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    jakesmith's Avatar
    jakesmith Posts: 13, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jun 29, 2012, 02:07 PM
    Paragraph editor
    Help
    Curlyben's Avatar
    Curlyben Posts: 18,514, Reputation: 1860
    BossMan
     
    #2

    Jun 29, 2012, 02:10 PM
    Sorry, but what is your question ?
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #3

    Jun 29, 2012, 02:11 PM
    Do you want that paragraph edited (corrected)?
    jakesmith's Avatar
    jakesmith Posts: 13, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Jun 29, 2012, 02:23 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by wondergirl View Post
    do you want that paragraph edited (corrected)?
    Yes
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #5

    Jun 29, 2012, 02:25 PM
    Is Noise the name of a real street?
    jakesmith's Avatar
    jakesmith Posts: 13, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Jun 29, 2012, 02:27 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Is Noise the name of a real street?
    I want to put the streets are noise and crowded, driving is on the left side of the road .
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #7

    Jun 29, 2012, 02:31 PM
    Edited paragaraph:

    After twelve long years, I was excited to meet my relatives, friends, and various families from all over the world who had come to my cousin's wedding. Excitement overwhelmed me, since I knew I would be reconnected with all these people whom I haven't seen since I left India. My parents, my sibling, and I planned to visit our relatives in the different cities and villages of Gujarat. As we traveled by buses, taxis, and rickshaws from village to village and from city to city, I faced the now-unfamiliar lifestyles and struggles of living in India. But the experience of traveling on the opposite side of the road from what I am used to while riding buses, taxis, rickshaws, and trains was amazing--but so many crowded and noisy streets!
    jakesmith's Avatar
    jakesmith Posts: 13, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Jun 29, 2012, 02:31 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Curlyben View Post
    Sorry, but what is your question ?
    I just need someone to edit my paragraph
    jakesmith's Avatar
    jakesmith Posts: 13, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Jun 29, 2012, 02:32 PM
    Oh my good thank you I also want you to check this paragraphs for me please

    By living in various countries has made me a multilingual person. By living in Panama I learned Spanish, then I learned English when I came to the United States of America, I also learned Gujurati and Hindi at home. Overcoming the language barrier was difficult in every country especially Gujurati which I'm still unable to write and read. During my trip to India the lack of reading and writing Gujurati was a disadvantage because, I was not able to understand where I was when I went out in the city. That's when I realized how important is to be educated in a language of a country where you going. . It's hard to read signs and communicate with people when you don't know Gujurati, not many people there speak English so you have to know their language.

    Going to India I learn the few thing of my culture, my grandparents have explained to me many festivals we celebrate throughout the different regions in India and belief. My grandmother took me to a festival called Navarati. “It's a festival celebrates a god fighting a demon for nine days and being victorious on the tenth day,” said my grandmother, I was also told that every holiday or ceremony has a religious event behind them. By the time I could talk and understand what was going on, my peers have explained to me how things work in different ceremonies, holidays and festivals. The Indian culture consists of numerous diverse celebrations, depending on the region one is brought up in. Gujarat is the region where I am from in which I have stayed true to my culture and holidays. Spending time in India I also learned that women have limited role in the house, they have to take care of the house, family and kids while men goes out to work to earn money. Women can't wear clothes that exposes their body and can't talk to guys very openly neither they are allowed to have any type of relationship accept arrange marriage, this was very completely different from the culture I grew up in.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #10

    Jun 29, 2012, 02:33 PM
    Do you have one sibling or more than one?
    jakesmith's Avatar
    jakesmith Posts: 13, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Jun 29, 2012, 02:38 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Do you have one sibling or more than one?
    Just one siblings
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #12

    Jun 29, 2012, 02:41 PM
    Edited paragraphs --

    Living in various countries has made me a multilingual person. When living in Panama, I learned Spanish, then learned English when I came to the United States of America. I've also learned Gujurati and Hindi at home in India. Overcoming the language barrier was difficult in every country especially the language of Gujurati, which I’m still unable to write and read. During my trip to India, the lack of reading and writing Gujurati was a disadvantage because I was not able to understand where I was when I went out into the city. That’s when I realized how important is to be educated in a language of a country where you going. It’s hard to read signs and communicate with people when you don’t know Gujurati. Not many people there speak English, so you have to know their language.

    Being in India again, I learned a few things about my culture. My grandparents have explained to me about many festivals that are celebrated throughout the different regions in India and about the beliefs surrounding them. My grandmother took me to a festival called Navarati. “It’s a festival that celebrates a god fighting a demon for nine days and being victorious on the tenth day,” said my grandmother. I was also told that every holiday or ceremony has a religious event behind it. By the time I could talk and understand what was going on, my peers have explained to me how things work in different ceremonies, holidays, and festivals. The Indian culture consists of numerous diverse celebrations, depending on the region one is brought up in. Gujarat is the region where I am from, and I have stayed true to my culture and celebrating holidays. While spending time in India, I also learned that women have a limited role in the house. They have to take care of the house, family, and kids, while the men go out to work to earn money. Women can’t wear clothes that expose the body and can’t talk to guys very openly. They are not allowed to have any type of relationship except an arranged marriage. This was completely different from the culture I grew up in.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #13

    Jun 29, 2012, 02:43 PM
    Now you owe me a dozen samosas with mango chutney. ;)
    jakesmith's Avatar
    jakesmith Posts: 13, Reputation: 1
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    #14

    Jun 29, 2012, 02:46 PM
    I got two more if you don't mind please
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #15

    Jun 29, 2012, 02:47 PM
    Why are you writing these paragraphs?
    jakesmith's Avatar
    jakesmith Posts: 13, Reputation: 1
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    #16

    Jun 29, 2012, 02:50 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Why are you writing these paragraphs?
    Its for an essay and I got to present in from of class, its my last essay and I needed someone to edit it but I could find no one but thank god that you are helping me I don't know how to thank you :)
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #17

    Jun 29, 2012, 02:51 PM
    But now it is sounding like Wondergirl and not like jakesmith. Are we cheating?
    jakesmith's Avatar
    jakesmith Posts: 13, Reputation: 1
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    #18

    Jun 29, 2012, 02:53 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    But now it is sounding like Wondergirl and not like jakesmith. Are we cheating?
    No we are not cheating its like a presentation that goes with my power point
    Please
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #19

    Jun 29, 2012, 02:55 PM
    Will you get a grade on the paragraphs?
    jakesmith's Avatar
    jakesmith Posts: 13, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #20

    Jun 29, 2012, 02:58 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Will you get a grade on the paragraphs?
    No just on my powerpoint slides and speaking in front of teachers

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