[Cindy15]

I have a alcoholic son. When he drinks he become functionless. He is a binge drinker. He can not work. I am trying to help him. Nothing is working. What should I do to help him. Should I kick him out? Please let me know my options.

[nurse86]

Is there a reason for why he drinks so much alcohol? Does he realise that he has a problem? Sometimes drinking excessive amounts of alcohol can be related to underlying issues that haven't been properly addressed. Perhaps try speaking with him and ask him why he gets drunk so often. He needs to realise that he needs help before help is given in the form of alcohol support services. If he doesn't want help then there isn't anything you can do, you need to do what's best for you to keep a happy home. Hope his helps a bit

[Cindy15]

Thanks nurse86 for replying my post. Something happened long time ago. Now he is saying he has been drinking from ten years. It is hard to quit. He is trying and fail. He tried AA and other services but nothing help. Some people saying we should kick him from the house then he will learn the lesson. They are saying we are enabling him. Yes he realize that he has problem. He is saying I want to quit but I am unable to do so. When he does not drink then he is very hard working person.

[DrBill100]

The fact that he recognizes a drinking problem is very important. Don't be disillusioned by the fact that he didn't embrace AA. Most problem drinkers don't. Here is another resource that is worth a try:

SMART Recovery® states that participants learn tools for addiction recovery based on the latest scientific research and participate in a world-wide community which includes free, self-empowering, secular and science-based, mutual-help support groups. This group emphasizes that it is non-12-Step, and is recognized by American Academy of Family Physicians, as well as the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA)* and the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA)*. (agencies of the National Institutes of Health (NIH), a component of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. >LINK

There is also a book that has received very favorable comments, Get Your Loved One Sober: Alternatives to Nagging, Pleading, and Threatening. >LINK I'm sure this is available through your local library as well. This provides you with means and methods to proactively assist your son.

The very last thing I suggest is threatening, disowning or rejection of any type. Family and social support is a common element in those that recover from Alcohol Use Disorders.

[nurse86]

I think its important to make sure that support is continued and to not stop after the first hurdle. He needs to somehow break the drinking cycle and have something to aim for

[Cindy15]

Thanks DrBill 100 and nurse86 for information. I did join Al non meetings and I learn from there that I am enabling him to drink. He is a very smart young man. He get accepted in medicine and destroyed everything with binge drinking. We are trying to get focus on something. So he does not go into any depression. When he does not drink he can study for hours and workout. After one sip of alcohol he can not stop drinking. Then he drinks straight 10 to 15 days. He read this post and he will try for smart recovery tomorrow. Now he is saying his cravings are so strong he can not stop. When he start drinking he can not think and just end up in LCBO. He always break the drinking cycle and after sometime end up there. He is helpless for this cycle. According you we should give him family support. It means I am not enabling him.

[DrBill100]

What you have described is not "enabling".

You may also want to look into a couple of other methods:
1) The Sinclair Method. >LINK
2) Dr Ameisens System. Baclofen. A drug with a long history for treating spasticity, a muscle relaxant. Later, it came into wide use in alcohol detoxification. Dr Oliver Ameisen, a French cardiologist and himself an alcoholic, was the first to report that it is useful in treating alcoholism by diminishing the desire for or reward of drinking. Ameisen wrote a book on his experience End of My Addiction and interest in this drug has continued to expand. There are now supporting studies of it's efficacy for that purpose. 2010 LINK The most recent information is from University of Glasgow >LINK

These methods require a prescribing physician and in the US few are familiar with the respective uses. Both have been proven effective, but not for everyone. The key is that Alcohol Use Disorders can be treated but it sometimes takes a lot of perseverance.

[Cindy15]

Thanks for replyingDrBill 100 He did use Baclofen and disulafiram and for craving medicine Revia. May be he has no Will power to stop. I think he is under depression too because lost everything. He tries but every time failed. His Mcat score are not good anymore. He bought again Mcat books last month and again start drinking. I think now he is giving up. I do not blame for this. We are saying your whole family standing for help try again. Yet we are helpless for everything.

[Cindy15]

DrBill 100 I emailed your post to him.

[DrBill100]

Thanks for replyingDrBill 100 He did use Baclofen and disulafiram and for craving medicine Revia. May be he has no Will power to stop. I think he is under depression too because lost everything. He tries but every time failed. His Mcat score are not good anymore. He bought again Mcat books last month and again start drinking. I think now he is giving up. I do not blame for this. We are saying your whole family standing for help try again. Yet we are helpless for everything.

Depression and drinking disorders are inextricably linked. It's the chicken and egg scenario. Excessive alcohol leads to depressive episodes and depression leads to more drinking. Which came first or to what extent one may be causing the other is impossible to determine until several months of abstinence is achieved.

It is very important not to lose hope because one method fails. Disulfiram has been around for more than 50 years. Except for very short term use it is worthless. It has no therapeutic value.

ReVia (Naltrexone) has no independent therapeutic value. The research on this drug is damning and demonstrates uniform ineffectiveness at reducing craving for alcohol. The same can be said for Acamprosate. Naltrexone is no longer recommended for use except in conjunction with intensive counseling. I assert that if one will eat one pinto bean per day and adhere to a intensive counseling regimen some improvement will result. So it is with Naltrexone.

So you have tried two methods that simply aren't effective. That does not point to the chronicity or severity of the problem, although such failures are often converted to hopelessness and can thereby worsen prognosis by feeling one is destined to failure. That nothing can help. If all these systems didn't work, it must be hopeless... May as well give up.

Not so.

I am interested in the Baclofen... who recommended that and at what dosage?

[Fr_Chuck]

I will say that there is a fine line from enabling and helping.
He is living at home, who is paying for his cell phone ? His iPod, and so on, what does he do all day, play video games

Does he work around the house,help clean, do his own laundry , help cook his meals.

Does he have a car, who pays the bills, who pays insurance and gasoline,

Who pays for all the things he drinks if he is not working.

If you are putting one penny toward things he needs to pay for his self, it is the start of enabling.

[smearcase]

I am not an expert in this matter just suffered greatly due to some real world experience. Just something to consider and this was related to me by a highly qualified physician--one common factor about alcoholics is their short lives. If the son is driving, it is just a matter of time before tragedy strikes and the tragedy can last a lifetime, whether it is another driver or the drunken driver. You have an upper hand here that we did not have. We didn't realize there was a problem for him with alcohol and we kick ourselves for not knowing that, and not doing every possible thing we might have been able to do about it. Kicking him out based on our experience is the worst thing you could do right now. Our son was living with a male friend 100 miles away from us and not one of his many friends had the courage to tell us what was going on. Again you have an advantage in seeing for yourself pretty much continuously what is going on. I have known at least two binge drinkers extremely well---if that is the proper term for the "one sip and drink til you run out of all the money you can beg borrow or steal" type drinker. One of them went 15 years without a sip, totally squared away with work and family-- then had a small crisis at age 74 and went straight to the sauce. We were lucky to have some friends who could help us get him committed to a unit for 30 days, and he lived another 6 years without any incidents.
You have gotten some excellent input above. But I will just add that no matter how bad you perceive it to be now, it will pale in comparison to a state trooper on your porch at 7 AM delivering some bad news of some type or another.

[Cindy15]

Thanks DrBill 100 You were asking for Baclofen. It was prescribed by Psychiatric with the advice of alcoholic specialist.

[DrBill100]

Thanks DrBill 100 You were asking for Baclofen. It was prescribed by Psychiatric with the advice of alcoholic specialist.

I should have clarified earlier, but do you live in US? Also do you know dosage?

[Cindy15]

smearcase first off all I want to say thanks who spend time on my problem. What you wrote it is answer of my questions. We were debating to kick him out. I know it is hard for parents to ignore their kids. Thanks for such a nice advice and I will follow this with my whole strength.

[Cindy15]

Fr_Chuck thanks for your input. He is a student and score highest marks in Mcat. He can study hours to hours. I can say he is very smart kid. Now he is not that person anymore. He tries his best but every time fails. It was the reason we are debating with ourselves what should we do for this problem. He is not working but he did work with big firm. Something happened which changed his life completely. As parents we have no direction to follow but I hope everyone can guide us with their advice. If he were normal kid it must be easy for us to ignore him. He scored highest marks in GPA. He worked so hard in school and university. At the end he give up everything to binge drinking.

[DrBill100]

I am not an expert in this matter just suffered greatly due to some real world experience.

You are the leading expert in such matters. Clinicians make disinterested third-party intellectual interpretations... you lived it. We can learn far more from you than you from us.

The pre-eminent problem in drinking disorders is that practitioners and researchers spent so much time talking at patients and their families that we failed to learn from them.

Excellent empathic advice...

[Cindy15]

DrBill100 Baclofen dosage 20mg and we live in Canada.

[DrBill100]

DrBill100 Baclofen dosage 20mg and we live in Canada.

I suggest reading up on Baclofen. It is my understanding that it is effective only at high dosage.

That was my first clue that you weren't in US. Here it is very difficult to obtain a prescription as very few doctors have any idea of it's off-label use.

[Cindy15]

DrBill100 Then how much dosage should be for Baclofen per day.