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danniejoy · May 2, 2012, 02:32 PM

Paper work was never finalized, however the birth mother has not been in contact with the child since he was an infant. Is it legal for the adoptive party to seek child support?

cdad · May 2, 2012, 02:45 PM

What do you mean by adoptive party? Do you have legal custody of the child? Why wasn't the adoption completed? Was the mother told of this?

AK lawyer · May 2, 2012, 06:39 PM

If the would-be adopting parent(s) have physical custody of the child, they should be entitled to get an award of chid support from the mother (as well as the father, by the way).

Synnen · May 2, 2012, 06:58 PM

The turn around on that, though, is that if you go after the birthparents for child support because they are still the legal parent, they can then seek permanent custody of the child. If you are not related biologically, you may have no right after that to anything more than an occasional visit.

WHY wasn't the adoption paperwork completed? It's unlikely that the TPR was official unless the adoption was completed, as well.

AK lawyer · May 2, 2012, 07:26 PM

"TPR" = "termination of parental rights", a necessary step for adoption in many cases.

danniejoy · May 3, 2012, 07:29 AM

I am the birth mother. Its complicated.

danniejoy · May 3, 2012, 07:34 AM

Originally Posted by Synnen

The turn around on that, though, is that if you go after the birthparents for child support because they are still the legal parent, they can then seek permanent custody of the child. If you are not related biologically, you may have no right after that to anything more than an occasional visit.

WHY wasn't the adoption paperwork completed? It's unlikely that the TPR was official unless the adoption was completed, as well.

I am the birth mother. The fraternal grandmother was the one who wanted to adopt my son. She made all kinds of promises to me while I was pregnant and because I was vulnerable and gullible I never got anything in writing. She promised also to follow through with the adoption papers and I stupidly waited. Thank you for your answer.

ScottGem · May 3, 2012, 08:19 AM

So where is the child now? And how old is the child?

If the birth mother has made no contact with the child, then she may have trouble regaining custody. On the other hand, if the grandparents go after you for support, I would go into court and that you were young and naïve and didn't understand the laws. That you know better now and want to raise your child.

Assuming of course, that's what you want. If it sin't then you tell the court that you agreed to the adoption and don't know why the papers haven't been finalized. And you stand read y to go ahead with it.

danniejoy · May 3, 2012, 10:08 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

So where is the child now? And how old is the child?

If the birth mother has made no contact with the child, then she may have trouble regaining custody. On the other hand, if the grandparents go after you for support, I would go into court and that you were young and naive and didn't understand the laws. That you know better now and want to raise your child.

Assuming of course, that's what you want. If it sin't then you tell the court that you agreed to the adoption and don't know why the papers haven't been finalized. And you stand read y to go ahead with it.

Thank you for your answer! I do not wish to regain custody, I feel that would be damaging to both the child and myself. He is now 6 years old. I haven't had any contact with the child or the rest of the family since the child was a few months old. I have very low income and a fix budget. I will tell the judge of my intent to finalize the adoption. My next question would be, does the county they live in have the right to go forward with child support orders without contacting me? You see, I only know of the grandmothers intent due to 1. The postal service left a letter to them (the letter was addressed to the postmaster) in my mail box regarding my whereabouts and 2. my boss was contacted by the county for my pay rate and hours. So I am left wondering how to prevent an order for child support going through without having a chance to defend myself...

ScottGem · May 3, 2012, 10:32 AM

If the grandparents applied for public assistance then its possible the state is looking to be reimbursed by you. I would contact the case worker and tell them it was your understanding you gave the child up for adoption.

JudyKayTee · May 3, 2012, 10:39 AM

What EXACTLY did you sign? Any adoption also required the consent of the father, by the way.

danniejoy · May 4, 2012, 10:35 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

What EXACTLY did you sign? Any adoption also required the consent of the father, by the way.

I signed temporary orders.
Is it possible to relinquish my rights even if the father doesn't? This has been a very painful experience for me and I really do not wish to engage with it further. Relinquishing my rights seems to be the right thing to do.

JudyKayTee · May 4, 2012, 11:55 AM

You cannot relinquish your rights until someone is ready/able to adopt the child. You, for example, cannot relinquish if the father will not.

I'm surprised that you haven't been taken to Court for child support IF there has been no adoption.

danniejoy · May 4, 2012, 12:06 PM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

You cannot relinquish your rights until someone is ready/able to adopt the child. You, for example, cannot relinquish if the father will not.

I'm surprised that you haven't been taken to Court for child support IF there has been no adoption.

After your answer I did some investigating, I have found out that the child is not where we all agreed he would be. He is in fact with the father. I have looked into findind a lawyer. I have no further questions Thank you for your time.