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    Felrna's Avatar
    Felrna Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 13, 2012, 07:36 AM
    Why cant I perform?
    Last night my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse and I could not get "wet". It is very discouraging and I was wondering why this would happen and how to naturally fix it? I don't want to use products like KY Jelly.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Jun 13, 2012, 08:59 AM
    Why do you not want to use things like those ?

    Next how much foreplay before actual sex do you do ? 30 min or so ?
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #3

    Jun 14, 2012, 11:59 AM
    How old are you? 16 or 66 it matters a great deal.
    blagosphere's Avatar
    blagosphere Posts: 22, Reputation: 4
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    #4

    Jun 14, 2012, 01:04 PM
    There are dozens of reasons you might not be "performing" up to your own standards.
    For women, lubrication is not always present when she is aroused. If this has been a recent development, that can signify a problem, but if you have always been "dry", there is nothing unusual going on. Don't shun the KY jelly. Having sex without lubrication can be very harmful. In lieu of jellys you can also try penetration with fingers, because you may be wet inside but not yet outside... and oral sex as foreplay with lots of saliva can help that too.

    If "being dry" is only a recent problem, I have two ideas--
    • Stress. Women have a harder time shutting out the world and getting "in the moment" the way men can. Try using massage or a warm bath as a form of foreplay together.
    • Body Image. If you aren't feeling particularly "sexy" that day, you aren't going to be aroused as easily. Everyone has different hangups about their own appearance. Do what you think will make you feel sexy, whatever that means to you-- get a pedicure and a haircut. Try dressing up, or different positions where your belly/thighs/whatever bothers you won't distract you.

      You might also want to try focusing on *his* body during foreplay instead-- going down on him and getting him riled up with nothing but your tongue can be a surefire ego-boost, and... oh look, your panties are wet ;)


    Source : Personal experience, and Human Sexuality 7th Ed (Yarber, Sayad, Strong)
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #5

    Jun 14, 2012, 02:14 PM
    We need waaaaaaay more information about your situation. There are so many things that could cause dryness that it's not even funny. For instance, pregnancy and breastfeeding can cause dryness, as can stress, as can not being well-hydrated.

    And I agree with Smoothy--your age matters as to what the problem could be.
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