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    nickanderin2's Avatar
    nickanderin2 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    May 17, 2012, 03:22 AM
    He needs a little break
    I know this man 2 yrs & dated briefly. We took a 6 month break. No contact. We are now together 1yr & he says he needs a break. We started as friends. It grew into dating. Him calling & texting 50 times a day. Does not want a commitment. He never lied about that. Always saying we were friends 1st & we'll always be friends. Opened up his house for me anytime day or night. Great sex. We shared everything going on in our lives good & bad. Now the break. He loves me not in love with me. He needs 2 miss me. Not sure if he wants to be with me. He knows I deserve better than he has been treating me lately. He doesn't want 2 hurt me. Then hugged me, buried his head in my chest & told me this is harder than leaving his ex wife. Will not tell me if this is temporary or goodbye. But the door is still Open to the house for me. What do I do?
    answerme_tender's Avatar
    answerme_tender Posts: 1,148, Reputation: 689
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    May 18, 2012, 05:13 PM
    Let him have the time and space that he is needing. If he has actually said that "he loves you, but not in love with you". Its time to take your pride and move on with your life. He is more then likely has someone else that he is more interested in, yet might want to keep you on back burner to "hook up sex".

    The question here is when are you going to reach your limit of being used. To realize that you deserve more then what he has to offer. Is not going to be easy to move on when you still have feelings, but the chosen word is "you" have the feelings not HIM.

    Good luck
    nickanderin2's Avatar
    nickanderin2 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    May 19, 2012, 11:28 AM
    It's not about being used for sex. The sex was good but there was so much more.nights we sat & talked for hours without sex & then just cuddled in bed. There were times that he looked at me like there was nobody else in the world for him. We are not children. Both in our forties. This shouldn't be so complicated. He won't say it's over. Just that he is hurting too but we need to do this. Im a logical person but this makes no sense.
    answerme_tender's Avatar
    answerme_tender Posts: 1,148, Reputation: 689
    Ultra Member
     
    #4

    May 20, 2012, 05:02 PM
    You maybe the most logical person God ever put on this Earth, but for some reason when that little organ referred to as the "Heart" is involved the logical seems to take back set to what our heart is telling us. You love this person and are hurt by his withdraw of emotional connection to you. For whatever reason he is questioning this relationship. All you can do is give him the space to figure out what he really wants. Don't try and be logical in this instance with him. He may not be able to logically explain what he is feeling and all you will be doing is pushing him further away.

    Just give the space and that means no contact if you can. I know this won't be easy, but love never is.
    nickanderin2's Avatar
    nickanderin2 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #5

    May 24, 2012, 03:10 AM
    Well you were right. Went there to talk Monday. Still same story needs time. When he fell asleep I took his phone. He was carrying on a relationship with another woman for at least a month. There were at least 3 other women he is talking to. All of the texts centered around drinking & partying. Needless to say there was a lot of screaming &cryinng. He denies everything. Wants me to be in his life. Carried me 2 his bed threw himself on top of me. Wanting to hold me & my hand. No sorry. No admittance. No answers. No contact since & I'm a mess.

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