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caydenlc88 · May 18, 2012, 06:41 AM

I haven't seen my son going on 5 months. His dad has physical custody and he just filed for child support. How can he do that when he's in contempt of court for not allowing me to see my son? I spoke to my son twice... the first time someone hung up on me, the second time we were on the phone for almost an hour. The father lied to me and said he would meet me in feb-april so I can get my son but lied about being there.

smoothy · May 18, 2012, 06:44 AM

Originally Posted by caydenlc88

I haven't seen my son going on 5 months. His dad has physical custody and he just filed for child support. How can he do that when he's in contempt of court for not allowing me to see my son? I spoke to my son twice.....the first time someone hung up on me, the second time we were on the phone for almost an hour. The father lied to me and said he would meet me in feb-april so i can get my son but lied about being there.

Those are two separate issues... and the fact you clearly make more than he does means YOU have to pay him support (welcome to the side most GUYS have to deal with)... one does not remove the obligations of the other... let the courts deal with the issues and not let emotions take over. When parents start behaving badly it's the kids who suffer most.

caydenlc88 · May 18, 2012, 06:47 AM

Originally Posted by smoothy

Those are two seperate issues.....and the fact you clearly make more than he does means YOU have to pay him support (welcome to the side most GUYS have to deal with)....one does not remove the obligations of the other....let the courts deal with the issues and not let emotions take over. When parents start behaving badly its the kids who suffer most.

So you mean to tell me I have to pay child support and he won't even let me see my son? I don't even know where my son is

Fr_Chuck · May 18, 2012, 06:57 AM

Yes you will have to pay child support if he gets a court order for it.

And he is only in contempt of court if you have taken him back to court and have him declared by the judge to be in contempt.

But as noted they are two separate issues,

caydenlc88 · May 18, 2012, 07:05 AM

This is my first time dealing with this... so in order to for the child support to go through do we have to go to court first?

smoothy · May 18, 2012, 07:14 AM

Originally Posted by caydenlc88

This is my first time dealing with this.....so in order to for the child support to go through do we have to go to court first?

Yes... the court will decide how much blood you have to give on support based on your real income... and will deal with custody and visitiation issues as well.

caydenlc88 · May 18, 2012, 07:17 AM

What if he gets locked up? Can he give custody to his mom or I atomatically get full custody?

smoothy · May 18, 2012, 07:19 AM

Why would he get locked up? First things first. During the next court case... he is likely to grasp the concept of what can and can't be done... Sounds like these are all recent events for both of you...

Keep your calm... be the voice of reason... even if he doesn't... and it will pay off in benefits for both you and the child...

caydenlc88 · May 18, 2012, 07:35 AM

He has been back and forth to court because he got caught with drugs. His next court date is on the 4th of next month. He has 9 charges. I have been calm and I will remain calm... I just want my baby back. He has him in California somewhere

J_9 · May 18, 2012, 07:42 AM

Why don't we start at the beginning.

Why don't you have custody of your son?

Fr_Chuck · May 18, 2012, 07:45 AM

Don't expect him to be "locked up". You have not answered what you have done, he is not letting you visit, so have you filed with the court or taken him back to court.

They will not discuss visits, at a child support hearing, unless you have filed motions with the court.

Most likely they will warn him, ask him way, and you will have to show that the court ordered visitation agreement is not being followed. You do have a court ordered visitation agreemetn ?

caydenlc88 · May 18, 2012, 01:23 PM

Yes I do

caydenlc88 · May 18, 2012, 01:27 PM

I don't have full custody because I wasn't on my feet... so I gave him physical custody. Eventho he had custody I was the one still doing everything. He didn't give me anything. Feb of this year is the first time he kept my son from me. I have my own apartment and car and I'm now working 2 jobs. I want my baby back

J_9 · May 18, 2012, 01:27 PM

If you want your baby back then file for custody and child support.

caydenlc88 · May 18, 2012, 01:29 PM

Originally Posted by J_9

If you want your baby back then file for custody and child support.

I am

dontknownuthin · May 18, 2012, 02:25 PM

I am not a lawyer but have worked in family law as a paralegal and have observed that often in divorce and/or custody cases, clients have the impression that they are going to write one piece of paper, go into court and the judge is going to decide everything. It can happen if you're in agreement with the other party on everything, but that rarely is the case.

The case often gets broken down into separate issues and then orders are issued by the judge to resolve those issues as they come up. You're each responsible for following whatever you've been ordered to do. So, even if the other parent is breaking all the court orders and is in contempt, you are still fully responsible for doing what you were ordered to do.

It is not fair, and usually when it is presented to the judge that you are doing everything you're supposed to do but the other parent is is contempt, that judge will take that into consideration. If you are in a custody battle, it's important to be very rational, reasonable, calm, mature, stable and reliable and to honor every court order that pertains to you. This is what will show the judge that you are the more reliable and appropriate parent for custody, particularly if the other parent has drug charges, is witholding access to the child and so on.

Really, really listen to your lawyer and stay above the drama. Be reasonable and instead of having a goal to win, make your goal be to provide your child two coooperative parents. Nobody wins in custody cases - the only way to win is for your child to have attention, love and support from both parents.