Perhaps you should stop looking for answers from with-out and start searching for them with-in. Perhaps God is telling you to start using the gifts He bestowed on you, common sense, freedom of action, the ability to think and act for yourself. Praying to God is one thing, assuming that He exists to do your bidding like an uncorked genii is another.
Listen to yourself. You are your own worse enemy! You are defeating yourself. The subconscious mind can not take a joke - it accepts everything at face value. It is like a computer, it does not question what you enter into it - it saves the input as entered and when you want to recall the info you programmed in, it gives you back what you put in. Does reaping what you sow sound familiar?
You are programming your onboard computer - your subconscious mind - with nothing but negative entries. "Our luck DOESN't favor us"... "I FAIL to prove my worth."... "success is AWAY from me."... NO luck... so DEPRESSED... and those are the entries that you put into your mind with just your question.
Find a counselor and get some positive help. Start giving yourself positive affirmations. Learn the tools needed to start re-thinking for yourself and leave the soothsayers to their tea leafs. Then use those tools to change your attitude, and subsequently, your life. And if I read your letter correctly as a cry for help, do it soon before you do something you can't change.
|