[jacobrene]

Sex is the very difficult parts of our life to hide. Exactly who we are and to hide our identity in the real life or in short we are leaving under the closet.

I'm 28 years old gay guy working abroad and living with my friend's house for a year now with different room. We started to be a real good friend for 10 years until I found myself to be closed to him, but lately I had this strange feeling that I can't explain, sometimes I fantasized him. Definitely he is a good looking straight guy, he was married but his wife was residing to his country home and with multiple lady commitments for sex fun online in the internet.

Until one day I decided to look for the right time to reveal, and to let him know what I really felt and chances permitted me on that cloudy morning when two of us decided to eat our breakfast at nearby restaurant. While I'm driving the car I stated and I ask his understanding not to misinterpret that special treatment because, I don't have any wrong intention with him. I wanted to be fair and honest with him to reveal the truth and ready to accept the consequences whatever the outcomes. I know that I can't turn back the clock after all, but if he is my real friend he will understand and accept me being me and who I am outside the closet. After that moment he avoided me, totally he ignore me, he don't want to see me, it's seems that I'm a muddy dirty stuff. We were not seen often in the house, office and talked less. It's really difficult and I suffered too much. The more I suppressed my feelings the more I love him, was sleepless, I lost my appetites to eat and I lost totally my weight and I'm always crying.

I've done on a hard time to save our friendship it took a couple of months. But now after he spent his vacation when he return back to our house, he treated me as is that nothings has happen, everything seems to be normal, we are talking about silly things about his life, girlfriends, go out for dinner, joking and he went to my office daily. Every day I cooked our meals and we eat together and doing the house chores, and I don't have any motifs to trace that's he likes me either. Sometimes I reach out the point to surrender and to look for another place to live alone and totally forget him, but I can't do it! I'm still magnetized to stay, because I will suffer more that before, and all my effort, and time to stay, to work abroad will be useless too.

Please help me I'm suffering right now, because I love him so much more than I do. Please I need your advice.

[pinkbutterflys]

This is a hard one and I'm sorry if I am not much help but keep your chin up he may just be confused because of your feelings for him he may be confused with his own feeling

[talaniman]

I know its difficult to balance attractions and the reality of your situation, but you have to agree that handling your feelings in a more positive proactive way is at the heart of your own personal conflicts.

No different than a straight guy/gal fixating on an attraction to another, knowing nothing can come of it besides a friendly interaction. You cannot live in a fantasy world, and thrive, none of us can, and even though he was shocked when you revealed yourself, he did eventually adjust to it, and a lot better than you did.

He accepts you as a friend/house mate, so don't get carried away by your own personal feelings, and create a conflict that doesn't really exist. Maybe you should consider living alone for a while, and building your own independent life, just to get some reality, and not be so deep into a fantasy of him being yours, and sharing a life together.

My advice is to see that you cannot have what you want, and not act on your fantasy. Fantasy, and reality must be kept separate, and sometimes you have to remove yourself from the situation that keeps you in fantasy land.

We cannot help having feelings, intense ones at that. But we can help what we do about them. When our feelings are so strong that fantasy affects our thought and action in unhealthy ways, its time to make adjustments to be healthy again.

Good luck, and keep it real.