[baatezu]

Me and my ex have been together for the most part of the last 6 years. But every time she has a problem she runs to her family and they tell her to leave me all I'm doing is draging her down and then she does. So now I have to work on getting her back again because her family does not like me one bit. I just got off surgery on my foot she left me about a month before I could return to work. I know she loves me and cares for me. I also know her family is stopping her from being with me. We have a son together and if she's at my house for more then a half hour her family digs into everything and asks here why she's still here and whatever else they ask her. If we want to spend time together I either have to go to her house or I have to hide her car at my place. I really love and care for her I also feel this is the right thing for the both of us. If I felt that anything wasn't right for us I wouldn't be trying to get her back. Her family also said I should have had a better job lined up for when I could go back to work. Well its kind of hard to find a job in a cast and can't drive. Her family leaned her towards leaving me and left me with all the bills in the house and not able to work at all. Like I said I know she loves me and cares for me because if she didn't she wouldn't tell me that she wants to be a happy family or wants to work it out none the talk to me and spend time together once and awhile. I have been told we will be together again it will just take time and we have to start over as friends and build a strong relationship. I just need to find out how to get her realize what her family is doing to her and to me. How do I do that without just telling her because I tried that already.

[joypulv]

Studies show that the number one cause of fights is over money. If you have had a struggle providing for her and your son, and her family takes her and him and spends money on them, then that might be the crux of the whole problem. Is there any truth to that? If so, all you can do is tell her that you try your best and that it hurts when she runs home like a little girl. Maybe they could help watch the boy and she could work too.

[tiggerella]

Have you tried couples counseling of any sort? It definitely sounds like you need it, but if either of you refuse to do so, it definitely is time for an ultimatum. It's time for you to stop "working to get her back" because, despite what her family is telling her, it isn't you dragging her down or you wouldn't have posted here. SHE is dragging YOU down and making you grovel for her attention, and that isn't any way for a relationship to thrive.

Next time she runs back home to "mama", put your foot down and tell her enough is enough. If she can't fully commit to the relationship and tell her family that she loves you and is going to be with you despite their objections, then she isn't mature enough to be in the relationship. Tell her that, you're willing to remain friends for the sake of your son - and then see a legal expert (even your local department of human services will do this for you and usually for free) and set up a schedule for you to be able to see your son and remain in his life. If you have to hide the fact that she's with you, then she sincerely needs professional help because she's living a lie - and she needs to come clean as to whether she's lying about loving you, because her actions ARE NOT love...

I sincerely hope that all turns out well for you in this relationship, but if not, I sincerely hope you find someone who is worthy of your complete devotion. If this woman can't see what she's losing, there is another woman who is going to be the happiest woman alive!