[Lucky.charms]

Is 10 years old too young to find a playboy? His searches on the Internet get much more graphic that pb pictures? He stays with his mom, dad or his grandma at times. He knows what everything is. My boyfriend and I have been arguing for 2 weeks. Please let me know your opinion.

[Alty]

Your question is a bit hard to understand. What do you mean by a playboy? Who is searching the internet for graphic pb pictures, the 10 year old? What are you and your boyfriend arguing about? Is your boyfriend looking at graphic pictures of children?

I have to say, reading your post, I don't know whether you're asking for advice on how to molest a child, or if you're asking if it's okay for a 10 year old to look at porn, if it's okay for you boyfriend to look at child porn, or if this is your son and you're concerned. Only one of those scenarios, the last one, makes your question okay. The other two make me want to call the cops, and I would if I could. :(

A little clarification on what you're actually asking would be helpful. I won't judge until you come back and make clear what you're actually asking. I can tell you if this is as bad as it sounds based on what you wrote, you will not like the responses you get on this site. We do not condone child exploitation!

[jenniepepsi]

10 years old is about the average age when boys start to look at such pictures. It is a normal part of development. But his parents need to decide if they will allow him to continue looking at porn, or if they choose to make sure he does NOT look at porn. Is this child your boyfriends child? Or your child?

And I am not sure how Alty got molestation from the OP.

[Fr_Chuck]

10 is a bit young but not unusual. What many parents do, is first have the "birds and bees' talk to the child so they understand.
Next put a content blocker on the computers so that no adult material can be downloaded.

[Lucky.charms]

@ alty: I am concerned of my stepson looking up the pictures. My boyfriend and I were arguing if he should buy a playboy and hide it. How in the heck does it sound as if I wanted to molest a child? Absolutely absurd. Highly offended. Please read questions before you respond to them. No one else accused me of such a thing. Please feel no need to respond. I was looking for an itteligent opinion about 10 yrs old and playboy, hence the topic.

@jenniepepsi: thanks for the comment about alty. Insane. Sounds like molestation is on their mind, not mine for gods sake. It is my boyfriends son.

@fr_chuck: we understand he is curious. We've had the talk. Somehow he already knew. We have blockers on the computer, but we recently saw the history on my BFs iPhone when we thought he was playing angry birds! He even had me download a game for him. 10 min later we saw the history...


Also we really don't know what's going on at his grandmas nor his moms. We told his mom last year and she scolded him in front of ( on the phone) his grandma! It was horrible and he was so embarrassed.

[jenniepepsi]

Actually I did NOT say that alty was wrong. I said I didn't understand where she got the idea.

And if you are going to be rude to her, how do you expect to get answers from one of the best and most intelligent mothers on this site?


You are his fathers girlfriend. Really you have no say in what is going on. So I'm not sure why you are even bothering. How old are you? You sound more concerned about him being embarrassed than about him getting what he NEEDS to hear. It sounds like his mother scolded him with good reason. He has already been told not to do this. He has been blocked, but he purposely goes around the blocks. And sneaks it into his fathers phone. That is not acceptable.

[Lucky.charms]

I apologize for offending anyone. I felt offended that someone would accuse me of such a thing. No she is not wrong.. I am 29, and my boyfriend is the one who wanted to do it.. His father did sit him down and talk with him, I suppose he should again. I just asked for an opinion. This is the first time I have ever posted anything on any discussion board. I was not looking to be accused of molesting a child. So I will try to delete this all tomorrow and my account.
I do appreciate your first comment though thanks. I did not know which age was "normal".

[jenniepepsi]

Its OK. Just don't jump to conclusions :P the people here are very nice, and I am sure alty wasn't implying that YOU were sexually assaulting the child. It just crossed her mind that he may have been by someone.

There is nothing wrong with a 10 year old boy masturbating. Having access to adult porn is the issue here. Some parents have no problem with it. I personally don't feel its acceptable.

But if his father is OK with his son watching porn or seeing dirty pictures to masturbate, that is between him and his son. I would even say the same thing if it was my own biological son, and his father wanted him to have pictures to masturbate to. It's a dad and son thing. Just like the period talk is a mom and daughter thing.

Masturbation is healthy. Don't think that there is something wrong with him.

[WisperWill70]

10 year old kids are curious about the human body and this is about the age that boys get interested in looking at stolen copies of Playboy, etc. Now in the internet era, it's easy for curious looking around to net some very graphic/pornographic (versus merely naked) pictures - so parental locks or filters on your computer and communication with the child are important because he can see a lot of things that are well beyond naked ladies... and he may not understand what he sees.

I must disagree with Jenniepepsi, a father being OK with his 10 year old son "watching porn to masturbate" is NOT a father-son thing like the period-talk! A father-son talk usually involves changes happening a son's body, (erections, nocturnal emissions, etc.) and that it's normal to masturbate, and your general birds/bees talk... but a dad encouraging his son to watch porn when he's 10? That's absurd.

[J_9]

.

but if his father is ok with his son watching porn or seeing dirty pictures to masturbate, that is between him and his son.

I don't think Child Protective Services would agree with you Jennie. That is grounds to remove the child from the home.

[jenniepepsi]

I don't think Child Protective Services would agree with you Jennie. That is grounds to remove the child from the home.

That doesn't make sense. Every guy I grew up with had a porn stash under their bed. No one thought twice of it. Is it really illegal?

[J_9]

Illegal for a 10 year old to view porn with the father's consent?

[DoulaLC]

I'd have a chat with every adult involved and discuss the situation so that everyone is on the same page. Most definitely blocks need to be on the computers, iPhone, and any other gadget he may use. If he happens to come across a hidden playboy, that is one thing, curiosity is normal. However, it is his dad's personal property, and he should be reminded of this. The graphic images he could come across online are entirely different.

Dad should have another chat as well regarding what is geared towards adults. Plain and simple, no lengthy lecture, matter of fact.

[ScottGem]

While I think Alty might have been extreme in suggesting you might be asking how to molest, I think the point she was making is that your initial post was very unclear and confusing . A little more time spent re-reading a post before submitting may help prevent such confusion.

While curiousity is natural at 10. Boundaries need to be set. And encouraging or just allowing a 10 yr old to use porn to masturbate goes beyond good parenting.

[WisperWill70]

that doesn't make sense. Every guy I grew up with had a porn stash under their bed. No one thought twice of it. Is it really illegal?

Your statement was not about being a dad with Playboys under the mattress. I and J-9 are responding to you saying it's OK for a father to encourage a CHILD to use pornography.

but if his father is OK with his son watching porn or seeing dirty pictures to masturbate, that is between him and his son.

And like I said, that is NOT a typical "Father-Son" chat in the way a mother discusses having periods with her daughter. I quote you:

his father wanted him to have pictures to masturbate to. It's a dad and son thing. Just like the period talk is a mom and daughter thing.

That is totally nuts and totally and completely inappropriate for a man to do with a TEN YEAR OLD BOY.

Again - parental boundaries and communication is important. Peeping at Playboys is normal (which is FAR different from being *encouraged* to do so by a parent!) while watching internet porn may be over the line...
A child doesn't understand, at that age, all that he can see so it's important to have limits.

[J_9]

Your statement was not about being a dad with Playboys under the mattress. I and J-9 are responding to you saying it's OK for a father to encourage a CHILD to use pornography.



And like I said, that is NOT a typical "Father-Son" chat in the way a mother discusses having periods with her daughter. I quote you:



That is totally nuts and totally and completely inappropriate for a man to do with a TEN YEAR OLD BOY.

Again - parental boundaries and communication is important. Peeping at Playboys is normal (which is FAR different from being *encouraged* to do so by a parent!) while watching internet porn may be over the line....
a child doesn't understand, at that age, all that he can see so it's important to have limits.

Bravo! Standing ovation!

[J_9]

And yes, a child CAN be removed from the household at the age of 10 if they are subjected to viewing pornographic material. My MIL is a retired 4th grade teacher (10 year olds), and is now retired and is a CASA. She has removed children from homes under similar circumstances. It is a form of abuse, sexual abuse to be exact.

[J_9]

Let me just add that I am a mother of a 10 year old son. If my husband encouraged and/or had a talk with my son about viewing porn as a norm the way a mother talks to her daughter (my daughter is 18) about periods, I would kick my husband out of the house and have him arrested.

What you suggested Jennie is just sick and perverted.

[Cat1864]

I don't know of a place that doesn't have a law on the books about disseminating explicitly adult materials to minors including a parent's own children.

Does your boyfriend understand that hiding the material for the boy to 'find' is teaching the child to disobey and go behind his back when he isn't getting his way? Today it may be the magazine. Tomorrow it may be alcohol or the car keys. Does your boyfriend really want his child rummaging through his and your belongings?

You say that his mother scolded him 'last year' about this. How old was the boy when this behavior began? Curiousity at 10 is one thing, curiousity to the point of searching for materials at nine or younger is another.

[Enigma1999]

I think the bottom line here is that the OP is concerned about this situation. No. She may not be the parent. Yes. She does have a right to be concerned. After all she is with the father and who knows how serious her relationship may get...

Everyone made valid points here. I think that Jeenie needs to be more specific about her last comment. Yes. I read what she said, however, I am willing to give her the benefit of the doubt that she is NOT encouraging that the father condone this.

It is normal for young ones to be curious about sexuality and masturbation.

As a parent, would I encourage a child to watch porn of any sort? No. Not at all.

Would I be upset if my partner encouraged it to my child? Yes.

...