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    dazednconfuzed's Avatar
    dazednconfuzed Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 23, 2012, 10:32 PM
    My boyfriend doesn't want to have sex that much anymore
    I got pregnant shortly after we started dating.. and he used to always want to have sex when we first met at least 5 times a day or more... when I got pregnant.. we barely had sex anymore because he said my belly was in the way and it was too hard.. now we've had our baby for almost three months, he still barely wants to have sex. I've been so depressed, It feels like he doesn't want to have sex with me anymore because I had a baby and he's less attracted to me. WHen I talk to him about it, he says stuff like "i dont know" or "we have a baby now, sex isn't the most important thing" or "i feel weird with the baby around"... its always a different excuse... I just want to know the truth. He used to be a sex addict, it does not make sense to me. Any answers anybody?
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #2

    Jun 25, 2012, 07:08 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by dazednconfuzed View Post
    I got pregnant shortly after we started dating.. and he used to always want to have sex when we first met atleast 5 times a day or more... when i got pregnant.. we barely had sex anymore because he said my belly was in the way and it was too hard.. now we've had our baby for almost three months, he still barely wants to have sex. ive been so depressed,. it feels like he doesnt wanna have sex with me anymore because I had a baby and he's less attracted to me. WHen i talk to him about it, he says stuff like "i dont know" or "we have a baby now, sex isn't the most important thing" or "i feel weird with the baby around"... its always a different excuse... i just want to know the truth. he used to be a sex addict ,, it does not make sense to me. any answers anybody??
    Well there are a few things here that jump out at me...

    Quote Originally Posted by dazednconfuzed View Post
    I got pregnant shortly after we started dating.. and he used to always want to have sex when we first met atleast 5 times a day or more... when i got pregnant.. we barely had sex anymore because he said my belly was in the way and it was too hard..
    First... there is zero idication a real relationship ever got a chance to form before the lust stage wore off. And 5 times a day there IS no other excuse but just lust. Love doesn't make you want to have sex 5 times a day.

    And because that takes some time to form... over a year and closer to two or three years... a baby was thrust into it... and the reality of that combined with the life altering implications that go with it... sucked all the fun out of it for him... and maybe even began to understand that everything revolved around sex... and he saw thre wasn't that much there.

    Add he grasps he is the dad and is now hanging around as much for the sake of the child as anything. Reflecting in the following stuff you described.

    Quote Originally Posted by dazednconfuzed View Post
    now we've had our baby for almost three months, he still barely wants to have sex. ive been so depressed,. it feels like he doesnt wanna have sex with me anymore because I had a baby and he's less attracted to me. WHen i talk to him about it, he says stuff like "i dont know" or "we have a baby now, sex isn't the most important thing" or "i feel weird with the baby around"... its always a different excuse... i just want to know the truth. he used to be a sex addict ,, it does not make sense to me. any answers anybody??
    This is the downside to not only having sex way too early after you meet someone... but to have a baby (intentionally or unintentionally) before the relationship is strong enough for a marriage.

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