[pjd30626]

My girlfriend broke up with me three weeks ago. Before we got together we had been friends for 3 years. I had been in love with her for 1.5 years and thought about her all the time, but because she was with her ex I didn't tell her how I felt. During this time she used to talk and flirt with me, and showed interest. We got together one month after her breakup with her ex; they had broken up on numerous occasions. When we got together she told me that she was completely over her ex and that she hated him because he was horrible, controlling and insecure. I believed her.

We were very much in love and spent a lot of time together, I thought she was in love with me. We were very close and had loads in common. After 2 months everything was going great, but out of the blue she went cold and told me I was too good for her etc. and broke up with me. I was devastated and upset and I don't know what I did wrong. She went completely no contact. Last week I find out that she had spent her birthday with her ex and my friends showed me pictures of her all over her ex.

She was my first girlfriend and I thought she loved me, but she dumped me for her "horrible, controlling and insecure" ex. I feel so worthless and used. Did I mean anything to her? Was I just a rebound? I just need advice because I have never felt so low in my life.

[C0bra_M3nace]

Don't let that scumbag make you feel low in your life. Feel high, high because you learned a valuable lesson. That she was not the one. My friend, some people take a lifetime to find their true love, be lucky you didn't spend a lifetime finding out she wasn't.

Take this as a new beginning, forget the fact that, yeah, you probably were a rebound and, yeah, she probably did use you to try and forget, which is wrong. Just move on, turn the page and write a new chapter. Life is what you make it, so make it better today.

Go no contact, never speak to her again, when your friends pull out pictures, take out the sword and fight the demon that wants to look and don't. Try some new things, hang out with your friends, stay busy and active and distract yourself from her. Eventually your heart will rebuild and let go, and you will feel better.

Time is your friend, he will help you move on, and in time you will find someone new, maybe even the one. So get out there and write the next chapter, make it a good one!

Best of luck!

[pjd30626]

This is my first breakup and heartbreak, so I know that I am going through new feelings. In one day I can experience multiple feelings from joy to depression. Then one moment I feel like forgetting my ex and telling myself I can move on, and then the next moment I feel like forgiving her and wanting her back. I am not a sensitive guy but I find myself crying once or twice a day. I know i need to move on! I have followed advice like having fun, being with friends and family, getting a hobby, doing things I love e.t.c. but I just can't get her out of my head! Its driving me mad because I continuosly beat myself up about it and I know shouldn't.

I just don't know what to do to get her out of my head so I can stop these crazy mood swings and crying.

Any help or advice e.t.c. is appreciated :)

[durpstick]

Hey bro, that's a really ty situation to be in and I feel for you.
You have to realize that this girl is a waste of your time, its not enough to be active and spend time with friends (though that is important). You truly need to accept that this girl is damaged goods, that this wasn't your fault, and she played you for her own emotional gain. I know this because your situation sounds very familiar to me. I was that "horrible, controlling and insecure" boyfriend to my ex, and the truth about it is she is actually all of these things. I was the smuck stupid enough to take her back every time she came crawling back.
Trust me don't let a girl like that mess up your day. And she's right you are too good for her.

[pjd30626]

Basically the title says it all, I am obsessed with my ex, simple.
The breakup from my ex has really helped me to realise that the love I developed for her wasn't real love, it was infatuation; The worst thing was that infatuation led to obsession.
My obsessive habits: In the past, before we were together, I used to check her Facebook everyday, try to "accidently" bump into her whenever I could, and think about her constantly (and I mean like every hour, every day) etc. Due to this obsession I felt an extreme weight on my shoulders for some reason. It may be because I put so much effort into obsessing over her; loving her unconditionally with nothing in return. I don't know.
When we finally got together, as you can probably imagine I reached the most incredible high. I had finally got the girl of my dreams (litrually) and the weight and burden of obsessing constantly was lifted. During our relationship I had no obsessive tendencies at all.
Anyway after she ended the relationship I became obsessed again, but I knew deep down she was no good. No contact was made after the breakup.
I still have obsessive thoughts and I want them to stop. There are so many great women out there, but my obsession is preventing me from moving on.
I need advice please.

[slapshot_oi]

I still have obsessive thoughts and I want them to stop. There are so many great women out there, but my obsession is preventing me from moving on.
I need advice please.

I see you went NC, but, did you also stop checking her Facebook as well? If so, then the obsession will stop, it just takes time.

You're behavior isn't uncommon, I was guilty of this multiple times. As I got older, I learned to control it.