[Bloodhound8]

Ok so here is the thing... I met this girl, we hit it off, she likes me, I like her, actually... I love her... Its been one month since we met and well, we talk a lot. We aren't dating and we have slept together, so I think this may just be a friends with benefits thing, but I want more... I have told her that I love her, she responds saying "don't say that, you aren't allowed to love me". Well that is just confusing to me... she knows how I feel and says that I care too much, we talk about everything except some topics she is sensitive on, like love of course.

She talks about our future, us taking trips, going places, site seeing, lots of stuff, but I just wish we could have more in our relationship, specifically a relationship to begin with. Recently I asked her again.. "is there a chance we can be more?". She just responds saying she does not know and she isn't ready for a relationship and does not know when she will be.

She has done so much for me, I live 8 hours away from her by car, and where I work, I take trips on the railroad close to her location, about a 1 hour drive to be exact, and she comes to pick me up so we can hang out, we cook, we play music, I am teaching her piano and we do lots of stuff together, but I am confused.

Just the other day she said she spent the whole day crying and she won't tell me why, then she mentioned today it was because her ex boyfriend called and wants her back etc... I asked what's stopping her from going back, she said again "I am not ready for a relationship right now, he's a nice guy and I didn't treat him well", and it was left at that...

Another thing we talk about is kids, she loves them and babies and wants one so badly, sometimes she says stuff like, "if we ever had a kid" or, "I bet i could get you to have a kid with me if i wanted to"... I don't know if she is joking or being serious, she seems serious, but to be honest...

I love her more than anything I ever have in my entire life, I want to be with her, take care of her and I don't know if that's possible, she sends me mixed signals as if She loves me, but she hasn't said that yet, one example is this : she knows sign language for kids and she showed me the, I love you sign, about a week ago, I said to her I love her, then she said my name and gave me the sign... I was so happy, but that was a week ago and I haven't heard or seen anything like that since.

I think I may be pressuring too much, but I don't actually enforce anything at all. I don't know what to do, think, or expect... I want to be with her but I don't know how. Please... anyone who can help, or suggest anything, hell... even say what is going on, or what is she thinking or doing... Im so scared to lose her, but how can I lose what I don't have? Thank you so much for your responses and help, if you need any other information [please ask]. Thank you!