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n1208w · Jun 7, 2012, 08:31 PM

Hi,

I have a friend who I am very close with. He is gay. Last year he had a lot problems, suffered from bipolar disorder. He used to yell at me a lot and would often hurt me by not talking to me for long periods which would result in me not knowing if we were friends. But I also helped him heaps, we ended spending every weekend together and would talk on the phone every day, email all day, text every morning and whenever else we could. As much as I was helping him, I loved spending time with him and still do. He is my best friend and I feel so comfortable when I am with him.

He is much better now, taking medication and seems to be great. With that comes that he is not really spending as much time with me. He has told me on heaps of occasions that he doesn't want to spend time with me as much and that I am too clingy. I agree with this - I am really clingy and really jealous, but I think this developed when we were spending all of our time together.

I get really jealous when he hangs out with other people, even our combined friends, and doesn't want to see me. I become really clingy to be with him. Clearly I want to speand time with him and be a priority in his life but I am always left wondering if I am.

I have to make an issue out of everything. Every time he doesn't want to spend time with me I take it as a personal attack, like I am not good enough. He has organised weekly catch ups with other people and I get so upset, attacking him, because I have to beg to catch up with him now but he is offering himself to others.

What is wrong with me? Why am I attacking him so much. Why don't I feel like I will ever be the type of friend with him that I would like to be/that we were?

liz28 · Jun 8, 2012, 07:53 AM

This guy is just your friend and if you keep up this behavior you will lose him as a friend. Even y'all other mutual friends are started to sick of this behavior.

I think it bothers you that you are no longer his crutch. It is good that you was there for him while he was in a rough patch but you became you developed some depency issues as well as clinginess.

I suggest you start doing things tha doesn't involve your friend. Take up a new hobby, volunteer some where, etc. Seek counseling! You have to realize your friend is your friend not your boyfriend.