[LTalbert70]

I have 2 adult daughters , One is married and the other lives with me. The family was together for thanksgiving 2011. Over this visit the 2 daughters had a physical altercation in my home started by the married daughter. The married daughter left the house and followed her husband. The married daughter and her husband stated my home is not a fit environment for my grand child as long as the younger daughter lives in my house. Therefore I can no longer see my grandson.

We (My husband and I) scheduled a meeting with the older daughter and her husband to talk the situation out and try to come to a resolution. This meeting ended badly, our son-in-law called me the worst mother and mother-in -law in the world. And my daughter didn't correct him at all. I haven't heard from her in 4 months. I have only heard about my grandson through other people that we both know.

What can I do to repair this relationship, or at least be able to be part of my grandsons life. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Just to let you know before all of this my duaghter and I were very close and spoke almost every other day. I was in the delivery room when the grandson was born. Per her request.

[joypulv]

I'm not sure what to say without some small clue as to what is so horrible about your younger daughter in their eyes, and why they think you are the worst M and MIL in the world.

If you don't want to talk about that, you can ask about grandparent legal rights for your state. But they are not easy to get, if they exist at all.

[LTalbert70]

I am the worst M and ML because I told them the truth. My daughter willnot admit that she started this argument with her sister and threw the first blow. It was so bad I pushed myself in between the two girls to try to minimize the situation. While I was doing this my daughters husband was packing the car and getting ready to leave.
My youngest is outspoken when she sees things she doesn't like. My oldest and her have never really gotten along as children. As adults they tolerate each other. I honestly believe my son in law never liked coming to my home and this was his way to get out of coming here.

I have checked into grandparents rights in ma. Not so good, it would only work if I wanted custody of my grandson. I don't need custody I just want tot be able to se ehim like I did before.

[Fr_Chuck]

Sorry as long as you want to try and "make" the older daughter admit fault, you will lose.

You have to accept that they can believe what they want, and accept that they don't like younger daughter, You agree that they don't have to come over to your home as long as the younger daughter is living there, and ask them if they will at least meet you outside your home

You promise not to talk about the event that happen, and you promise not to even talk about your other daughter.

[JudyKayTee]

I am the worst M and ML because I told them the truth. My daughter willnot admit that she started this argument with her sister and threw the first blow. it was so bad I pushed myself in between the two girls to try to minimize the situation. While I was doing this my daughters husband was packing the car and getting ready to leave.
My youngest is outspoken when she sees things she doesnt like. My oldest and her have never really gotten along as children. as adults they tolerate each other. I honestly believe my son in law never liked coming to my home and this was his way to get out of coming here.

I have checked into grandparents rights in ma. not so good, it would only work if I wanted custody of my grandson. I dont need custody I just want tot be able to se ehim like I did before.

I don't quite honestly know why this is your problem to solve. Your married daughter (and her husband) won't let you visit with their child. Unfortunately, that's their decision. I have no idea why you would meet with them to work things out and, from what I'm reading, either justify or explain the behavior of the younger sister.

And I think your attitude toward your son in law is obvious - maybe that's what you believe and maybe his attitude is because of your younger daughter. I don't go where I get into verbal (to say nothing of physical) altercations. I don't think it's his way of getting out of anything. I think he's probably protecting his own family and sick of the infighting.

Is your younger daughter outspoken - or opinionated or obnoxious?

[DoulaLC]

I'd send a written apology to your daughter and son-in-law for bringing up the issue when you went to meet with them. Acknowledge your understanding of their not wanting to come to your home while your younger daughter is there. Obviously they don't get along, and that is something for the two of them to work out at some point if they choose to.

Their behavior towards each other is unfortunate, and likely due to some immaturity on both parts, but it happens and you can't change that. Do your best not to get pulled into the middle of it, or think that you have to fix it for them... as tempting as it may be.

Extend the olive branch... as was mentioned, why not go visit them at their home or get together for a picnic at a park, or offer to take your grandson to lunch and a movie, etc. There are many opportunities to see him outside of him coming to your home.