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alewis32 · Jun 9, 2012, 08:22 AM

Okay. I have no idea where I even begin. I spent 5 years with someone who inevitably proposed and lived with me for a year. After a month of being engaged he decided that he wasn't ready. I was so broken hearted and cried a lot. However then he said he wanted to stay engaged but did not seem like he was thrilled at all about this. So I tried to make it work with him for three months and even moved out of our apartment to give him space. He continued to treat me awful example: never there for me while my parents were divorcing, would pick partying over me, and even talked behind my back. At one point we were best friends, I thought unstoppable, and amazing partners. It all came tumbling down really quick.

I broke up with him and dated someone else quickly after and my ex fiance' went crazy on me. Which I took as him maybe able to work things out. I took him back and it blew up in my face, he'd call me a whore, and embarrass me in public, etc. He inevitably moved away from me.

It has now been two years and I do not contact him but have moved to where he is living about an hour away for a job. BUT he keeps contacting me and does not want to be together. Tells me he misses me and loves me but can't be with me and puts all the blame of our relationship on me. He literally acts like he could care less about me or if I'm hurting but yet in the last three weeks I've heard I love you 3 times and I miss you 4. But says we've been over this a million times about how we are better off this way.

Why is he still contacting me? I've told him to leave me alone, I can't be his friend and that it hurts? I need serious help to resolve this because it has gone on for 2 years. I have deemed myself undatable because I can't even look at a guy after how bad he hurt me. If anyone can help I'd appreciate it so much because I still love him even though I shouldn't.

Kahani Punjab · Jun 9, 2012, 08:37 AM

Alewis32,

Welcome to this wonderful and beautiful site, first!

O, a curious case! What should I say? Leave him, care him or ignore him? Do one thing - think about him, if you want him back or does not. Life is not a smooth-sail, and neglecting every male/man is something very negative. I would implore you to have a sitting (obviously with him), decide future course of action. I know you love him, and he reciprocates your feelings. It is just due to some-thing, which created all the ruckus, but now after you had time and space in between, you can surely lead a wonderful life. Just begin it. I would wish good luck!

alewis32 · Jun 9, 2012, 08:45 AM

Thank you for the response. But the problem is, is that he says he can't be with me. And I know is off talking to other girls. But then still contacts me with these comments and when I try to talk to him about it. He blows me off and acts like I'm annoying. He wants no serious conversation with me.

talaniman · Jun 9, 2012, 12:59 PM

Then stop talking to him. Why even bother with such a person? Ignore him, an avoid him until you get your sanity back.

Jake2008 · Jun 9, 2012, 01:56 PM

Two years is a long time to be allowing an ex fiancé so much power and control over your emotions.

Make a decision to not have contact with him. Change your phone number, block his calls, delete his email, take him off Facebook (if he's there), and send a strong message you are not interested, and for him to leave you alone!!

That you don't do that has me wondering why you take his phone calls at all.

If yourself esteem is so damaged after a relationship with him that you have been unable to move on, date other men, and find happiness, then this becomes your problem, not his.

I urge you to really think about why you can't let go. Cut that emotional noose you have with him, and start living without him in the shadows.

Just cut it out!

Tatla · Jul 3, 2012, 12:29 AM

Is there any doubt? I do not think so.

joypulv · Jul 3, 2012, 02:16 AM

Tatla, please stop using the 'inaccurate' label for matters that aren't factual!
Also there is no need to be so eager to ruin someone's rating here.

alewis32, I think he wants to keep you cloistered in a convent, based on his calling you a whore. He doesn't want you but doesn't want anyone else to have you, plus he enjoys having you agonize over him, so he keeps stringing you along. All I can say is UGH. Be rid of him and be glad. Force yourself to stay busy with other things and other people.