[Impious]

I am in terrible dilemna.. I had recently been engaged to a guy searched out by my family.. I was not given sufficient time to think about this guy . However it seems my fiancée was nice and gentle . Nonetheless , soon after my engagement , one anonymous girl called my fiancée that I had relation with a boy & had physical relation with him several times. She also told that I used to go hotels along with him, take shower together & also I got pregnant thrice & aborted. That anonymous female also shown some pix of mine with one of my old boyfriend to my fiancée. The pix is normal hugging with my boyfriend. In fact all these things are true which many of my friends knows. After hearing this my fiancée broke the engagement . But now the fact is that I am no more in contact with my first boyfriend since dec 2010. He married in 2009.even after we had relation till dec2010. After that I again fallen in love with married man who was my boss. He knows everything about my past & helped me to out from all bad circle & ignoring the past he truly care me as a husband. Seems very akward but I only proposed him. We planned to marry but he clarified me that society would not accept us. But ignoring the same I told I am ready to live with you but you need to tell everything to your wife. He was so honest that for me he told everything to his wife. No body except me & his wife knows about this relation. Being a simple & cool nature his wife cried a lot but just for his happiness she told that if you want to settle second home , please take little away from the place she currently resides. Now , I am totally confused.. After this incident the first story along with broken engagement is now known to whole world including my relatives, families, friends & even to my native places. I come from a traditional backgroud and I am surprised over my behaviour . I have my family who shattered with this break up... After seeing my family situation now I have disconnect relation with that married man & now have changed my contact number. I know he will be in mad situation because he really love me from the core of his heart. He started drinking & smoking a lot. But now I have chosen to go as per my family. Even he is supporting me but he treated me as a wife so it is difficult for him to accept this. My biggest worry is that after all these true gossip in entire world how will now any man will accept me for marriage. Or I have to live alone without marriage for life time. Should we disclose these things to a person or family if I get engaged again or should we hide the same. We all family members are in tense. Relatives started commenting on us but few of them also supporting that they will help us to get marriage again. What could be the worst situation can happen. My age is I am 26 running from Mumbai (India). I am pursuing M com.
Somebody please advice !

[LostGirl_86]

Wow so you go around to ruin marriages and now you upset you not going to get married? And three abortions? Ever heard of birth control? Girl I'm sorry but I hope someone will do the same to you so u know what it feels like to get the love of your life taken away. I hope you realize that you were just "the other woman" and women should not do that to each other...

[Impious]

Please let me know if my broken engagement news would affect my marriage. Should I or my family hide this incident with would be fiancée or should we tell everything that I had been called off my wedding engagement earlier once. What if marriage happens after hiding all but if he knows later than what could be the impact.

[LostGirl_86]

You Need to realize that u Need to Change Girl... I would advice you to come clean with everything and start over a new life. Stay away from married men, be a good person and your mr right will come around. The people that truly love u and care about u will remain so even after hearing about everything. I hope you will find the strength u need to go through this. I'm sorry for being so harsh earlier...

[Impious]

Thanks for moral support. As you mentioned that the people that truly love you and care about you will remain so even after hearing about everything. But for true love & care a person need to give sufficeint time for understanding. A person will directly reject me after knowing the truth that I had once wedding engagement broken due to sad reason. How will anyone accept me after knwoing such cheap reaason. Please send me the possibilites in details... Thanks

[LostGirl_86]

No one is perfect people make mistakes. You did... So what? You life made have been out of line but if you come clean, most important, you will feel better. If people reject you they don't deserve u. Sit down and explain the people you care about what has been going on. Be completely honest and answer their questions. Tell them how you feel about what you did and that you were looking for true love and got off the right way but that you wanting to change... Anything I can do to help?

[Impious]

But how to stop relatives & people for spreading such news. Recently I went in my family wedding ceremony. There all were behaving good but now we came to know rumors that in marriage hall one boy came & told that he will not going to live me if I get marriage. I know this is just a rumors bcoz we all were there. Now after 20 days some of my family members called my mom & said that these type of rumours spreading. My father & brother is worried after this incident whom they will talk for marriage. Even relative bring propsal but should we disclose this things. I am a very good friend of my married man wife. She talk to me very politely. Should I continue talking her since I don't have a single friend except my married man & his wife. After meeting my married man I deleted all my old contacts from my cell phone & started ignoring all friends. Now after 2 years, really don't have any single friend. Even sumtime I see anyone I simply ignore or they ignore me. What to do. Please advise

[LostGirl_86]

Just for understanding... U are friends with the wife of your exboyfriend?

[Impious]

My last lover married man whom I love very much means my boss. After my hubby told everything to his wife... I & his wife use to talk frequently boz after leaving my hubby office... I & my lover wife worked together in a same dept. we share every topic except on hubby topic.. she is very cool & calm nature women... pls advise

[LostGirl_86]

Well it wasn't your hubby it was hers... am I getting everything right? If she knows and is OK with it why not continue to talking to her?

[Impious]

Let me be honest. I & my hubby cannot live without each other. We tried convince the same to my hubby wife my friend as well. She understood the feelings & it seems she accept us. She is very very good in nature & for her hubby she is ready to accept me but she is saying to settle little far away from she currently resides. I know this is little something no body accept but we both care each other. My hubby can't even think of leaving his wife bcoz he also loves her very much. As the chances of getting good partner in case of me is very very very less. & the fact is that from heart I love him & just for my family I went for arrange marry but that too went wrong. Now I request you to advise me a valid reason or points which I can explain to my family. It is quite obvious they will never accept a person who is already married but I need your help in this. Kindly advise some points or any story which I can mail to my brother which help him to think & do a favor for me.I have read & thought all advantages & disadvantages for the same but my soul will not live without my hubby.from the beginning he treated me as a wife not like friends or timepass. Please show me a way. One fact is also that I don't have dare to go against my family becoz they are in tense as well. I just want to convince them but not getting any ideas. I tried living without my hubby but my heart & mind always think about him. I tried making new partner but every moment I miss him becoz the way he cared me I think no body can do for me. Please understand & advise me. What is the use if I marry someone else but from heart & mind I will be thinking about my hubby. Is there any story or even fake story which I can mail to my brother which helps me to achieve my love. Please understnd

[LostGirl_86]

Have u figured out what u going to do?

[Impious]

No... I am totally confused... pls advise me please please... I am sure there would be a solution for the same... will my hubby wife can do anything in this. Recently one of my relative brought one wedding proposal for me but the moment my family told to that boy that my daughter was once engaged but was not worked out & was broken. They asked for the reason & my family told that someone called the boy & told that my daughter has relation with a boy & also shown some pix so they broke the engagement. After hearing this even this family is not taking any interest on us. This time all my family again in tense. Now I have thought not to marry anyone except my hubby since every time this is going to repeat. My hubby knows everything & I would not found any problem in settling with him. Please help how to convince my family. Hope you will understnd the situation.

[Impious]

Hi I am from india. Recently my sister got engaged to a guy searched out by my family.. Nonetheless , soon after my engagement , one anonymous girl called the boy we chosen for my sister marriage that she had relation with a boy & had physical relation with him several times. She also told that she used to go hotels along with him, take shower together & also got pregnant & aborted. That anonymous girl also shown few pix of my sister with her boyfriend . I have seen the pix where boys hugging with my sister. In fact by looking the pix we cannot say that that guy is a normal friend. In fact all these things are true which many of her friends knows. After hearing this the boy broke the engagement. After this incident the past story of my sister along with broken engagement is now known to whole world including my relatives, families, friends & even to my native places. We come from a traditional backgroud and we are surprised over my sister behaviour . I have my family who shattered with this break up... After seeing my family situation now, I am really worried about her future.. My biggest worry is that after all these true gossip in entire world how will now any man will accept my sister for marriage or she has to live alone without marriage for life time. Should we disclose these things to a next person or family, if we get engaged again or should we hide the same. We all family members are in tense. Relatives started commenting on us but few of them also supporting that they will help us to get marriage again. What could be the worst situation can happen. My sister age is 26 running. Curretnly she is not in touch with her boyfriend... also her boyfriend got married in 2009. We also got one proposal from a relative for my sister marriage but I don't know from where they came to know about this shameless incident & they not shown any interest further.
Somebody please advice !

[J_9]

So you and your sister have the same problem?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/weddin...ip-661589.html

Is your sister's engagement broken or is it yours? You have some very good advice on your other thread.

Your story and your sister's story are eerily alike.

[Impious]

Hey its me the same impious girl... I just wanted to understnd the problem being faced by my brother or by my family. I am so tense that I want to see everyone from every angle. Please don't take this otherwise... Actually all story is not known to my family... u r the only one who knows evertyhing about me after my hubby & hubby wife... I am just thinking what could be the situation if my family to know about my hubby story... at any cost I don't want to disclose this to my family unless I got solid or genuine reason which help to me bring knot with my hubby... else I do not want him or his wife to be in trouble... though now they are in mess just becoz of me but the best thing happening in my favor is that my hubby wife is cooperating us. We convinced her our true feelings... she really very understadble... please help me...

[Impious]

Please help... I seriously need your advice... pls understnd the situation I & my family is going through... at the same time my hubby is also really worried about me... I am 1000 times sure that he is going to keep me very happy if I marry him. Also I am sure I would not get any problem from his wife... only thing I am worried about is for my family... I just reason how to make them convince... is there any anonymous mail to my brother will help out for me... pls please please understand.

[Impious]

Thanks all... seems no body wants to help me... thats my fate... I will try to handle the best I can do.

[Impious]

Thanks... at this moment I am not getting any soluiton but I am sure god is with me... & this time I will try to be honest with me & my hubby too...

[ScottGem]

Thanks all...seems no body wants to help me...thats my fate....i will try to handle the best i can do.

One of the reasons you may not be getting help is that your stories don't jive. I have only glanced though your posts, but you start talking about your fiancée then about your hubby. Also you posted this situation a couple of days ago as yours, then this morning you posted it as your sister's (both threads have now been merged). Maybe when you get your story straight you can get more help.