand, you seem sort of clueless. It really does sound like you couldn't possibly make her heart go pitter pat. (And I have to agree with the above, you have the wrong attitude about people as possessions.)