[HD1983]

Here's my story, I'm a 29 year old female virgin who is starting to feel a little weird about the entire situation, I have never interacted romantically with anyone(I haven't even had my first kiss yet! I was bullied so severely in school by classmates of both genders that I became afraid that no one could ever love me).

I'm older now and a little wiser, I no longer feel that I'm unattractive(even though I'm short and on the heavy side, I've still been told that I was cute by men).
I met a guy online(I'll call him Justin)we've been emailing each other at least three or four times a week since January of this year, we send each other pictures on a regular basis, even though he lives in Hungary and I live in the US we still have plans to meet each other in person someday.

Here's the problem, I have never told him that I'm a virgin because I've told men that before in the past and they basically ran in the other direction.
What do I do? I have a feeling that this guy wouldn't judge me but I'm still so afraid to tell him, especially about the never been kissed part, that just sounds weird.

[smoothy]

Here's my story, I'm a 29 year old female virgin who is starting to feel a little weird about the entire situation, I have never interacted romantically with anyone(I haven't even had my first kiss yet! I was bullied so severely in school by classmates of both genders that I became afraid that no one could ever love me).

I'm older now and a little wiser, I no longer feel that I'm unattractive(even though I'm short and on the heavy side, I've still been told that I was cute by men).
I met a guy online(I'll call him Justin)we've been emailing each other at least three or four times a week since January of this year, we send each other pictures on a regular basis, even though he lives in Hungary and I live in the US we still have plans to meet each other in person someday.

Here's the problem, I have never told him that I'm a virgin because I've told men that before in the past and they basically ran in the other direction.
What do I do? I have a feeling that this guy wouldn't judge me but I'm still so afraid to tell him, especially about the never been kissed part, that just sounds weird.

First off... he's not even in this country... if he's after anything... its a easier shot at a green card...

I'm not even going to take a guess what he would or wouldn't think. What's wrong with finding a real person that you can actually date, that's local to you...

Most of the time... with these halfway around the world things... people aren't what they present themselves to be.

Think about this... if he's all that great... why aren't all the women local to him jumping all over him? Give that thought some time to bounce around in your head and grow... let us know what you think...

[HD1983]

The problem is that I live in a small rural town, the only dating scene is, well, the local sleazy bar, I know that I should probably think more realistically but I would much rather meet someone online then that place.

I'm not the bar type, especially the dive bar type.

[Fr_Chuck]

You don't discuss your sexual past, that is a real no no, if you have been with 20 guys or no guys is not his business, if you ever have sex, it will be the first time for you and him.

Kiss ? So you don't kiss the way he is used to not everyone kisses the same.

As for the internet, other nations are scams, hopefully he is not, try to move it to web cam, then you know he is really who he says he is, also do you have phone numbers and can call each other ? Do you have a home mailing address ?

[Fr_Chuck]

The problem is that I live in a small rural town, the only dating scene is, well, the local sleazy bar, I know that I should probably think more realistically but I would much rather meet someone online then that place.

I'm not the bar type, especially the dive bar type.

No the best dating scene in a small town is Walmart, you have to actually start to talk to people, or your church, And maybe have to look at a small town 10 miles or 30 miles down the road,

[Wondergirl]

Having grown up in a small rural town (if you want to call it that -- it was a post office and a Mott's applesauce factory AND of course a bar or two), I know the best way to meet people is to get involved in a church. Usually there are two within reasonable driving distance, probably Catholic and Lutheran or maybe Methodist or a Bible church. Visit all of them, find one that's feels comfortable and homey, attend weekly services, join an organization or two. Depending on which state you live in and the library system setup, either join or start a book discussion group or writers' group or some such at your local library. (Ask me if you need help with this.) In other words, get yourself "out there" and get involved. There are lots of ways to meet real-life guys (and their mothers and aunts and grandmothers) than at the local bar.

[HD1983]

Having grown up in a small rural town (if you want to call it that -- it was a post office and a Mott's applesauce factory AND of course a bar or two), I know the best way to meet people is to get involved in a church. Usually there are two within reasonable driving distance, probably Catholic and Lutheran or maybe Methodist or a Bible church. Visit all of them, find one that's feels comfortable and homey, attend weekly services, join an organization or two. Depending on which state you live in and the library system setup, either join or start a book discussion group or writers' group or some such at your local library. (Ask me if you need help with this.) In other words, get yourself "out there" and get involved. There are lots of ways to meet real-life guys (and their mothers and aunts and grandmothers) than at the local bar.

Thank you for the helpful response, I'm not a religious person(in fact I guess you could call me an agnostic or even an atheist, I have no idea what's going on in the universe) I am a writer though, who is getting ready to publish two books, I was tormented severely when I was younger due to my weight(I've lost a lot of weight recently but I'm not thin at all, not even close).

I've even been rejected before in the past based only on my weight(nothing else, the guy said that I was literally the most intelligent woman that he had ever met but that I was too fat)

I'm worried that I will only be able to attract weirdos because of my size(slightly over 200 pounds still) and no one who is (I hate to sound like a snob, I'm sorry if it comes off this way) of the same intellectual level as me.

[smoothy]

I grew up in a small town too... I had to drive 10 miles to buy milk... or gas.

Get out... talk to people get involved with some of the groups mentioned above... even if you don't meet Mr. Right directly... you might through someone you met there.

For all you know Mr. Hungarian... might be a serial killer... Bosnian war criminal on the run... He might even be married and have a family and just getting cheap thrills online... heck... they might even be grooming people to be abducted into the human trafficking sex industry... They just busted a few people for that in the last week around here.

You can say a lot of things , and pretend to be a lot of things online when you know someone won't be knocking on your door in 10 minutes.

[HD1983]

I grew up in a small town too.....I had to drive 10 miles to buy milk....or gas.

Get out...talk to people get involved with some of the groups mentioned above....even if you don't meet Mr. Right directly...you might through someone you met there.

For all you know Mr. Hungarian....might be a serial killer....Bosnian war criminal on the run.... He might even be married and have a family and just getting cheap thrills online....heck...they might even be grooming people to be abducted into the human trafficing sex industry...They just busted a few people for that in the last week around here.

You can say a lot of things , and pretend to be a lot of things online when you know someone won't be knocking on your door in 10 minutes.

LOL! I never thought about the war criminal thing! I guess I've felt down about myself for so long I didn't think about how dangerous meeting someone online can be, I guess maybe being a published author will open some doors but I don't know.

[Wondergirl]

Are you destined to live surrounded by corn or wheat fields forever? Any chance you'd venture out to a city? And yeah, back home, I dated a lot of dairy farmers' sons and did find a few who were on my level with interests and intellectual curiosity beyond what feed to buy for better milk production. I suggest you get yourself out there and explore what's available for at least the experience of it all.

Are you going to self publish? Fiction or non-fiction? Oh, and meet my plump author-friend Denise (http://www.deniseswanson.com/) who is engaged in life with writing and book signing and giving book talks and generally socializing. Tall, short, fat, thin, black, white -- no limits to who can be a successful author--or date or friend or girlfriend or wife or...

[HD1983]

Are you destined to live surrounded by corn or wheat fields forever? Any chance you'd venture out to a city? And yeah, back home, I dated a lot of dairy farmers' sons and did find a few who were on my level with interests and intellectual curiosity beyond what feed to buy for better milk production. I suggest you get yourself out there and explore what's available for at least the experience of it all.

Are you going to self publish? Fiction or non-fiction?

My two books are both fictional novels that will be on Amazon, they are about a fictional male Italian pop star who battles trouble with women, mental illness and drug and alcohol addiction.
The first one is about a woman who goes back in time to save his life, and the second one is a prequel explaining how he got to the point that he was at in the first one.

I would definitely like to gain experience before I settle down(AKA sex with a few partners) saving my virginity has never been a priority to me, it isn't important for me to be married to lose it, the first guy I meet that's interested and just halfway decent I'll probably jump in bed with him.

[Wondergirl]

My two books are both fictional novels that will be on Amazon

E-books? Through the Amazon publishing system? (I'm a retired librarian and author myself, so that's why I'm badgering you.) I added more to my earlier post, so please check back.

the first guy I meet that's interested and just halfway decent I'll probably jump in bed with him.

Oh, I hope not!

[HD1983]

Yes, e-book in addition to paperback, all published through Amazon. :)

Nah, probably not, LOL! I don't see myself doing that! There are a lot of cute men around here(the nice looking guy who repaired my air conditioner last year kept looking at me and smiling, but I was too shy to pursue it, damn it!).

[Wondergirl]

no one who is (I hate to sound like a snob, I'm sorry if it comes off this way) of the same intellectual level as me.

Join American Mensa (http://www.us.mensa.org/) There is probably a meeting place near you (usually at someone's home plus occasional outings to area restaurants plus seminars/gatherings). Most US states are divided up into Mensa "territories" and each has its own publication along with the monthly one from Mensa headquarters. You may have to take a qualifying test or can use a standardized one from your school days. If you have any questions about Mensa, please ask me. Oh, and Mensa get-togethers are mostly social with conversation on anything you can think of.