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Cindy15 · May 15, 2012, 01:32 PM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

I will say that there is a fine line from enabling and helping.
He is living at home, who is paying for his cell phone ? his ipod, and so on, what does he do all day, play video games

Does he work around the house,help clean, do his own laundry , help cook his meals.

Does he have a car, who pays the bills, who pays insurance and gasoline,

Who pays for all the things he drinks if he is not working.

If you are putting one penny toward things he needs to pay for his self, it is the start of enabling.

What you said it is very true according you we are enabling him.

DrBill100 · May 15, 2012, 02:23 PM

Originally Posted by Cindy15

DrBill100 Then how much dosage should be for Baclofen per day.

Here is a website for Baclofen that allows for e-mail inquiries. I am not familiar with the recommended dosage due to lack of use in US. Entirely dependent on research studies wherein recommendations are varied.

Baclofen

Cindy15 · May 15, 2012, 05:53 PM

In my family every male drink. Everyone have really successful life. My son who is binge drinking and alcoholic. Please let me know is alcoholism a genetic disorder.

LadySam · May 15, 2012, 06:36 PM

The Mayo clinic lists Family History as a risk factor.
Alcoholism: Risk factors - MayoClinic.com

This research says that there is a genetic link that influences impulse.
Scientists explore new link between genetics, alcoholism and the brain

YourAnswer · May 16, 2012, 06:34 AM

Forget Alcoholics Anonymous(AA) because its success rate is only about 5%. That is, only about one of every twenty alcoholics get sober through its program.

The non-profit St. Jude Program has an independently certified long term success rate of 62%. Learn more at http://www.soberforever.net/vara.cfm

DrBill100 · May 16, 2012, 11:40 AM

In addition to the excellent information provided by LadySam, above:

Here is a very informative history of the science behind the genetic theory of alcoholism. If you don't want to read it all you can skip to the section Alcohol and Genes.

Blum, 2007 Reward Deficiency Syndrome

While I understand your need to explain why your son behaves as he does, it is important to realize that abusive drinking is an immediate problem.

If alcohol abuse is ultimately determined to be of genetic origin or influence that may provide some therapeutic guidance. That doesn't help now.

Your son can be helped. He seems amenable to obtaining the needed help. Those are the pre-eminent facts. The remainder seems to me distant and pale in comparison.

Most abusive drinkers do recover therefore it can be asserted that they are not doomed by their genes. The key is attention to the immediate needs so they can survive long enough to eventually achieve abstinence.

Ref.

NIAAA, Spectrum, Alcoholism isn't what it used to be.

Cindy15 · May 16, 2012, 02:07 PM

YourAnswer Thanks for information. He is Canadian. Soberforever is for American.

YourAnswer · May 16, 2012, 03:27 PM

The St. Jude Program has off campus help for people anywhere in the world.

Cindy15 · May 16, 2012, 05:54 PM

YourAnswer Thanks for reply I called 1.888.424.2626 this number and they said we do not have anything in Canada.

Cindy15 · May 16, 2012, 06:12 PM

We are in trouble. He is saying it is hard to quit his cravings are too strong. If he breaks this circle then he knows he can not drink. Before he always keep hope he can drink. He starts on May 4th and continue. When he does not drink he keeps himself very busy. His mind always in drinking but he ignore the situation. He is saying his mind always tell him drink drink only this music in his ears all the time. One way it is very hard life for him. Now he give up and depressed. His all friends are doctors or lawyers. He lost everything with drinking and now he is not talking with anyone. It is shameful act for him.

smearcase · May 18, 2012, 02:51 PM

The feeling that he has to have the hope of future drinking guaranteed may disappear after he has gone through a program (I keep hearing 30 days minimum). I have a very good friend who went into a U.S. Veterans' Administration program which was supposed to be 30 days but talked his way out in about 15 days. This guy is a salesman and is superb at talking anybody into anything. He was back into substance abuse within a month (or less). He says the VA used suboxone for alcholoics but I never have been able to determine if that was true- Dr. Bill? ).
Is there any way under your laws to have him committed to a facility for mandatory treatment. That had to be done by court order when the person I knew was committed, but I had a friend who was a police officer that helped by testifying. Dr. Bill told me I am an expert based on my personal experience and I appreciate that but I won't really make that claim. But I believe that your son needs some expert physical and mental health treatment. You didn't say whether he drives. I hope not.

Cindy15 · May 18, 2012, 07:53 PM

smearcase I hope his drinking habit disappear. He never drive whenever he drink. Today I called ambulance and send him in hospital. I told them his mentally condition is not stable. Lets hope for the best. I am looking for direction yet reach no where. Hope one day he realize.

Cindy15 · May 23, 2012, 03:25 PM

My son went to hospital. I met his doctor. My son is a alcoholic. When doctor was talking do not drink for ever. You have no control over alcohol. He was repeating if I relaps then what happened. Doctor was saying 80% people relaps and 20% never relaps. You should be in 20% people. I think he always keep his window open for drink or all alcoholic people think this way. Please let me know.

DrBill100 · May 23, 2012, 04:06 PM

Originally Posted by Cindy15

My son went to hospital. I met his doctor. My son is a alcoholic. When doctor was talking do not drink for ever. You have no control over alcohol. He was repeating if I relaps then what happened. Doctor was saying 80% people relaps and 20% never relaps. You should be in 20% people. I think he always keep his window open for drink or all alcoholic people think this way. Please let me know.

It's difficult to argue with the advice of this doctor. Most people lapse or relapse (actually about 93%) and only a very few do not (7%)... keep yourself in those that do not relapse and you'll be fine (or at least sober).

Of course that begs the larger question of how do we (or does he) accomplish that end. Certainly not by reciting statistics, tired platitudes or looking for a common thought pattern that applies to all problem drinkers.

Have you or your son looked into any of the resources I previously furnished?

Cindy15 · May 23, 2012, 05:33 PM

DrBill100 Yes I looked these resources but he was busy for drinking. He quit on May 18th and now like before he will be sober for 2 to 3 months. DrBill he studied for alcoholism but when he did relapls everything useless for him. This time he starts on May 4th to 18th. After two three months he becomes so confident and he thinks he can drink now. DrBill 93% is very high percentage. It means alcoholic people can not quit. He always scares from relaps. His therapist advised him if with mistake you drink just drink for one day and quit. He never listen to anyone. This time he was very aggressive. We tried our best to keep him under control. One day he was so drunk he could not move and then I called ambulance and send him hospital. They kept him there for few days. Now he is again sober and will be for few months. Every time we think he will learn from mistake. I hope one day will come.

DrBill100 · May 23, 2012, 06:19 PM

Originally Posted by Cindy15

DrBill100 Yes I looked these resources but he was busy for drinking. He quit on May 18th and now like before he will be sober for 2 to 3 months. DrBill he studied for alcoholism but when he did relapls everything useless for him. This time he starts on May 4th to 18th. After two three months he becomes so confident and he thinks he can drink now. DrBill 93% is very high percentage. It means alcoholic people can not quit. He always scares from relaps. His therapist advised him if with mistake you drink just drink for one day and quit. He never listen to anyone. This time he was very aggressive. We tried our best to keep him under control. One day he was so drunk he could not move and then I called ambulance and send him hospital. They kept him there for few days. Now he is again sober and will be for few months. Every time we think he will learn from mistake. I hope one day will come.

Relapse does not indicate no recovery. The 93% figure is derived from those that have been treated for alcohol abuse. What can be derived from the figure is that relapses are to be expected and frustrating as it may be must be dealt with and then proactive measures taken.

I think I provided this previously, if not here it is. Alcoholism Isn't What It Used To Be

As you will note there is a very high rate of recovery from AUDs despite the intermittent relapse rate. That is all part of the bigger picture, syndrome if you prefer. It means that on the road to recovery there will probably be a lot of pot-holes.

It is very easy to get disillusioned, to develop negative expectations, and want to give up. To think that it is hopeless... It's not.

While your son is sober you must act now to prolong that sobriety, maybe prevent the next lapse.

Cindy15 · May 24, 2012, 07:20 AM

Dr.Bill 100
He said that he is not going to drink any more. He said If he ever lapse again, he would die. This time he said, "Do not talk with me regarding alcohol as this is constant reminder to him for drinking. During the drinking, his personality completely changed & he does not listen to anyone. He does not know how to get out of alcohol. This time, If we do not watch closely, he could die from drinking. When he starts, he can not stop. He gets up drink again, gets up drink again... sleeping & stayed in the bed all the time. He is not social person any more. He contains to himself, this is not good at all. Although, he has started MCAT preparation again from yesterday. He also wrote this exam 6 years ago & passed with very high marks.
He drinks so heavily if he would not stop, one day he would die.

Shellmae80 · May 25, 2012, 08:34 AM

Originally Posted by Cindy15

My son went to hospital. I met his doctor. My son is a alcoholic. When doctor was talking do not drink for ever. You have no control over alcohol. He was repeating if I relaps then what happened. Doctor was saying 80% people relaps and 20% never relaps. You should be in 20% people. I think he always keep his window open for drink or all alcoholic people think this way. Please let me know.

As a child and grandchild of family that have and still are recovering and who also has had a stint in rehab myself that sound like the percentanges that I have heard from rehab and that I have also seen drop out of programs like AA. A sad number relapse repeatedly before it sticks for them (hopefully), some don't get to that point. But the part of the no control over alcohol is absolutely true for the rest of their lives. Best of luck to your son, it's a hrd long road!

Cindy15 · May 25, 2012, 01:43 PM

Shellmae80 Thanks for your input. He is not realizing main concept of no control over alcohol. He always thinks he has control over alcohol. His therapist told him that you do not have control over alcohol. If you relapse just drink for one day and do not drink next day. I am really feel sorry for alcoholic people. General people do not understand their problem. This is a horrible disease. Everyone suffer in family. Hope one day they will find the cure.

HoneyMaid · Jun 30, 2012, 08:05 PM

Hi any updates on your son's recovery. I am hoping for the best for him and your family. I personally know what it is like to spend the night scared hoping he makes uneventfully through a night (or weekend) of heavy drinking, and like you I feel so powerless over not being able to help recover my son from his addiction. I am a mom also worried about my son, and when I read your story is so similar to mine, with my son who is also preparing for Mcats, has top grades at school,in fact he has been told unofficially that he will be accepted at his undergrad school's Medical school. So this is like a dream come true for him in so many ways, I just can't 'understand why he needs to be drinking to dangerously high levels weekend after weekend. For a little while he began to add "days" to the weekend cycle for a for example adding Thursdays but for now I was able to convince him to stop adding days to this drinking cycle, so he "on" drinking mode Fri- late Sun / till morning hours of Monday.. He has this cycle going on every weekend where he will drink as much as possible and as quickly as possible then gets into this very dark depressed mode until he repeats the drinking again the next day. He has recognized at time that he does have an issue controlling drinking but as much as I beg him to see a mental health counselor, or therapist, or AA, rehab, ANYTHING that can help him realize that he can overcome this, he refuses and has been leaving me very little in terms of options... I have asked him to move out of the house because I live literally scared and unsafe in my own home (we have had the cops here three times to calm him down). In our home I am a recovering alcoholic myself (5 years straight sober) but prior to that I had many shorter periods where I abstained from drinking from time to time, but none lasting this long. I cannot count on his father for support because he himself is also a medical doctor too and drinks pretty heavily when he is off even though he has ascites in his belly stemming from alcoholic hepatitis.